Tour2ma
06-21-2003, 07:46 AM
1. Why does a gynecologist leave the room when a patient gets undressed?
2. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
3. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob... '?
4. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
5. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?
6. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
7. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
8. What do people in China call their best plates?
9. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
10. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
11. What do you call male ballerinas?
12. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap......why couldn't he just buy dinner?
13. Why do you trust a person to handle your money that is called a 'Broker'?
14. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
15. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
16. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
17. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
18. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
19. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
2. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
3. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob... '?
4. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
5. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?
6. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
7. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
8. What do people in China call their best plates?
9. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
10. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
11. What do you call male ballerinas?
12. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap......why couldn't he just buy dinner?
13. Why do you trust a person to handle your money that is called a 'Broker'?
14. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
15. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
16. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
17. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
18. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
19. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?