Never buy a House (with someone else!)

[wingnut4772]

4343

[zombie boy 2000]

I'd hate to add salt to the wound, but that's the first time I've seen your system pics......

and that sucks your HT has been sent to solitary:D

UNBELIEVABLE


(as an aside, the wife and I are scheduled to look at two homes this evening):p

[wingnut4772]

I'd hate to add salt to the wound, but that's the first time I've seen your system pics......

and that sucks your HT has been sent to solitary:D

UNBELIEVABLE


(as an aside, the wife and I are scheduled to look at two homes this evening):p

Thanks. They are only in boxes as I don't want any 'harm' to come to them.

Good luck with the house hunting ;) . When I buy my new place it is going to have a larger room with better acoustics for HT or I won't buy it at all. that makes me a little excited:o Something to look forward to I guess.

[Skynut]

Force him to buy you out.
Offer to let him keep the house at the inflated price he claims it is worth and have him pay you half of the difference in price over what the two of you paid.
If not plant some dope on him and send him up the river. :D j/k

[wingnut4772]

I made that offer but he can't carry this house buy himself. The MTG is insane.

[dkg999]

Buying a house with another person is not necessarily bad, however doing it as an emotional (ie I love you and nothing will go wrong) decision versus a business decision is bad. Alot of what you are going through should of been worked out up front and put in place as a signed/notorized agreement between you. Now you are trying to do this after the deal has done gone south, and that's not a good place to be.

I would total up what you both have invested in the property, down payment plus improvements, that will be included in the sale. Those amounts will determine the ratio of equity, profit, or loss. You also can't ignore the value of your credit rating and the timely house payments on the bum's credit rating. Since the payments are being reported in both your names, his credit rating should of improved at your expense.

If he wants to keep the house, based on the above, you can work out what your current equity is, and what he needs to come up with to buy you out. Because this isn't a divorce, you also have some property ownership rights you wouldn't have in a divorce. You will probably need an attorney to excersize your right to rent your part of the property, put liens against the property, etc. The other option is to continue to live there and make the bum's life a living hell! You're not married, you are a joint property owner, unless he can prove violence and that he is in danger (even though he is!), he can't get you out of there. The male of the species won't tolerate this situation for long. What you don't want to do is leave and have him do a legal maneuver claiming you abandoned the property.

I would opt for the townhome. Make sure you check out how much wall is in common with the adjoining unit, how that wall is constructed, and where the wall in common is in relation to where your HT would be. A lot of newer townhomes use the garage area as the wall in common, so noise is not much of an issue if you have the windows shut and the a/c on. Doug.

[ohskigod]

he wants an inflated amount in order to pocket a certain amount (i.e. after the mortgage is paid off) I wouldnt move out of that house until he agrees to sell in fair market. give up your half of the $ for him to get more? HELL NO! he can scratch &ss. Simple closing procedure, house sells for a price, you each get half. palin and simple. if he doesnt like the amnount he gets, let him be the one that says no sale, not you.

[unc2701]

Too bad townhouses there aren't like they are around here- usually you get a very large basement room that's perfect for HT. There you get water if you dig a hole more than 3 feet deep.

Still, good luck selling!

Oh, and start building your paper trail NOW! Find proof of everything you put into the place and if you really want to make it fun shred anythingyou can find re: him putting money into it.

[steveinaz]

Even the townhouse down here though I am lookin at about 300 to 350K!:eek:



Darla
If you're handy, have a real estate agent run the foreclosures list for you. Some of these just need minor repair, paint and new flooring and are typically cheap. It'll also give you a jump start on some equity. Not to mention the pride in knowing you refurbed the place yourself.

[wingnut4772]

The other option is to continue to live there and make the bum's life a living hell! You're not married, you are a joint property owner, unless he can prove violence and that he is in danger (even though he is!), he can't get you out of there.

That may be an option.

[TroyD]

Invite F1Nut over an afternoon. He seems to be a big hit with the 'not so bright' crowd.

BDT

[dkg999]

If you can, get some legal advice. I'm not sure what FL law is, however in some states a joint property owner that moves out can fall under an "abandonment" statute, and that would not be a good thing in your case. Also, read your mortgage legaleeze, if you are the primary borrower it may state that you must maintain the property as your residence. There may be a few things you can leverage to get your way.

If I remember right you are an LEO, so you interact with DA's and prosecuters, who have lawyer networks they can tap into. I would see if one of them has an attorney friend you could spend an hour with to get some good advice. Good Luck!

[steveinaz]

That may be an option.

I don't think staying there is a good option--if you don't mind me saying so. These things usually turn sour....

[reeltrouble1]

Sorry to hear it just did not work out Wing.

Good Luck to you.

RT1

[madmax]

I am worried about the townhouse idea because of my HT. It's not exactly HT in a box and I want to be able to enjoy it fully without having my co-workers :p come to my house because the neighbors complain..

Townhouses and HT's probably don't mix very well. You would always be at the mercy of your neighbors. Even single family homes which are within a 100' of each other can be problematic. Maybe you could get some dirt on the people on both sides before you buy a townhouse, that might work at keeping them in line. :D

Personally, I would take a single family home in a lesser neighborhood. Preferably with some land between you and the next neighbor.
madmax

[jdhdiggs]

I would not stay there and make his life a living hell. That would be bad for both of you and end up costing you a lot of time and anguish, let alone money (or worse: jobs, prison time, etc... if things really got out of hand). Get expert advice from lawyers in your networks and go from there.

[tonyb]

Live and learn my friend.Sorry about your situation.As a former realty guy,I can say go for the single family home.They tend to go up in value faster than all the others....townhomes,condo's.Go into nicer area's and find a house that needs work,sweat equity is a good thing.I kind of like the idea of sticking some weed in his pocket and sending him up the river.Get some legal
advice on the sale of the house.Any common law marriage laws in your state?
Don't screw up your credit rateing in the process of dealing with the asshole.
Good luck to you and we know you will be much happier in the long run.:)

[Polkersince85]

It's just like crossing the street: Stop, Look, and Listen; then proceed with caution to avoid getting run over.

[cheddar]

Buy old in a good neighborhood. New houses are great, but you'll get the least amount of bang for your buck. Even if you're not handy, you can learn. Demo and power tools are great for getting out all the rage at your raw deal, and I'm sure there are buddies in your department that will work for beer...:D.

[Midnite Mick]

Whatever you decide to do, make your long term well being priority number one. Good luck.

Mike

[wingnut4772]

Thanks guys. He is really trying. He told me he is going to go to counseling and he is sorry..he loves me blah blah blah. That's all I hear ..blah.

[dkg999]

Faced with loss of his castle, and his meal-ticket, the male of the species always decides to play the "love" card. Grovel until he can come up with plan B. Hopefully he will really take this seriously. Wishing you all the luck in the world with this one :)

[wingnut4772]

I told him that is what he said last time and nothing changed. He actually has an appt Monday for the therapist. Blah blah blah

[brettw22]

Darla, in the end is it worth it if you have to continually repeat this pattern? I'd say cut your losses (lose the loser) and move on by doing whatever you need to do to get out of the house and moved somewhere else.

[Frank Z]

That's all I hear ..blah.
Time for an upgrade!!:D

Good luck, hope everything works out for ya.

[wingnut4772]

Darla, in the end is it worth it if you have to continually repeat this pattern? I'd say cut your losses (lose the loser) and move on by doing whatever you need to do to get out of the house and moved somewhere else.
I agree. Too little too late.

[schwarcw]

I'm sorry to hear of your woes Darla. The good news is that you'll be better off in the long run. The bad news is it could take some time and get ugly. Don't lose sight of the end game: to be happy:) No matter what, you will get there. Good luck!

[danger boy]

good luck Darla. I don't have any other advice than hasn't already been given out.

sorry you have to go thru this. Sometimes we have to go thru unpleasant time to get to the better times.. at some point.. this will all be behind you.

best of luck.

[F1nut]

Invite F1Nut over an afternoon. He seems to be a big hit with the 'not so bright' crowd.

BDT

Hehe......:D

[wingnut4772]

Guys. I am so messed up with this situation....AND I am thoroughly confused. I am sitting here in my beautiful back yard by the pool with my dogs and really wondering if I should give this another shot.....Also...I have a slight confession to make which may put a different spin on things and I hope that you guys don't get PO'd at me but in the interest of keeping things simple on this board and avoiding any hate (like I have seen some here receive)I said that the ass was a he when it's really...well not. It's a chick.

[jdhdiggs]

I don't know that the revelation changes anything other than the fact the fights would be worse and last longer in that women tend to be more emotional and for a longer time. I would try to find a way out. This seems to be a repeated pattern in your relationship. Staying together for $$$ or convienance isn't what will make you happy. Would you still want to be with this person if you were living seperately? That should be your answer.

[wingnut4772]

I think that we would actually get along if we were living separately. We just bought this house too soon. Even though we have known each other since high school some (mumble mumble) years ago.

[TroyD]

For moi, the only thing it changes is I'd add in make sure that you get all of your clothes back as well.

Fundamentally though, the concept is still the same.

BDT

[wingnut4772]

For moi, the only thing it changes is I'd add in make sure that you get all of your clothes back as well.

Fundamentally though, the concept is still the same.

BDT

:D :D :D we are the same size 8.

[Holydoc]

Guys. I am so messed up with this situation....AND I am thoroughly confused. ...in the interest of keeping things simple ...

When it comes to relationships, nothing is ever simple. Sometimes the best thing is to push away, take a breath, and try it on your own. Sometimes it is best to hold on, hold your breath, and try again. None of us can tell you which is best. Sometimes even you will not know which is best.

The simple fact is that you have to make that choice. It is your life, and you need to do what will make you happy. I think you realize from the responses in this thread that you are surrounded (in this community) with people who respect and support your opinions. I am sure you will see that no matter which choice you make, that respect and support will not change from us.

Best of luck in whatever decision you make. Just promise not to stop coming to this board and sharing your audio experiences! ;)

[wingnut4772]

Awww...thanks.:o It means a lot.

[Ricardo]

I think I said this the last time you were in a similar condition.
Act now; do whatever is necessary to free you from that relationship; it will be better for you in the long term. suffer a little now (even financially) and get a fresh start.

[PolkThug]

I told her that is what she said last time and nothing changed. She actually has an appt Monday for the therapist. Blah blah blah

You are her golden ticket to having a nice house. Cut your losses. I know this sucks but you won't make this same mistake again.

[danger boy]

confession is good for the soul.. :)

WTG! i don't think any different of you or your situation. I'm glad you feel that you found some support here. and are willing to share your situation with us. Whether it's audio related or something personal, we're glad you're here Darla.

AL

a chick huh? Damn Darla. JK.. :p


it's cool.

[wingnut4772]

You are her golden ticket to having a nice house. Cut your losses. I know this sucks but you won't make this same mistake again.

Well she actually makes more $$$ than I do (my credit is just better). She can qualify for a pretty kick house by herself even with the worse credit...and it's not horrible just not great so her interest rate would be a little higher.

She has told me she is so depressed and sorry and loves me etc. I am getting the cards, the flowers and the chocolates. Her family is even so upset because they love me. love us together ya da ya da ya da. And she has told me she will go to therapy religiously to work on her issues.

Her history is that she came from an abusive relationship and she still carries that with her. She is insanely jealous and possessive and just very insecure...even though she is a very attractive girl. Her ex and she use to get into fist fights ( not happening here!-ever! Then she would find her ass on the street with a nice restraining order!) But she crosses boundaries of respect that is just unnacceptable. The shrink concession is new for her- at least to go by herself. She did aquiesce to go to couples counseling which we did two or three times and that seemed to help a great deal.(for a bit) I am just wondering if I should see if she follows through. Maybe a written contract that if in 6 months things are still not acceptable to my satisfaction we sell the house no questions asked?

[TroyD]

Not to sound heartless but do you honestly think she wants to change because she wants to change or is she doing it to get what she wants in the short term?

Me? I'd see a pattern formning and ask myself if I am willing to continue with this cycle of behavior.


I'd also start labelling my cosmetics as well. :D
BDT

[danger boy]

ending a relationship is never easy.. and it's never fun. 6 months is a long time.
although we hope in our hearts that the person we love will change to our liking.. often times in the beginning they will do or say anything to keep you, their actions speak for them.

Meaning. I truely hope she does make those changes in her life for you and for herself. But keep in mind, old habits are heard to break. I'd hate for you to find yourself 6 months down the road wishing you had broken things off earlier.

No one here can tell you to end it.. that's something you have to do on your own. and only you know when that time will be.

BTW is she a coworker or your supervisor? I only ask because if she is and you break up.. she could make things tough for you at work.

[Ricardo]

Darla,

This is at least the third time that you two get in a similar situation, and she promises that things will change, etc (third time we know of....how many that you have not shared?)

As others said, it is just up to you to decide, but if it were me, I'd think that things will only get better for a while.....are you willing to put up with this over and over again?

[wingnut4772]

(sigh) I know. My friends are all telling me the same damn thing! I don't work with her. Thank God! It's just going to be so painful to sell the house and stressful to go through. I know that it will be delaying the inevitable though if I don't. I just don't want to put my HT in a townhouse! Waaaah!:(

[PolkThug]

It would be even more painful to go through another year or two of BS, then still having to sell the house.

[Skynut]

Thanks guys. He is really trying. He told me he is going to go to counseling and he is sorry..he loves me blah blah blah. That's all I hear ..blah.



Well she actually makes more $$$ than I do (my credit is just better). She can qualify for a pretty kick house by herself even with the worse credit...and it's not horrible just not great so her interest rate would be a little higher.

She has told me she is so depressed and sorry and loves me etc. I am getting the cards, the flowers and the chocolates. Her family is even so upset because they love me. love us together ya da ya da ya da. And she has told me she will go to therapy religiously to work on her issues.

Her history is that she came from an abusive relationship and she still carries that with her. She is insanely jealous and possessive and just very insecure...even though she is a very attractive girl. Her ex and she use to get into fist fights ( not happening here!-ever! Then she would find her ass on the street with a nice restraining order!) But she crosses boundaries of respect that is just unnacceptable. The shrink concession is new for her- at least to go by herself. She did aquiesce to go to couples counseling which we did two or three times and that seemed to help a great deal.(for a bit) I am just wondering if I should see if she follows through. Maybe a written contract that if in 6 months things are still not acceptable to my satisfaction we sell the house no questions asked?

Totally confused here.
Are we talking about a he or she?

[Demiurge]

You should probably read the whole thread! :p

[shack]

You should probably read the whole thread! :p

Read before you post? Now there's a concept!

[wingnut4772]

Confusion is the key word here.

[Demiurge]

All I can say is be honest with yourself about how you really feel, and then stick with that. It won't steer you wrong. I think you know what you need to do, but it's probably not what's easy to do. I just went through it not that long ago myself.

[wingnut4772]

I know that I really feel that I want to be by myself. I am just trying to avoid the ugliness and the loss of the whole thing but I have to face the truth. I just can't go back.

[dkg999]

Darla - you'll get no judgement from me! Well, except that girls with guns are really hot :D You can disregard my advice about how the male of the species will think and act, ain't got a clue on the female angle, and if I did I could actually keep a GF around!

Do what your heart tells you, and move forward. It's the second guessing and going back to the bucket for another drink of the poison koolaid that will mess you up. And I second the don't leave this forum comment! Doug.

[cfrizz]

Darla, this situation is NOT going to change! She has to get help for herself, she has to WANT to get help for herself. In reality regardless of what she promises, she doesn't really want help to change her life.

It might be a little ugly right now, but staying in an abusive situation whether emotional or physical when you know you should get out will be even uglier in the long run!

Darla, I'm sure you've covered your share of domestic disputes, I'm sure you've read papers on this kind of behavior. Does she have to go upside your head with a 2 x 4 before you follow your gut instincts?

Plenty of us have our home theaters in apts/condos/townhouses! Your HT is not worth your sanity/life!

[Grimster74]

SWEET, your more than welcome to come live with me as long as you bring your H/T gear with you;) . In all seriousness, I hope you get things worked out and if you need anything, give Polk a shout.

[cfrizz]

Doug, the truth is women respond in much the same way in this type if situation. I have family that is going through the same thing, & my advice to him is the same. GET OUT & GET OUT NOW!

[PhantomOG]

It seems to me that sometimes in situations like this, the giving of "one more chance" actually prevents the person from being serious about change. Knowingly or not, the thought that they can continually make the same mistake and be given another pass is there. Sometimes a break is the best choice, even if you still want to be with the person in the end.

Hope it all works out in the end and you don't lose out too much financially (and emotionally). :o

[wingnut4772]

I have a friend who is a MTG Broker and she told me that I could probably push getting a house in the 400K area so maybe my Ht can have a good home after all.

[Grimster74]

Guess my offer went down the drain:D . I can just picture it now, two Home Theaters rooms in one house, neighbors would just love me. Just trying to put a smile on your face.

[TroyD]

I have a friend who is a MTG Broker and she told me that I could probably push getting a house in the 400K area so maybe my Ht can have a good home after all.

I'm obviously in the wrong profession.

BDT

[Skynut]

You should probably read the whole thread! :p


OOps found it, my bad.

[F1nut]

I need a smoke.......

[TroyD]

Sicko...

BDT

[Ricardo]

I need a smoke.......


Then get one...or did you quit??

I am ashamed to say that after 7 months with not one cigarrete, I've been smoking again for close to three months.......and I love it (shame...)

[Polkersince85]

I have a friend who is a MTG Broker and she told me that I could probably push getting a house in the 400K area so maybe my Ht can have a good home after all.

Just some advice from a former (honest) broker. Be careful getting in over your head or you could lose it all. Many brokers will max you out and you'll never see daylight again. (HT in flea market to make next month's payment.)
I used to advise only 25% of you GROSS income should go to house payment. Good luck

[amulford]

Be careful with that, tke he^^ said. I see that crap all the time...

[jdhdiggs]

Yup, 25% is a good, rough guideline. I've also seen that the biggest house you should own would be 5X your gross as a rule of thumb which is a bit more than 25% assuming no $$$ down. I doubt you're making $80K as a cop unless you are well up in the ranks (or on the take ;) ).

[unc2701]

I've also seen that the biggest house you should own would be 5X your gross as a rule of thumb which is a bit more than 25% assuming no $$$ down.

Yeah, the 5x worked when the interest rates were down, but not so much anymore. Whatever you do, don't go over 33% including car payments, school debt, CC debt, etc. (4x your salary works out so that your payment is about 33% of your gross monthly assuming that you can get your mortgage at 6% interest)

I'm at 16% :) but it helps that the wife makes exactly what I do, no kids and the cars are paid for.

[schwarcw]

This is going to be a long thread.

[brettw22]

First of all, i almost feel like I wasted time creating my thread with scantily clad men......I was only doing it for y'alls pleasure, don'tcha know.....lol.

(s)he is sorry..(s)he loves me blah blah blah. That's all I hear ..blah.When your reaction to being told you're loved is "blah" that's all the answer you need. Good luck with things Darla......being single isn't such a bad thing.

[Midnite Mick]

being single isn't such a bad thing.

Agreed. And in many ways it is a good thing.

Your choice of course.......just don't stay for the wrong reasons.

All the Best,
Mike

[wingnut4772]

First of all, i almost feel like I wasted time creating my thread with scantily clad men......I was only doing it for y'alls pleasure, don'tcha know.....lol.


Who says I didn't enjoy them?;)

[brettw22]

Ya, well I was lying........it was for me too........lol......

[wingnut4772]

Yup, 25% is a good, rough guideline. I've also seen that the biggest house you should own would be 5X your gross as a rule of thumb which is a bit more than 25% assuming no $$$ down. I doubt you're making $80K as a cop unless you are well up in the ranks (or on the take ;) ).

You might be wrong there. ;) Being a cop in Miami Dade pays pretty darn well. Especially after you have been on for a while. Sprinkle in some court at $50.00 and hour (4 hour min) and a couple of OT gigs a month(again $50.00 per hour) and 80 is pretty easy to do. And I plan to take the Sgt. test next year. My good friend has been a Seargent for about 3 years and her base pay is 80k.

[shack]

Who says I didn't enjoy them?;)

This is getting too wierd....

First, your guy isn't a guy...he's a chick. So you must like chicks. But then you may enjoy looking at naked guys. Maybe you like both. Maybe YOU aren't a chick.

Maybe you are really a guy pretending to be a chick and your guy who isn't a guy but a chick is really a guy and you don't want us to know that he/she really isn't a she/he and are trying to confuse us. Well...If that is the case...it worked! I'm confused.

I don't think you're a cop either. :confused:

[wingnut4772]

This is getting too wierd....

First, your guy isn't a guy...he's a chick. So you must like chicks. But then you may enjoy looking at naked guys. Maybe you like both. Maybe YOU aren't a chick.

Maybe you are really a guy pretending to be a chick and your guy who isn't a guy but a chick is really a guy and you don't want us to know that he/she really isn't a she/he and are trying to confuse us. Well...If that is the case...it worked! I'm confused.

I don't think you're a cop either. :confused::D :D :D

You should try being me!



faster 100 knows I am a chick and a cop:D

[shack]

LIke anybody is going to beileve Cliff. :rolleyes:

I think you are some geek guy (IE probably) that works for Bose, lives in Thailand (with his mother and crazy uncle), and was sent here to reek havoc on Club Polk. Now that's believable!

[TroyD]

Yeah, but Cliff wouldn't know his ass from a hole in the ground so consider the source.

BDT

[wingnut4772]

:( :( :(

[shack]

:( :( :(

I'm sorry. It must be the Industrial Engineer referrence that made you mad. That was a little "over the top".

[wingnut4772]

I'm sorry. It must be the Industrial Engineer referrence that made you mad. That was a little "over the top".

Oh is that mad? I thought it was sad.

[Mike682]

You might be wrong there. ;) Being a cop in Miami Dade pays pretty darn well. Especially after you have been on for a while. Sprinkle in some court at $50.00 and hour (4 hour min) and a couple of OT gigs a month(again $50.00 per hour) and 80 is pretty easy to do. And I plan to take the Sgt. test next year. My good friend has been a Seargent for about 3 years and her base pay is 80k.

Come up here to Suffolk County, Long Island. Base salary for a Police Officer is:

SALARY
2007 starting base salary for a Police Officer is $57,811. With five (5) years of service, the base salary is $97,958*.

* Under 2007 labor agreement

[wingnut4772]

Come up here to Suffolk County, Long Island:

SALARY
2007 starting base salary for a Police Officer is $57,811. With five (5) years of service, the base salary is $97,958*.

* Under 2007 labor agreement
WOWEE! And I thought we had it good! We just got our new contract and we are getting a 12% (I think ) raise over the next 3 years and I still personally have another 10% in raises to go before I hit longevity (or make Sgt.) What is the cost of living in Long Island?

[wingnut4772]

Anyhoo...just spoke to her again (via email) and told her that I really needed to be on my own at this point and she told me she loved me and was not going to give up. So she is not making it easy.

And for you doubters. That is me with my beloved Sofie.

[Mike682]

WOWEE! And I thought we had it good! We just got our new contract and we are getting a 12% (I think ) raise over the next 3 years and I still personally have another 10% in raises to go before I hit longevity (or make Sgt.) What is the cost of living in Long Island?

Here's a link from Forbes:

http://www.forbes.com/lists/2005/1/2951.shtml

[wingnut4772]

Here's a link from Forbes:

http://www.forbes.com/lists/2005/1/2951.shtml

Thansk Mike. Your a full service poster!:D

[dkg999]

OK, it's a good thing I am taking a week of vacation back at my farm in IA, because I'm going to need it to get over the confusion of this thread :confused: There was a 180 degree shift in there that I sure didn't see coming.

Darla - go for whatever is going to make you happy! That's all that really matters.

[schwarcw]

And for you doubters. That is me with my beloved Sofie.

Now I know why she wants you back;) You can frisk and cuff me anytime!:D

Carl

[wingnut4772]

Now I know why she wants you back;) You can frisk and cuff me anytime!:D

Carl

:p :p :p
Thanks

[wingnut4772]

:p :p :p deleted

[danger boy]

Anyhoo...just spoke to her again (via email) and told her that I really needed to be on my own at this point and she told me she loved me and was not going to give up. So she is not making it easy.

And for you doubters. That is me with my beloved Sofie.

ok everybody all at once.. Awwwwwwwww. that's so cute. :)

[brettw22]

Good Lord Darla......you don't have to get TOOO friendly with the people here.....even I hold back more.....lol

[wingnut4772]

Good Lord Darla......you don't have to get TOOO friendly with the people here.....even I hold back more.....lol

Sorry.
just a little trip down memory lane.:p

[mrbigbluelight]

And for you doubters. That is me with my beloved Sofie.


1. Per Danger Boy, yes that is a cute picture. Cute little doggie. :)
2. You yourself are quite the charming young lady, in both your picture
and your posts.
(this cleaned up version was provided by lessons taught by MrNightly :) )
3. If that Sofie were a cat, well.......


.....okay, lemme make a substitution on #3.

3. Being single isn't so bad. The fear of losing what you have, no matter how
bad it is, may be controlling your decision. That's not crazy, that's what
they call being human. Getting up to look behind the curtain into the
unknown takes some courage, but you'll do it.
Also, sometimes people hate to "not finish what they start". You entered
your relationship, with some idea(s) as to where you would like it to lead.
It isn't heading there, apparently. You, not being a lazy slackjaw, have
taken up the challenge to make it work. I'd say you've more than supplied
enough effort. Nothing wrong with stepping back and saying, "Aw, crap !
That didn't work out like I thought and hoped it would." Doesn't mean
you're a loser, doesn't mean you're crazy, what it means is: Welcome to
the human race. You tried, gave it your best shot, and didn't come in
first.

Final piece of million dollar advice (I'm declaring this on my taxes once I file):
Everybody has choices to make in life, including your roommate.
If it is your choice to leave, she has the choice to make of accepting your choice (with regrets, of course) or not accepting it and taking longer to become the person she needs to/wants to become.

Your choice to make, make it ,and truly wish the other person well in the choices she has to make.

[F1nut]

Whew, time for another smoke!

[TroyD]

Hey, what did I miss??

BDT

[petrym]

Wow, this thread changed a bit over the last time I looked at it...

Darla, I can't tell you what to do, matters of the heart are the toughest to deal with, but you have to put yourself ahead of anything financial. Does your cop shop have professional (hopefully external) counseling available?

Michael

[wingnut4772]

If it is your choice to leave, she has the choice to make of accepting your choice (with regrets, of course) or not accepting it and taking longer to become the person she needs to/wants to become.

Your choice to make, make it ,and truly wish the other person well in the choices she has to make.
________________

Confucious say: "Man who post silly cat pictures possesses great wisdom."

Thanks:)

Does your cop shop have professional (hopefully external) counseling available?



Yes it does but if it's nt work related they are not really interested...Hell..even if it is work related they don't really care.

[unc2701]

And for you doubters. That is me with my beloved Sofie.


Awwww... Cute! I have a rat terrier that looks just like her. Anyhow, if you come to NC, I know tons of guys who'd love to meet you... and more than a few girls, too. You don't wnat to be a cop in Durham, but Cary isn't bad at all!

[wingnut4772]

Thanks. I love Rat Terriers. I actually have two....Sofie and Dexter.

[petrym]

...even if it is work related they don't really care.
Lovely... (sends a virtual smack to the "counseling" dipsticks)

I wish you the best; just please remember that you have to take care of you first. Everything else doesn't matter - 'cept taking care o' the HT gear! ;););)

Cute pic of you and your doggie!

[wingnut4772]

Thanks:)

Lovely... (sends a virtual smack to the "counseling" dipsticks)
Even after my shooting they were less than helpful.



I wish you the best; just please remember that you have to take care of you first. Everything else doesn't matter - 'cept taking care o' the HT gear! ;););)


That IS the most important thing!:D

[disneyjoe7]

Thanks. I love Rat Terriers. I actually have two....Sofie and Dexter.



PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER....

[petrym]

Even after my shooting they were less than helpful.
I hope you didn't get shot! :eek: Are you okay?

[dragon1952]

Guys. I am so messed up with this situation....AND I am thoroughly confused. I am sitting here in my beautiful back yard by the pool with my dogs and really wondering if I should give this another shot.....Also...I have a slight confession to make which may put a different spin on things and I hope that you guys don't get PO'd at me but in the interest of keeping things simple on this board and avoiding any hate (like I have seen some here receive)I said that the ass was a he when it's really...well not. It's a chick.


Don't go away folks! Stay tuned for another exciting episode of "As the Wingnut Turns" :eek:

[brettw22]

Dragon keep up........she 'turned' a long time ago....... :D

[dragon1952]

I know...I know. I'm trying to keep up. Shit, I must have missed like 5 episodes there.

[wingnut4772]

Just wait until the cliffhanger!:eek:

[wingnut4772]

I hope you didn't get shot! :eek: Are you okay?


Yes thanks, I am ok..tha other guy is not looking so good though.

[disneyjoe7]

Wingnut4772,

Need a HUG? If so standby I drive down turnpike....
I have some law enforce people friends so I'm safe :)

[cfrizz]

Absolutely adorable dogs Darla!:D And you're not so bad lookin yourself!;)

Just listen to & follow your instincts & take care of yourself.

[PolkThug]

:p :p :p deleted

Dang it! I think I missed something good here. :confused:

[jcaut]

It's twice as good in your imagination..:)







I missed it too. The ability to delete is a good thing, though. Especially for people like me who occasionally let their fingers get ahead of their brain..

Anyway, best of luck, Darla! I don't have any advice, but I know you'll get things worked out.

Jason

[wingnut4772]

Absolutely adorable dogs Darla!:D And you're not so bad lookin yourself!;)

Just listen to & follow your instincts & take care of yourself.

Thanks Cathy:) My intincts right now are saying 'you have an ulcer'.:eek:

[petrym]

Yes thanks, I am ok..tha other guy is not looking so good though.
Ok, I did a search and found that you pounded the other dude... whew. I guess I gotta read *all* the posts to keep up with "As the Polkies Turn." :)

[mrbigbluelight]

PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER.... PULL OVER....

disneyjoe7 was FUNNY !


:D

[wingnut4772]

disneyjoe7 was FUNNY !


:D

Oh yeah. I cracked up big time at that one.LOL!:D Thanks for the laughs guys.

[Grimster74]

Darla, I have to ask, have you always lived in the south, if so, do you have a TWIN sister that lives in Virginia. I'd be willing to put my paycheck on it that I found your twin in the Fredericksburg area. I used to hang out with some guys a few years back and one of them dated a girl that looks identical to you. Just curious.

[wingnut4772]

You know it's funny but I get that all the time. Nope. No sisters - that I know about -:eek: but I have tons of extended family that I don't even know about . My mom's biological father probably has family somewhere so who knows? You can send your paycheck to my Paypal account.:D

[madmax]

Just wait until the cliffhanger!:eek:



Oh no! Don't hang Cliff!!! :eek:

[BlueMDPicker]

I need a joint. I started smoking again three pages ago. :cool:

[disneyjoe7]

Oh god she is a COP

[dragon1952]

Geez Louise...where the hell have you been Joe? :rolleyes:

[cfrizz]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Just a little slow there are we Steve? ROFLMAO!!!

[disneyjoe7]

Is this due to my She's a cop quote?

LOL

I posted that just to be funny due to this...



I need a joint. I started smoking again three pages ago. :cool:

[F1nut]

I need a joint. I started smoking again three pages ago. :cool:

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[wingnut4772]

That's ok . I need one too!

[BlueMDPicker]

Yep. She's a cop. ;)

[joeparaski]

Hmmmm, interesting indeed. I have a friend of mine who is a cop in Montreal and he says there are many female cop couples. What is it about gay women and police careers anyway? I wonder if W-5 ever did a story on that.:D

[wingnut4772]

Yep. She's a cop. ;)


LOL:D

[disneyjoe7]

Hell then pass it along Damn it

[wingnut4772]

Hmmmm, interesting indeed. I have a friend of mine who is a cop in Montreal and he says there are many female cop couples. What is it about gay women and police careers anyway? I wonder if W-5 ever did a story on that.:D

Yes. We have quite a few also but the majority look like men :eek: Actually , I guess they are the ones that are obvious so there are probably more than I think. I personally would NEVER date a cop...guy or gal.

[BlueMDPicker]

Here's what I'M talkin' 'bout for this thread. RIP Bob:

http://www.toddbreer.com/images/v3/small/m_112602_bmjoint.jpg

[wingnut4772]

That looks like a felony to me.:p

[disneyjoe7]

http://www.toddbreer.com/images/v3/small/m_112602_bmjoint.jpg


Great you brought enough for all of us.. :D

[TroyD]

Go to Kingston, Jamaica. See that shit on the street in the open.

BDT

[BlueMDPicker]

It's not mine, officer. I was just holding it for a friend who told me not to let it go out. Honest.

[disneyjoe7]

Go to Kingston, Jamaica. See that shit on the street in the open.

BDT


Talking about that I once seen a wooden statue of a man with a "Unit" that size on a road near Kingston, Jamaica.

[F1nut]

I personally would NEVER date a cop...guy or gal.

Hmmmm........intriguing!

[wingnut4772]

It's not mine, officer. I was just holding it for a friend who told me not to let it go out. Honest.
I have teenage kids tell me that is was for their Glaucoma. After I was done laughing I let them go....after I scared them a little of course:p

[mrbigbluelight]

1. That's never stopped me before.
2. I've forgotten what the topic is

....so, being as Wingnut and Cfrizz are both members of gendarme (French for "chicks in uniform") if I'm not mistaken, here's a little something:


18169


Hey ! I did say it was a LITTLE something. Tough finding something that is cop, cat, and doughnut related.
I know cop and doughnut is a little redundant, but ..... :)

[brettw22]

Cfrizz isn't a cop, and yes, the cat's are all redundant.

[wingnut4772]

I must have that.

[Skynut]

Tough finding something that is cop, cat, and doughnut related.
I know cop and doughnut is a little redundant, but ..... :)


And you ripped on me for stereo-typing cops. :confused:

[cfrizz]

Thanks Brett!

Ditto! And it looks like Mike passed his "smoke" down to BBL!:D

Cfrizz isn't a cop, and yes, the cat's are all redundant.

[PolkThug]

Cats are fun!

http://www.polkaudio.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=14196&d=1140149233

[wingnut4772]

Well here is the latest. She went to the shrink today and now shes very cooperative. She wants to get an appraisal and list it fairly. Just one hour earlier she was telling me that she had to get her money out of the house and expected me to give up my half to accomodate her in the sale??! WTH!
I smell a rat. Does anyone know if let's say we sell the house and she takes a hit of 20k or so if she can come back after the sale and sue me civilly for the loss. ..because it was my idea to sell although I gave her the option to buy me out?:confused:

[brettw22]

Once the papers are signed authorizing the sale of the house (something you both have to do if your names are on the title) then I don't see how she could come after you.

If she didn't want to sell, then her not signing the sale contract would hold you off on moving forward........

[schwarcw]

The contract is the key. It should contain language that waives any future claims. Sad to say,:( but you're going to need an attorney Darla. Make sure the attorney is experienced in property settlements and contract law.

[wingnut4772]

Any attorneys here.??..My realtor ( the one I bought the house with) is going to hook me up with one tomorrow but they ain't cheap. I just want to cover my bases and see what legal grounds I have to stand on because I do not trust her.

[brettw22]

Don't flag anything yet. See what the realtor says about any possible recourse after the sale contract is signed. If you can have her be civil to the point of signing the sale contract, then I think you should be ok.......but don't let her know you're bringing an attorney in the mix yet.

[wingnut4772]

Don't flag anything yet. See what the realtor says about any possible recourse after the sale contract is signed. If you can have her be civil to the point of signing the sale contract, then I think you should be ok.......but don't let her know you're bringing an attorney in the mix yet.

I will be sneaky about it. It's just that she's been so adamant that she MUST get 30k at least from the quick turn around from this house and she is so vindictive. I have seen her take her ex to court and it was not pretty.:(

[TroyD]

Protect thyself.....

BDT

[wingnut4772]

I spoke to an attorney and he told me that I would lose way more money by forcing a sale in court than just losing money to her in a bad settlement.:(

I am now going to open up my Paypal account for donations....:eek: :( :eek: :(

WAH!

[Ricardo]

Wow...hard to believe that after someone signs off on a sale contract they can come back to sue you for forcing a sale.....wouldn't signing be "settling" for the sale amonunt???I'll never understand how laws work...

[read-alot]

Here's what I'M talkin' 'bout for this thread. RIP Bob:

http://www.toddbreer.com/images/v3/small/m_112602_bmjoint.jpg


Don't bogart that joint my friend
Pass it over to me
Don't bogart that joint my friend
Pass it over to me

Roll another one
Just like the other one
You've been holding on to it
And I sure will like a hit


Yeah I grew up in the late 60's. Just pass that SOB over, things have really changed in this thread since I was last here. BTW I have "seen" joints that big and I was not in Jamaica.

[shack]

I think what he is saying is that the cost of going to court is much more expensive that negotiating a "less than optimal deal" (mainly HIS fees).

Negotiate a deal...with the help of the lawyers...and go from there. A court battle is not in HER best interest either. The cost of going to court to enforce a binding contract is cheaper/easier that forcing an unnegotiated sale. Once you have a contract in place, if she reneges then you are in the driver's seat and she would bear the cost of litigation.

Work it out...make sure it is legally binding...get it in writing!

[BlueMDPicker]

I will be sneaky about it. (

Golly geewillikers... I hope she doesn't happen upon this public forum. :eek:

[TroyD]

we got to be vewy vewy qwiet. We're hunting wabbits!

BDT

[wingnut4772]

we got to be vewy vewy qwiet. We're hunting wabbits!

BDT

Heh heh heh heh heh

[wingnut4772]

I think what he is saying is that the cost of going to court is much more expensive that negotiating a "less than optimal deal" (mainly HIS fees).

Negotiate a deal...with the help of the lawyers...and go from there. A court battle is not in HER best interest either. The cost of going to court to enforce a binding contract is cheaper/easier that forcing an unnegotiated sale. Once you have a contract in place, if she reneges then you are in the driver's seat and she would bear the cost of litigation.

Work it out...make sure it is legally binding...get it in writing!
Basically he said my only option was what's called a 'Partition Sale". Then the house is sold at auction by the courts for sometimes only 70% of the value of the home . When you consider that could be about 50k or so less than we owe...it would be cheaper just to give her my half and laugh at her when she goes to hell when she dies.:D HA.I just kidding. (but I made me laugh)I don't wish her any ill will...I just want O-U-T.

[Dennis Gardner]

With so much emotionally tied up in this relationship, if she is demanding to come out okay on this sale, you have got to appeal to the logical business side of her. The personal fealings have to be shelved by both parties to get the most out of the house and that may mean putting your HT back into full display, cinnamon bread in the oven and candles burning all over to appeal to buyers. Your house will bring what you want if shown properly. Use the tools you have both put into your house to get the most out of it.

This is beyond personal now, its strictly business, or both or you stand to lose. Just my opinion, good luck Darla.

[brettw22]

And above else, promise NOTHING other than a civil end to the relationship.

[wingnut4772]

$350.00 to send her a letter from the attorney :eek: Hopefully that will be all I need.

[Skynut]

In the letter you should ask for a $350.00 reply from her attorney. :D

[wingnut4772]

In the letter you should ask for a $350.00 reply from her attorney. :D

I just hope that she does not get her own and this becomes a War of the Roses....but I think she has.

[Skynut]

That sucks, once the lawyers get to talking to each other any profit from the house goes to them.

[amulford]

Consider this, they figure they should be good for a third. EACH...

[wingnut4772]

I had a brainstorm that just might work. When she and I bought this house we did not have a contract that said should one of us desire to sell the house..it gets sold. Period. At a fair market value and if the other person doesn't like it they can buy you out.The end.

Well .....she still wants to work on this. I called my atty. to see if we can still draw up that contract . That way if she behaves great. If not, I am outta there with the contract to back me up and no stress. It just gets done without the drama. Win Win. She has agreed to this. I just think it's a terrific solution.....

[schwarcw]

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Attorneys don't like things to end nicely. They can't bill for a lot of hours that way. Each of your attorneys are probably meeting for lunch today, calculating the equity you BOTH have in the house, and dividing that number by their hourly rate. Sometimes these things don't get settled until the money is gone

[cfrizz]

That is just a wee bit paranoid Carl & a lot of hyperbole to boot. Not all lawyers are looking to clean you out & a good many truly want to help people.

Lawyers, have to earn a living just like everyone else, and they do come in very handy.

Unless you have a clue about what it takes to practice law, perhaps you shouldn't believe everything you see on tv about them.

[PolkThug]

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Attorneys don't like things to end nicely. They can't bill for a lot of hours that way. Each of your attorneys are probably meeting for lunch today, calculating the equity you BOTH have in the house, and dividing that number by their hourly rate. Sometimes these things don't get settled until the money is gone

+1

Good luck wingnut!

[schwarcw]

That is just a wee bit paranoid Carl & a lot of hyperbole to boot. Not all lawyers are looking to clean you out & a good many truly want to help people.

Lawyers, have to earn a living just like everyone else, and they do come in very handy.

Unless you have a clue about what it takes to practice law, perhaps you shouldn't believe everything you see on tv about them.

I know I'm exaggerating a little bit Cathy:) But, I know for a fact that these situations end much faster and cheaper when there is no money in play.

They come to an end even faster when there are no lawyers in play.

My ex and I pretty much settled our situation before we went looking for an attorney. We went to several who were horrified that we were there together and wanted to hire a "joint" attorney to write up the property settlement. Several flat out wouldn't take our case because "This is not how these things are done!" In the end it cost us about $2,000 in attorney fees. I have had more than a few friends who went through it and the property settlement was concluded only when the lawyers had most of the money.

[wingnut4772]

Ok....Good news. We are going to a lawyer recommended by our counselor to draw up an agreement between us..so we are going to work on it and continue to see a counselor together. We have actually had a nice couple of days and I think that we learned a lot from this incident so I am hopeful going forward. Now I have to replace those HT components I sold ....deviously clever, no?;)

[dkg999]

After every crisis you should reward yourself with something nice, like new HT/Audio equipment! That's my theory anyway!

[wingnut4772]

After every crisis you should reward yourself with something nice, like new HT/Audio equipment! That's my theory anyway!

Well then you should be proud of me because I did that and then some!:D New HT Thread (http://www.polkaudio.com/forums/showthread.php?p=495988#post495988)

[cfrizz]

Darla, I would wait until things are really settled before replacing anything. Otherwise you could just be repeating this whole process all over again!

[wingnut4772]

I thought about that but I will just take it all with me in that case.

[wingnut4772]

Well ladies and gents, the time has finally arrived. There was no avoiding it any longer. It's just not working out. Believe it or not, I actually got spit on as well as got called several choice names during the final 'sell the house and break up' conversation which pretty much just validated my decision.

Now, the name of the game is $$$$$$$$$ as I will need to buy something myself so you may see an item or two pop up here in the FM. I figure I can just get it all again sometime so what the heck.

The funny thing is . even though this is stressful as hell, I am happy. I feel free. I just hope this house does not take forever to sell....

[Ricardo]

Darla,

Don't look back!
Don't let anything change your mind; it seems to me that this is the only way out, and that freedom feeling will pay off.

[wingnut4772]

There is NO coming back from getting spit in the face, that's for sure. It's ugly...she is beig tricky and spending money I am not approving of to fix up the house. I know she intends to take me to court for frivolous things like groceries etc. She is very vindictive....and yet I am happier now than I have been in 3 years.

[Joelsbass]

I can relate wingnut. My ex and I didn't buy a house together but we had a larger apartment than I would have otherwise had and I took out a loan in my name for her car, and I put her cell phone on my account, and all the bills were in my name plus several hundred in credit card debt... all this bit me in the ass when I found out the daughter I had been raising was actually someone else's... I'm finally getting to where I make more per month without overtime than I have to pay out but it's been a hard road... You have my sympathies sir! I hope things get better from here on out and I hope you learned your lesson! I know I did...

[jdhdiggs]

Well, congrats on the freedom. Need any help from all of us?

Good Luck!

[rskarvan]

Wishing you the best.

[Ricardo]

You have my sympathies sir!

he he he.......

[unc2701]

Know that we're all thinking about you...

and that Anthem pre-pro. :)

[dkg999]

Darla - congratulations and the best of luck with your new found freedom :) It may be rough for a while, just keep your eye on the end game. Wishing you all the happiness you deserve!

[wingnut4772]

I actually already sold that :(

[cheddar]

Well, there may actually be some pre/pros coming out within the next year that are even better than the anthem. Good luck on working yourself loose. Keep your eye on the prize...your own place, your life back, and upgrades (for A/V and the rest of your life)...:D

[phoneisbusy]

I was thinking this was the case when I saw some of your FM posts. :( I wish you the best.

regards

Dave

[Holydoc]

Good luck with the house sale, Darla. I am sad to hear that this situation has raised its ugly head again. Be strong and faithful to yourself.

[beardog03]

hang tough ..
This too shall pass..!!

[cfrizz]

Sorry it came to this Darla.:( But you know that you tried everything possible to make it work & can leave with a clear conscience & enjoy your new found freedom!

You are in my thoughts & I wish you all the best when you leave!

Cathy

[petrym]

Darla,
You are keeping the high road on this, that makes you the better person, move on and hang tough. You ROCK!
Michael

[george daniel]

Darla,, you have been going thru this long enough. Having once been in a similar situation, it seemed like a whole new world with new opportunities/adventures opened up when we split,divided property,etc;You "owe it to yourself" to be happy in life,, although I've never met you,,,you seem to be a sincere person with a good heart. I have every confidence that you will fare well,mentally,physically,emotionally and financially. Don't look back--:)
Kindest regards--george

[hearingimpared]

Darla, good luck and I pray for a quick resolution.

[wingnut4772]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate the warm wishes. I am sure it will all work out. Everything that happens is the way it is meant to be.

[halo]

Wishing only the best for you in this f#cked up situation Darla.

The funny thing is . even though this is stressful as hell, I am happy. I feel free.
Freedom is priceless!

Chin up! We're here for you! :)

[mrbigbluelight]

Don't foget, Darla: it's ALL good ! :)

And always remember:

23176

you may not know where the "Big Dog" is taking you in life, so ENJOY THE RIDE !!

[wingnut4772]

I am so happy I took that picture!:D

[disneyjoe7]

Well normally it's PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER, PULL OVER,


But in this case it's HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS, HIT THE GAS,

[wingnut4772]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D :D :D

[schwarcw]

I'm sorry to hear about this Darla. I hope you can avoid too much BS. Good luck!

[Fireman32]

Sorry to hear about this Darla. Wishing you the best of luck.

[Polk65]

A new chapter in your life. :)

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/1905/daffyul7.gif

[bdaley6509]

Are you hot??
If you're hot, you have nothing to worry about. Get yourself a nice sugar mamma and all your worries are gone :)

[jdhdiggs]

Yeah, she's "hot"... And has handcuffs and a utility belt...

But I think she wants to take care of herself, not be taken care of. Just a hunch...

[Joelsbass]

... Ya can't beat a woman who brings her own handcuffs....

My last sig...
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me"

BTW, sorry for calling you a sir earlier, don't spend enough time on the HT side of things to know who all's who... At least you don't have to go through the paternity issue in your split :p

[mrbigbluelight]

Oh oh........:eek:

[wingnut4772]

Are you hot??
If you're hot, you have nothing to worry about. Get yourself a nice sugar mamma and all your worries are gone :)

I do allright :p . but JD is right , I really plan on taking care of myself. If anyone else comes along fine but they are not living with me . I want to be able to tell them not to let the door hit them in the a$$ on the way out if I need to.:D

[dkg999]

Girls with guns are always hot :D Darla - you've got the right attitude :)

[wingnut4772]

Well I have sold almost everything I wanted to except the Toshiba HD DVD player. It all went fast. I am keeping all the stuff that does not get outdated like amps, speakers and cables. I guess that's a smart compromise. By the time I get another Ht up and running they may have invented a whole new technology so there's no sense in storing the electronics.

[jdhdiggs]

Dangit, I was waiting for the amps, now I didn't get squat... :(

[wingnut4772]

Dangit, I was waiting for the amps, now I didn't get squat... :(
Ha . Sorry. Maybe later if I get desperate so there is always hope.:D

[Maurice]

Hey Darla,
I've been reading this thread for the last couple days and thought I'd chime in. I'm going thru a very nasty divorce/custody battle as we speak. Not to get too lengthy, but on Jan. 19 my so-called wife disappeared with my 2 daughters. It took a private investigator to locate her, and to my BIG surprise she had been planning it almost to months and moved hundreds of miles away to Sacramento. She stole furniture, assets, the whole nine yards, not to mention my girls. Anyway, I got myself together and started taking legal actions on the next business day. Thank God I did. Since then, I have gained custody of my girls, I will be keeping my home (which I had before we married), and as of now, she is on the outside looking in. My point is this, in situations like this, when war is declared, you must stay calm and make sure all your moves are calculated and accurate. Any filing with a court system (if that applies to your situation) should be done quickly. When it comes to assets, dont rely on yourself, get an attorney and make your moves quietly but swiftly. Trust me, I know what I'm saying. I'm a man in CALIFORNIA and I have custody of my kids and I'm keeping my home, that says alot to the merits of moving quietly and quickly. Best wishes.;)

[wingnut4772]

Hey Darla,
I've been reading this thread for the last couple days and thought I'd chime in. I'm going thru a very nasty divorce/custody battle as we speak. Not to get too lengthy, but on Jan. 19 my so-called wife disappeared with my 2 daughters. It took a private investigator to locate her, and to my BIG surprise she had been planning it almost to months and moved hundreds of miles away to Sacramento. She stole furniture, assets, the whole nine yards, not to mention my girls. Anyway, I got myself together and started taking legal actions on the next business day. Thank God I did. Since then, I have gained custody of my girls, I will be keeping my home (which I had before we married), and as of now, she is on the outside looking in. My point is this, in situations like this, when war is declared, you must stay calm and make sure all your moves are calculated and accurate. Any filing with a court system (if that applies to your situation) should be done quickly. When it comes to assets, dont rely on yourself, get an attorney and make your moves quietly but swiftly. Trust me, I know what I'm saying. I'm a man in CALIFORNIA and I have custody of my kids and I'm keeping my home, that says alot to the merits of moving quietly and quickly. Best wishes.;)


Yeah that's a bad situation. Unfortunately , she can take the furniture and stuff. Your only recourse there is civil. I am glad that you obtained custody. It is pretty crappy of her to do that. I wish you well

[Maurice]

Thanks. Acutally I'm cool. I got rid of a problem and kept all my stuff.:D :D

[DarqueKnight]

Wingnut, Maurice...

My compliments to you both for keeping your cool in your respective situations. There is always something/someone better just around the corner.

[mrbigbluelight]

Not to get too lengthy, but on Jan. 19 my so-called wife disappeared with my 2 daughters. It took a private investigator to locate her, and to my BIG surprise she had been planning it almost two months and moved hundreds of miles away to Sacramento.

Maurice, don't be surprised down the road when it comes out that she had been planning this a LOT longer. :eek:

As you and Wingnut are doing, the key is to stay calm.

Don't argue, let her talk/rant/rave. When she talks, you can learn.
When you talk, she can gather ammo and/or build defenses.

Sounds like you have the best interests of your girls in mind; as tough as it might be, make sure their mother isn't put down ("Hey, if mom is messed up, and I'm her daughter, what's that make me ?"). Also, it's not up to you to explain the unexplainable, or defend the undefendable.

Good luck to both of you all and, if you let it, it is ALL good. :)

[wingnut4772]

Well for the last two weeks I have had many a realtor traipse through here pretty much all telling me the same thing. The market sucks and we may be lucky to walk away with $0.00. Of course the realtor will make money. So now we are looking at Assist to Sell os even selling it ourselves. What a costly lesson I have learned...those amps may be going up after all.:(

[venomclan]

Good luck Darla,
The market sucks, that is right. It is going to get worse as the mortgage companies are reeling from late payments and foreclosures will explode. Banks are now requiring an unheard of in recent years; downpayment. The stock market dropped 200+ because of this. Just keep the property in the best shape and be flexible to an extent.
Venom

[wingnut4772]

Update:

The market is soooooo crappy that we have decided to hold off for a while until it turns around. We have somehow managed to remain friends so that is good and it takes of the pressure from me having to have gajillions of dollars right away (hence a recent purchase:p ). I don't think I will be replacing the HT right now and I am still working on a plan (read Lotto) to buy out the other half but for now it seems I am keeping my house - I just have a roommmate.Could be worse, I guess.

[Ricardo]

Hang in there; hope everything turns out good for you.

[hearingimpared]

Update:

The market is soooooo crappy that we have decided to hold off for a while until it turns around. We have somehow managed to remain friends so that is good and it takes of the pressure from me having to have gajillions of dollars right away (hence a recent purchase:p ). I don't think I will be replacing the HT right now and I am still working on a plan (read Lotto) to buy out the other half but for now it seems I am keeping my house - I just have a roommmate.Could be worse, I guess.

Amicable is always the best route! Good luck!

[halo]

Good luck Darla :)

[Jim Shearer]

Sounds good. And at least you aren't stuck in iPod hell.:eek: (and don't have to waste good money on a receiver you don't really want either.)

Good Luck!
Jim

[BaggedLancer]

I'll move in if you want...... I can't cook, I can't clean, I make a mess, I leave the toilet seat up, I've never mowed a lawn(we don't even own a lawnmower), I can't paint.........Let me know!

[wingnut4772]

I'll move in if you want...... I can't cook, I can't clean, I make a mess, I leave the toilet seat up, I've never mowed a lawn(we don't even own a lawnmower), I can't paint.........Let me know!

I might think about that if you come with an Anthem Statement D2, P5 Amp and a P2 amp with a new Toshiba HD player, and a Halcro D10, A pair of Halcro DM 88 amps and a pair of Wilson Maxx 2s for the 2 channel set up.









Forgot to mention a nice Simaudio or Naim CD AND SACD player.










OH.....and don't forget the Nordost Valhalla cables and interconnects and the Shunyata Hydras (notice the 'S' means multiple).











If you have a nice 1080p projector lying around, can you bring that too?

[Demiurge]

I'll bring that stuff if we can spend your money. Whattya say? :)

[MikeC78]

How about if I bring everything as stated above, and also do all the chores as mentioned? Can I drive the Hummer?:p

[BaggedLancer]

I might think about that if you come with an Anthem Statement D2, P5 Amp and a P2 amp with a new Toshiba HD player, and a Halcro D10, A pair of Halcro DM 88 amps and a pair of Wilson Maxx 2s for the 2 channel set up.

Forgot to mention a nice Simaudio or Naim CD AND SACD player.

OH.....and don't forget the Nordost Valhalla cables and interconnects and the Shunyata Hydras (notice the 'S' means multiple).

If you have a nice 1080p projector lying around, can you bring that too?

Sorry, the only things I can really offer to you are my $100,000 college debt and rest of my Infiniti G35x debt......

Let me know!

[BaggedLancer]

How about if I bring everything as stated above, and also do all the chores as mentioned? Can I drive the Hummer?:p

I'll bring that stuff if we can spend your money. Whattya say? :)


Get in line you two, I was here first! :(

[Demiurge]

Hey, I bring the best equipment. ;) :eek: :p

[MikeC78]

Hey, I bring the best equipment. ;) :eek: :p

I've heard about your interconnects, her system might choke on them?:p:rolleyes:

[Demiurge]

:confused: This thread has now turned sordid and unseemly....

....maybe that's a good thing. :eek:

[BaggedLancer]

Hey, I bring the best equipment. ;) :eek: :p

But hey, atleast mine comes with guaranteed longevity being one of the youngest here. :cool:

[disneyjoe7]

I won't bring the best toys, but I could be there the fastest. :)

[Demiurge]

But hey, atleast mine comes with guaranteed longevity being one of the youngest here. :cool:

You sprout yet, junior? ;)

[BaggedLancer]

You sprout yet, junior? ;)

At my young age of 21......I'm gonna have to answer that with an "almost" ;)

[disneyjoe7]

Darla, I don't know about the others here above ^^^^ but I'm 99.9998% house trained. ;)



.0002% for the F*$K up days.

[Demiurge]

This page reads like an episode of Love Connection with Chuck Woolery.

[TroyD]

Man, ad an attractive female to the mix and you guys just get downright silly.

BDT

[wingnut4772]

You guys are silly.:p

[BaggedLancer]

You guys are silly.:p

they may be silly, but i'm serious. :o





;)

[disneyjoe7]

He's too young, I'm just right :)

[BaggedLancer]

He's too young, I'm just right :)

Oh please, she likes them young im sure. :cool:

[cfrizz]

If you are a mature youngin, you have potential. If not come back in 10 yrs when you finally grow up!;) :p :D

Oh please, she likes them young im sure. :cool:

[BaggedLancer]

If you are a mature youngin, you have potential. If not come back in 10 yrs when you finally grow up!;) :p :D

I'm a mature youngin! With potential!.....I think. :o

[hearingimpared]

I'm a mature youngin! With potential!.....I think. :o

Here we go again!!!:D :p

[Demiurge]

I'm a mature youngin! With potential!.....I think. :o

Screw potential, it's potency...:eek:

[wingnut4772]

Well this thread has certainly gone down an unforseen avenue.:)

Thanks guys for all the support and for making me smile.