Micah Cohen
06-15-2005, 10:40 PM
Yep, I'm back, bay-bee. And I have a thing or two to say.
First of all, I just watched this movie, IN GOOD COMPANY, with that guy from "The 70s Show" and Scarlett Johansson. Aside from the fact that this movie sucked, that the director botched every opportunity to show the beautiful Ms Johansson ("Scar" to her friends) in her best light, and that this "70s Show" guy will hopefully have a very short film career, I must say that this was the second movie in the last short while that has completely turned me off... With its soundtrack.
The soundtrack to this movie is kick-out-the-jam-packed with this whiney, new agey, retro guitar-singer David Gray-type GARBAGE. Seems to be really deep and thoughtful, emotional even, but in reality is nonsensical.
F'rinstance: "Iron & Wine" is the name of one of the "artists" on the soundtrack. This is, I guess, a better name for a musical group than, say, "System Of A Down." What the EFF is a system of a down? Anyone know? If not, if you do not know what their name MEANS, then you should not be listening to this music; it's a put-on, and they are making money off you and you don't even realize it. Anyway, Iron & Wine, right? Here's a lyric snippet. Imagine it sung in a plaintive, whiney, white guy with no soul voice: "There are names across the sea, only now I do believe..."
Huh? Here's another snippet of genius: "I'll keep stealing, breathing her..." Huh?
So, the director of IN GOOD COMPANY thinks he's keen and hip, and plays these boring, anti-soulful songs, with these nonsensical nothing stream-of-unconsciousness lyrics, in moments of the film when the actors looks pensive and thoughtful. We viewers are supposed to think, "Hmmm, let me pay attention to this sensitively sung song and I will get some insight into what the characters are thinking and feeling." And then you strain to get these lyrics... "The juniper bends, as if you were listening..." (All lyrics, by the way, are copyrighted by Iron & Wine, in case you were feeling like stealing them, yo.)
The lyrics have nothing at all to do with the film's images. At all. In fact, they have nothing to do with anything approximating good music.
Let's switch gears now, hang on, and discuss another recent movie whose soundtrack utterly bored me and made me dispair for today's musically inclined sensitive teens: GARDEN STATE.
The Cary Brothers. They have a song called "Blue Eyes" on the GARDEN STATE soundtrack. I choose it, out of a selection of boring, unmusical, whiney, soul-less so-called music on this soundtrack, because it features the incredible lyrics: "Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand, I can help you to stand..."
This songwriting genius uses the word "fess" in his lyrics
How bad is this supposedly hipster-approved music? It's SO BAD that halfway thru the effing GARDEN STATE movie, when the soundtrack suddenly shouts out, showing its GRADUATE, with some Simon & Garfunkel, you think, "WHOA! Simon and Garfunkel are GENIUSES! They are GREAT!" That's how BAD the music is in this movie. So bad, that Simon & Garfunkel sound good. And make no mistake: Simon & Garfunkel suck. They have tricked us in the past, but no more. I don't care that I weep when I listen to "Rhythm Of The Saints," Paul Simon's music is crappy, boring, Beatles retread. But it's frigging amazing compared to the other crapola on this soundtrack -- Nick Drake, Bonnie Sommerville, Remy Zero... Who the hell are these soulless freaks?!
If you are reading this and you are about 15 years old, you may still have a chance. Never ever listen to anything by these so-called musical artists. Eschew "Nick Drake." Avoid "Iron & Wine." Shun "The Cary Brothers." Abstain from "Colin Hay." Do not watch the movies that all your friends are watching, thinking that they are hip for their next-day-in-class discussions about the finer points of GARDEN STATE and IN GOOD COMPANY. There are no finer points. Don't be conned by hipsters.
I have two words for you: LED ZEPPELIN.
What kind of word is "fess"?!
MC
First of all, I just watched this movie, IN GOOD COMPANY, with that guy from "The 70s Show" and Scarlett Johansson. Aside from the fact that this movie sucked, that the director botched every opportunity to show the beautiful Ms Johansson ("Scar" to her friends) in her best light, and that this "70s Show" guy will hopefully have a very short film career, I must say that this was the second movie in the last short while that has completely turned me off... With its soundtrack.
The soundtrack to this movie is kick-out-the-jam-packed with this whiney, new agey, retro guitar-singer David Gray-type GARBAGE. Seems to be really deep and thoughtful, emotional even, but in reality is nonsensical.
F'rinstance: "Iron & Wine" is the name of one of the "artists" on the soundtrack. This is, I guess, a better name for a musical group than, say, "System Of A Down." What the EFF is a system of a down? Anyone know? If not, if you do not know what their name MEANS, then you should not be listening to this music; it's a put-on, and they are making money off you and you don't even realize it. Anyway, Iron & Wine, right? Here's a lyric snippet. Imagine it sung in a plaintive, whiney, white guy with no soul voice: "There are names across the sea, only now I do believe..."
Huh? Here's another snippet of genius: "I'll keep stealing, breathing her..." Huh?
So, the director of IN GOOD COMPANY thinks he's keen and hip, and plays these boring, anti-soulful songs, with these nonsensical nothing stream-of-unconsciousness lyrics, in moments of the film when the actors looks pensive and thoughtful. We viewers are supposed to think, "Hmmm, let me pay attention to this sensitively sung song and I will get some insight into what the characters are thinking and feeling." And then you strain to get these lyrics... "The juniper bends, as if you were listening..." (All lyrics, by the way, are copyrighted by Iron & Wine, in case you were feeling like stealing them, yo.)
The lyrics have nothing at all to do with the film's images. At all. In fact, they have nothing to do with anything approximating good music.
Let's switch gears now, hang on, and discuss another recent movie whose soundtrack utterly bored me and made me dispair for today's musically inclined sensitive teens: GARDEN STATE.
The Cary Brothers. They have a song called "Blue Eyes" on the GARDEN STATE soundtrack. I choose it, out of a selection of boring, unmusical, whiney, soul-less so-called music on this soundtrack, because it features the incredible lyrics: "Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand, I can help you to stand..."
This songwriting genius uses the word "fess" in his lyrics
How bad is this supposedly hipster-approved music? It's SO BAD that halfway thru the effing GARDEN STATE movie, when the soundtrack suddenly shouts out, showing its GRADUATE, with some Simon & Garfunkel, you think, "WHOA! Simon and Garfunkel are GENIUSES! They are GREAT!" That's how BAD the music is in this movie. So bad, that Simon & Garfunkel sound good. And make no mistake: Simon & Garfunkel suck. They have tricked us in the past, but no more. I don't care that I weep when I listen to "Rhythm Of The Saints," Paul Simon's music is crappy, boring, Beatles retread. But it's frigging amazing compared to the other crapola on this soundtrack -- Nick Drake, Bonnie Sommerville, Remy Zero... Who the hell are these soulless freaks?!
If you are reading this and you are about 15 years old, you may still have a chance. Never ever listen to anything by these so-called musical artists. Eschew "Nick Drake." Avoid "Iron & Wine." Shun "The Cary Brothers." Abstain from "Colin Hay." Do not watch the movies that all your friends are watching, thinking that they are hip for their next-day-in-class discussions about the finer points of GARDEN STATE and IN GOOD COMPANY. There are no finer points. Don't be conned by hipsters.
I have two words for you: LED ZEPPELIN.
What kind of word is "fess"?!
MC