It's Friday, how about something offensive?

[RuSsMaN]

Been a little while since we had a nice, offensive post.

I'll get things started.

Eight sure-fire ways to tell if you are gay...

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you
are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the
boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups,
aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you are single and have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like
a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches
itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and
whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog...
"Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now
think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy,
snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any
such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man
only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish
guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in
training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in
a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's
world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high
hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black,
and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a
"Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what
artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet
in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different
types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes
to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain
to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all
the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA
and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a
"fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of
textile other than denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're
dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the
wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The
rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station,
eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with his bitch in the
passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere,
vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of
those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching
any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely
to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is
what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly.

Cheers,
Russ

[trubluluc]

....is starting to kick in eh? :p

-Luc

[George Grand]

Why pussyfoot around? Let's choose somebody's name at random and just torment them? For no good reason.

George Grand

[PolkThug]

Originally posted by George Grand
Why pussyfoot around? Let's choose somebody's name at random and just torment them? For no good reason.

George Grand

GGG!

Gay George Grand





:p

[George Grand]

Not ME you dunderhead. I don't like to be picked on. Somebody else. A name picked at random............... from this list.

a. Spyderman
b. Scott T.
c. Bullwinkle


George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[RuSsMaN]

Dunderhead, I LOVE that.

Can I use that, or do I have to pay royalties like 'Crackpot'?

Cheers,
Russ

[George Grand]

Don't get me started on your misappropriation of all the good **** I come up with. The list grows longer every day. Yesterday there were a few.

Crackpot
Dunderhead
Rancho de ...........
"Who'll join ME over at AK?"
Deep bass that rolls around the room at your knees

Give me some time and I'll remember the rest. OR, you could just quote me.

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[George Grand]

Okay, who's gonna pick one of the names? Any one of the three picked at random will do.

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[ninerbj]

I dunno man... GGG has a nice flaming ring to it!

[RuSsMaN]

Apparently someone has never had their ass kicked (or contemplated the thought) by a walking brick-wall from Jersey in a wife-beater tee, that reaks of rum and brylcreme.

Cheers,
Russ

[ninerbj]

PFFFFFFFFT
Apparently someone has never met my wife!

[ninerbj]

I'm sorry honey...just kidding:D

[TechChallenged]

Man Sore. Fun post.

[dragon1952]

quote:
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high
hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black,
and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a
"Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what
artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet
in your mouth, you've had a man there, too. :end quote:

Is regular coffee with 2% milk OK?????
:confused:

[VR3]

I dont drink coffee. Be a real man, grab a cheerwine.

Where will you be when the craving hits? :D

[wlrandall]

Originally posted by Vr3MxStyler2k3
I dont drink coffee. Be a real man, grab a cheerwine.

Where will you be when the craving hits? :D

What the hell is cheerwine??

Strong, black coffee in the mornings, beer in the afternoon, reverse on weekends or make it all beer...

[HBombToo]

Originally posted by wlrandall

Strong, black coffee in the mornings, beer in the afternoon, reverse on weekends or make it all beer...

I think I have a real Twin in Polk County!

HBomb

[mrmusicman]

Apparently someone has never had their ass kicked (or contemplated the thought) by a walking brick-wall from Jersey in a wife-beater tee, that reaks of rum and brylcreme.

How about this guy?

[Zen Dragon]

Originally posted by RuSsMaN


2. If you are single and have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like
a dog, but gay

Hey. I'm single with a cat. I work too much to leave a dog home alone. Besides, chicks dig cats, and they have to bend over much further to pet them. ;)

[VR3]

Cheerwine is a soft drink only available in NC, SC, GA

[ninerbj]

ok, then how would that be funny?

[VR3]

Its not funny...

I was just making a statement...

I dont drink coffee

and "Where will you be when the craving hits" - is their comercial slogan

[Sami]

Originally posted by RuSsMaN
Dunderhead, I LOVE that.

9. When a man says "I LOVE this/that/it", he is a certifiable poof. Especially if there is emphasis on "LOVE".

Now insert mouth wide open... :o

:D

[ninerbj]

Hmmmmm....now I am starting to understand why Russ has all those pics of guys passed out in the man cave:eek:

[Spoonman]

For those who might have a difficult time telling the difference.

http://www.btinternet.com/~b3ta/gayorstraight/

[HBombToo]

Originally posted by ninerbj
Hmmmmm....now I am starting to understand why Russ has all those pics of guys passed out in the man cave:eek:

hmmm... and who might you be referring to?

Henry

[ninerbj]

I dunno Henry, did you by chance have a sore ass with that hangover??

[RuSsMaN]

IF, and let me stress the word IF - I'd at least have the Goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around.

Cheers,
Russ

[ninerbj]

LMAO!!!

[AsSiMiLaTeD]

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!

[PolkWannabie]

Originally posted by RuSsMaN
... common courtesy to give him a reach-around ... Full Metal Jacket ...

[PolkWannabie]

Originally posted by RuSsMaN
Been a little while since we had a nice, offensive post ... You must've missed this thread ... http://clubpolk.polkaudio.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19553

[amulford]

Originally posted by George Grand
Not ME you dunderhead. I don't like to be picked on. Somebody else. A name picked at random............... from this list.

a. Spyderman
b. Scott T.
c. Bullwinkle


George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

Well, Scott and Bulltinkle are gone... I'll choose Spydie...

All pile on the spyder!!!!

[George Grand]

$5 says he rides in the car with his head out the window!

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[George Grand]

Okay, it's been a couple minutes since I said that. I'm not getting the warm glow I normally get when I torment someone "for no good reason."

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[Sami]

...

[F1nut]

I got a warm glow from it.

[George Grand]

Remember that warm glow I shot you when your birthday rolls around Jesse!

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[F1nut]

Will do!

[amulford]

He probably has his tongue hanging out, too!

[George Grand]

Okay, I'm not hip. What does just the piece of paper post mean? Like above, reporting in from Tejas.

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[F1nut]

The paper icon shows up if no other icon is selected. The 3 dots he posted are, I believe, his attempt to edit his post.

[George Grand]

I am SO easily confused.

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[Zen Dragon]

Welcome to America.
State of confusion is the 51st state...large population...Low taxes

[brettw22]

Originally posted by George Grand
Remember that warm glow I shot you when your birthday rolls around Jesse! Considering the topic of this thread, if I were you boys, I'd not make mention of any warm glow's being shot anywhere........;)

[danger boy]

Hey Russy,

was that a cut and paste job? or did you come up with that yourself? It's funny stuff.

I do have to say though.. if you did come up with that on your own.. you may have a future in writing gay porn. :p

I'm just amazed how many manly men in here at so up on their gay pop culture. :eek:

have a good weekend guys

[RuSsMaN]

Eh it was all in good fun, and no, that is not my original work (and it isn't GG's either).

It's good to shoot the wheels off every now and then.

Cheers,
Rooster

[HBombToo]

Originally posted by RuSsMaN


Cheers,
Rooster

MY BUDDIES BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HBomb:D

[hotwheelman]

Originally posted by Vr3MxStyler2k3
Cheerwine is a soft drink only available in NC, SC, GA

You forgot about Tn. sid:D

[F1nut]

Where's the Rooster?

[polrbehr]

Where's the Rooster?


Probably hangin' with all the other long-lost Polkies... I won't mention any names, but there are quite a few guys who haven't posted in many months, maybe all the BS got to be too much? Just speculating here, no big deal.

[sda2mike]

sda effect

[amulford]

Last I heard he was peddlin hifi to the junkies on the corner downtown. He hides his stash in his melon, the cops would never find it without a full fledged search team...

[jon s]

I miss those DVD Rip ads....

[pitdogg2]

Where's the Rooster?

where's the Rabbit?

[txcoastal1]

where's the Rabbit?

In the rabbit hole hording my audio funds...hehehe and he's got ur money too

[ken brydson]

Where's the Rooster?

Seems to have lost the CP love. I see him all the time on FB. A couple weeks ago he mentioned parting ways as an employee of Polk.

[txcoastal1]

I'm sure Russ will poke his head in at LSAF (he better or I'll be knockin' on his door), I chat with him periodically

Skip may have touched base with him

[DSkip]

I'm sure Russ will poke his head in at LSAF (he better or I'll be knockin' on his door), I chat with him periodically

Skip may have touched base with him

Not lately. Haven't seen him since around the beginning of the year. I don't see him not making an appearance to LSAF. Free booze? You know he's there.