Bloodrayne

[MacLeod]

I rented this tonight and was looking forward to seeing it. Im a big fan of the games and although I know Hollywood refuses to make a decent movie out of a game and knew this would be a sub par film I figured it would still be worth the rental. Boy was I wrong.

This is without a doubt the WORST movie EVER MADE!

The acting is horrible, the story line is laughable, the action scenes are the worst in history with Monty Python'esque blood and as usual it bears virtually no resemblance to the game.

I mean I like a good B film as much as the next guy but even I was thinking this is a horrible movie 5 minutes into it!

I didnt even finish it. I just sat thru the most ridiculous action sequence Ive ever seen and could stand no more. Less than an hour into it I turn it off.

Avoid this steaming pile of **** on film at all costs. Its not even worth watching once it comes out on The Sci-Fi Channel.

0 out of 10

[Demiurge]

What did you expect from the director of 'House of the Dead'?

He's probably the worst director to ever make films. Consequently the people that funded him and bought his steaming pile of **** sandwhich are even worse. :D

[millerman 3732]

i cut off about half way through, horrible movie, skip this one guys!

[wingnut4772]

Is it worse than Stealth?

[MacLeod]

It is the worst movie EVER! And whats even worse is that it has some names in it! Michael Madsen and Ben Kinglsey!

During the big fight scene at a monestary, I kept expecting King Aurthur to come riding in Monty Python style! It looked that fake and ridiculous!

[wingnut4772]

I kind of almost want to see it now:D

[Schris22]

hey stealth actually had some cool special effects and sound, action scenes.

On the right note, I looked at this one at blockbuster the other day...then just kinda mosied on by...

Chris

[PolkThug]

5%! lol

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/bloodrayne/

[MacLeod]

Like I said. The worst movie ever!

How does "Toilet Boll" keep getting to make movies?!? This guy should be sweeping the floors or getting coffee or anything other than directing!

This couldve been a really cool movie. Somebody revoke this guys green card already!

[jdhdiggs]

Damn, when this is the best review, its pretty sad:


"I did a couple of "short takes" on this new disasterpiece for a couple of different publications; here, for the first time, I've amalgamated them into one piece.

Despite a track record of some of the worst movies ever created, “Dr.” Uwe Boll (House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark) somehow continues to obtain the movie rights to popular video games and film them on the cheap. His latest, Bloodrayne, is based on a game that pits a vampire secret agent against mutant-manufacturing Nazis; Boll and screenwriter Guinevere Turner (American Psycho) have decided to make his movie a prequel set in medieval times.

By “medieval times,” of course, we mean that particular era of European history that goes unmentioned in most history books, when Transylvanians had either American accents or laughably fake English ones, noblemen dressed like either Mozart or King Charles II, and every woman had free access to breast implants. Vampire kings ruled the land, and some of them were stupid enough to install windows in their castles despite the fact that sunlight is absolutely fatal to them. And a human-vampire hybrid called a Dampir, resembling an impossibly hot fashion model (Kristanna “The Terminatrix” Loken), was able to kick all kinds of ass, yet inexplicably managed to be held captive by an obese circus ringmaster for years.

Boll does all his casting at the last minute, a technique that enables him to snag big-name actors without giving them much time to think things over. Here, he has obtained Michael Madsen, Ben Kingsley, Billy Zane, Udo Kier, Meat Loaf, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Pare, and Matt Davis, not all of whom seem fully in on the joke. Madsen sports a mullet, Kingsley looks like Salieri, Rodriguez pathetically attempts an English accent, Meat Loaf wears a powdered wig, blood gushes from slashed throats, and the Terminatrix shows her breasts. Honestly, what more do you want from a medieval vampire movie?

Throats are slit, bosoms are bared, and though the plot makes no sense, the film is technically competent, which is a first for Dr. Boll. His name strikes fear into the hearts of many moviegoers, but he is gradually getting slightly better, having apparently learned, at long last, the importance of both good lighting and pointing the camera at the actors. The production values found in Romania are nice, and the cast are enjoyably goofy, some apparently without realizing it (Billy Zane appears to be in a completely different movie, playing a character who's elaborately set up with no pay-off whatsoever). It’d be a stretch to call the movie good, but at least it’s fun-bad.
"

[Nelson57]

I normally donate movies I know I'm not going to watch any more to the local library, or give them to friends. This one I put in the garbage. I'm ready to file a class action lawsuit for fraud.

[jdhdiggs]

Like I said. The worst movie ever!

How does "Toilet Boll" keep getting to make movies?!? This guy should be sweeping the floors or getting coffee or anything other than directing!

This couldve been a really cool movie. Somebody revoke this guys green card already!

hehe, he got another one: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460780/

[zombie boy 2000]

surely you jest....

[MacLeod]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Not Jason Statham! I love that dude and hate to see him do something like this.

God help us.

[Demiurge]

Yeah, there are a lot of good actors in that movie...WTF. I like Jason Statham too. That's surprising. Oh well....

[MacLeod]

No more suprising than Sir Ben Kingsley being in Bloodrayne!

Whats even funnier is that he was on The Soprano's not too long ago with Chris trying to get him to appear in his low buget cheese horror flick and he was trying everything he could to get out of it......now I know why...cause he was already in THIS STUPID CHEESE MOVIE!

[P.HUNT]

I agree one of the worst movies ever!!
But the boobies were wonderfull!

[millerman 3732]

When I watched I felt like all these big actors signed on to do what they thought was a pretty cool movie and then when they found out how lame it was they just deciced they didn't care any more and half-assed all there parts like they didn't really want to be in the film. But hey, how about that Meat Loaf, I think he's makin a come back boys!

[mrbigbluelight]

This review from a couple of guys I know:

"God, that movie sucked. Plenty of titties, though".

I guess it does have some redeeming value.

Worse movie ever made, though ? Lest we forget:


Meryl Streep


















The French Lieutenant's Woman


....oh......the humanity. :(

[Ron-P]

This is without a doubt the WORST movie EVER MADE!

Just watching the trailer would tell you this. You don't need to watch it to find out.