2005 Darwin Award Winners

[F1nut]

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here then, are the glorious 2005 winners.

Darwin Award Winner:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....


And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you
money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head
at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief
on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made
of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

[Tour2ma]

LOL... Pretty good crop this year...

[Shizelbs]

I content that #4 is actually pretty clever. Ballsy, stupid, and clever.

[Toxis]

I love the Darwin Awards!!!

[AsSiMiLaTeD]

I think #6 should have been the winner...

[Jstas]

Nothing new here...


Originally posted by F1nut
Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here then, are the glorious 2005 winners.

Darwin Award Winner:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

This was in the Darwin Awards probably 4-5 years ago and at that time it was a guy in Texas. I have also seen a hard copy of a Darwin Awards from about 1993 that my father had hanging up at his desk at work where this same story involved some poor schmuck in Hoboken, NJ.


Originally posted by F1nut

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.

This was in the Darwin awards twice that I can remember. I got the first email Darwin Awards I even reciever in 1997 and this story was there involving a guy from Germany. A few years later, someone at school passed around another one which involved some guy in Canada.


Originally posted by F1nut

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

This was in the Darwin awards two years ago involving a guy in Philly. It was there the year before involving a guy in Buffalo and then like 2 years before that it involved a guy in Boston and a 2nd set came out the same year where the location was Washington D.C. The only real shame is that this actually happened in Philadelphia 2 or 3 years ago, I can't remember exactly. All I remember is that we had a massive snowfall that dropped something like 20 inches on the area.


Originally posted by F1nut

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
days.

This happend last year in Venezuela last year and South Africa two years before that.


Originally posted by F1nut

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

This happened 3 years ago in England. That's the only other Darwin appearance that I can remember


Originally posted by F1nut

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you
money, is a crime committed?)

This one doesn't seem to leave the south and has been purported to have happened in Florida, Texas and Georgia too.


Originally posted by F1nut

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head
at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief
on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made
of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

This actually happened and there is an actual video tape. The video has actually been on World's Wildest Police Videos and several other shows of the sort. The date I remember seeing on the video was in the late 80's like 88 or 89 and it is most defintly NOT from 2004 or 2005.


Originally posted by F1nut

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

I have seen this one more times as an email joke than a Darwin Award winner but I did see it a couple of times before.


Originally posted by F1nut

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.

Saw this one as an honorable mention last year and was on the list two year before it.


Originally posted by F1nut

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Defintly not a new one. This story has been around as long as RV's with built-in toilets have been on the market. On top of that, the sewage port is clearly marked sewage, is not even the same physical size as the fuel port AND if one was to open said sewage port, one would quickly realize without further inspection beyond getting a clear whiff that this was CLEARLY NOT the fuel tank. It's bogus just like every other Darwin Award.

Wanna see for yourself? Check out these books:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=ox7oxOSBWf&isbn=0452283442&itm=1

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=ox7oxOSBWf&isbn=0452284015&itm=2

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=ox7oxOSBWf&isbn=0452285720&itm=3

Also, check out this wonderful site called: http://www.snopes.com and virtually any urban legend or email myth can be found to true or false there.

[billbillw]

Originally posted by Polkmaniac
I think #6 should have been the winner...

The winner has to die in the process. Hence the term Darwin. He eliminated himself from the gene pool. Usually most of the honorable mentions die as well. Not this year I guess.

Check out www.darwinawards.com

[gmorris]

Jstas, how the hell do you know all that? I'm not doubting or disputing you, just wondering how you knew that.

[PolkThug]

Originally posted by gmorris
Jstas, how the hell do you know all that? I'm not doubting or disputing you, just wondering how you knew that.

snopes.com is the best place to go for debunking chain letters and pics.

[F1nut]

Geez John, if I knew you didn't have a life I would have included you on the list. :rolleyes:

Maybe from now on I'll put a disclaimer on anything I post when it's from a email that someone sent to me that I found humorous, but didn't search the net to verify the facts because I've got better things to do.

[faster100]

This maybe be from when he posted his personal account of the white van man incident that you uncovered to be on the internet already :D

Man that guy can rant and write, shit man take a breath its friday..... and why would you research each and every account listed... I have never seen any of them and think they were all funny and me and jesse arent even that close on the forum.. :) so no sides here...

[Thom]

I think his point was that if it isn't true, it isn't all that funny...

[F1nut]

Trust me, that was NOT his point.

[Tour2ma]

Waaaaaaaa...

[Jstas]

Ok, ok, stop crying. The point was that even if it isn't true it might still be funny (although I agree with Thom) but the simple fact is that these are tired and old stories that have been passed around for decades. They aren't funny anymore because it's just rehashed old crap.

How do I know? Not only have I been receiving Darwin Awards electronically and in hardcopy since my bulletin board days but I own the books I posted and I can promise you that these stories are in those books and they have been in my possesion for at least three years so they are at least that old. Many of the stories in these books pre-date the Darwin Awards which started circulating around 1992-1993 time frame. So the Darwin Awards stories were old hat when the Darwin Awards started circulating.

It's not a personal vendetta nor is it about anything concerning any interaction in the past. If any of you think I would waste my time plotting against you well, go out and get a life because I really don't care and I do not have a hidden agenda. In other words, get over yourself.

[faster100]

who else would post a mile long post about every thing on that list who wasnt obsessed to some degree? Just simply say, these are old stories
:rolleyes:

This forum is made up on many vendetta's from various peoples.... don't exclude yourself now.. :D


I still think they are funny, and i never heard One of them.

[Jstas]

I'm not obsessed. I just don't appreciate being called a liar by some half-baked twit with loose recollections presented as facts. I refuse to post anything without overwhelming evidence to back up my statements. My post itself was not long-winded at all. Infact, my post, minus the quotes, was a mere 24 lines long and that included URLs. I merely copied every story so it was absolutly clear as to what I was referencing so that no one could mis-construe my statements.

It is just unfortunate that F1nut made the post given the recent history. What is even more unfortunate is that even though you have said in the past you would stay away from me and would appreciate it if I would do the same, you are still trying to instigate a conflict. Get over yourself and accept the fact that you have it wrong and just because you view the forum one way doesn't mean the rest of us do. You have a unique perspective that not many others here share.

[Tour2ma]

It's 32 lines long on my screen... 37, if you count blanks...

[AsSiMiLaTeD]

Originally posted by faster100
This maybe be from when he posted his personal account of the white van man incident that you uncovered to be on the internet already :D

What's that all about??

[TroyD]

<< In my best Jim Carey voice >>

Well, ALLRIGHTY then....

BDT

[faster100]

John , get "OVER" yourself.. you long winded fool. all this over jesse posting some funny shit.. Nah i never agreed to leave you alone, your to damm amuseing to leave alone. Ive been on the rather quiet and calm side lately if i do say so myself... wanna start up again? :D

[TroyD]

Originally posted by faster100
... wanna start up again? :D

Let's not and say we did.....

BDT

[faster100]

LOL, I should have better things to do... but jstas just calls for attention with his rants.... This is not my fight so i'm outta here...

[George Grand]

Thanks for the laughs Jesse.

George

[MacLeod]

I got a chuckle out of those, especially #6. :D

[BlueMDPicker]

:p

[Mazeroth]

I don't believe number 4.

You tell me a bus full of regular folks wouldn't have first started questioning and yelling at the bus driver for not going to their destination? Next, when they did get there, they would all tell the mental hospital employees what did happen. If that wouldn't have worked, you know damn well they would have used physical force to not be taken inside. Also, tell me the workers couldn't tell the 20 "patients" weren't abnormal? Give me a break. :rolleyes:

Other than that, good ones!

[F1nut]

Originally posted by Jstas

It is just unfortunate that F1nut made the post given the recent history.

Huh??? :rolleyes:

[audiobliss]

Man, that's hilarious (true or not)!!! I think 6 was the best, being closely followed by 9.

ROFL

[polksda]

F1Nut's initial post was humorous, nothing wrong with it.

Jstas's post debunking them was informative, nothing wrong with it.

The personal shit that followed was simply paranoid and unnecessary.

Nice.

[shack]

Originally posted by polksda
F1Nut's initial post was humorous, nothing wrong with it.

Jstas's post debunking them was informative, nothing wrong with it.

The personal shit that followed was simply paranoid and unnecessary.

Nice.
Thanks Dr. Phil....I mean polksda... I was confused and now it is all so clear...:rolleyes:

[RuSsMaN]

DING! Fries are done.

[hotwheelman]

Originally posted by RuSsMaN
DING! Fries are done.


Cheese on mine please.:D

[Ron-P]

This women may just qualify...


BRUSSELS (Reuters) - An inebriated Belgian woman died in a freak accident when she ended up beneath a heavy grave stone at a cemetery, local news agency Belga said Wednesday.

The 33-year-old was on her way home from a bar in the Belgian town of Pulle in the early hours of Saturday when she took a short cut through the cemetery.

But she urgently needed to relieve herself and crouched down between two gravestones. As she lost her balance, she grabbed one of the stones which gave way and landed on top of her.

The public prosecutor's office said she died of suffocation as she was unable to lift the heavy stone.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050907/od_nm/belgium_cemetery_dc

[MacLeod]

What a way to go. Just goes to show, you should always wear clean underwear!

[george daniel]

:D Thanks F 1, I needed that to start my day, I think that Jesse my be fueling the plane, guys in the tower better keep their heads down. On the serious side,, I have an opportunity to buy an A. I. tube pre(modulas 1), plan to use it to power 1'cs with faster's parasound 1200, (450.00) for the pre, since I'm new to tubes, any advice would be greatly appreciated.Thanks in advance

[beardog03]

okay guy`s...

what`s the weather like back there..?

need to know what (how) to pack..

It`s almost time...!!!!!!!!!!

[TheReaper]

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
This should only qualify, if she shot him. Everyone else knows to double-park the space they're shoveling!

[ND13]

[QUOTE= I have an opportunity to buy an A. I. tube pre(modulas 1), plan to use it to power 1'cs with faster's parasound 1200, (450.00) for the pre, since I'm new to tubes, any advice would be greatly appreciated.Thanks in advance[/QUOTE]

Yeah, buy it!!! :D

[george daniel]

:) Big thanks,, I will probabally be asking you guys about specific tubes,after I get it,, thanks again for your reply. I love those little smiley things :)

[F1nut]

George, ya gotta start somewhere and that one will get ya going!

Robert, low 80's in the day, mid 60's at night. Damn near perfect weather.

[beardog03]

wooohooo..!!

sorry `bout the derailment of your thread fellas,

my bad

Carry on ...