Fun-time with Troy

[RuSsMaN]

Step 1: Download the photo below.
Step 2: Enlarge and print the photo.
Step 3: Trim around Troy's head.
Step 4: Attach a length of string to each of Troy's ears.
Step 5: Present the mask to your wife or lover.
Step 6: Make love to Troy.

[HBombToo]

BEER Goggles, Helping UGLY people have sex since 1862...

Won't even help HERE!

[phuz]

I knew it. Russ is projecting his *own* dark fantasies onto other board members. You go ahead and try it out and let us know how it goes. Ya might have to paste some hair onto your partners back and chest to make it more realistic.

Just admit it Russ, let go of the hangers.......

[RuSsMaN]

I know that's a wheels-off post, but I felt the comedic value was high enough to risk being accused of gaydom.....

Cheers,
Laughing Russ

[hoosier21]

When the action starts, if you want it to be realistic, have your wife/lover rip a couple of those 30 second long farts Troy is known to let,

[Ron-P]

Damn Russ, you sure like giving Troy.....um, head.

Let me rephrase that, giving out Troy's head.


Peace Out~:D

[RuSsMaN]

Thanks for the re-phrase, I wasn't quite sure what to say....

Cheers,
Russ

[TroyD]

Well, Russ figgered he'd share the wealth since Brandy refuses to give it up to him unless he is wearing the Troy mask.

Who knows, it might work for everyone.

BDT

[RuSsMaN]

No Troy, you've got it all wrong.....SHE wears the mask.....

-R

[Ron-P]

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!


Peace Out~:D

[TroyD]

Man.....I don't quite know what to say to that. I mean you are a pal and all but I'm straight.

BDT

[RuSsMaN]

Straight? Well, I guess that makes sense. You did tell me you felt like a lesbian trapped in a man's body.....

Cheers,
Russ

[OrangeToupee]

Almost too funny to bother adding anything to the mix, but...

If realism is what you're after, I think it would be best if you were to have your lover roll over and wear the mask on the back of her head.

[mantis]

Weird post guys..........above me in all ways!!

[RuSsMaN]

*bump*

[George Grand]

Oh YOOOOO HOOOOOO, TROOOOOY,

Guess where I didn't wear a mask.


George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[bobman1235]

Originally posted by RuSsMaN
*bump*

LOL, someone's pretty drunk to bump this thread.

And it's not me... well... it COULD be, but I didn't start it...

[Airplay355]

found a halloween costume for next year...

[disneyjoe7]

:eek:

[George Grand]

Somebody asked for digital images of the Mini Half-Ass Polkfest at my place tomorrow.............Chuck YOU Farley, I know a set-up when I see one. No cameras tomorrow girls.

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[TroyD]

Man, I'm STILL wierded out, even after, what, 3 years??

BDT

[Vr3MxStyler2k3]

Dude... wtf...

This is...weird

I bet yall sang show tunes at the SC gathering didnt yall?

[George Grand]

Yeah, from South Pacific...........

"I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair...."

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

[RuSsMaN]

Troy is more of a 'West Side Story' kind of guy.

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty...."

BTW, Brandy is hip to my kinky side, I've made rough man love to 'Troy' several times.

Cheers,
Rooster

[Tour2ma]

What happened to resurrect this ? Did the restraining order expire?

[BlueMDPicker]

[BlueMDPicker]

[mantis]

This thead is so twisted I have no idea where to begin..... or end for that matter.


Dan

[Jstas]

OK, I want the 2 minutes of my life that it took me to read this thread back!

[dragon1952]

No Troy, you've got it all wrong.....SHE wears the mask.....

Unfortunately for me, as fat as my wifes getting lately that might be an improvement :(

[brettw22]

Originally posted by dragon1952
Unfortunately for me, as fat as my wifes getting lately that might be an improvement :( Someone best pray to God that the wife doesn't frequent the boards.........lol

[dragon1952]

Someone best pray to God that the wife doesn't frequent the boards.........lol

Yeah, I better watch out. She might curtail our sex life.

Hmmm, on second thought maybe I'll leave this thread open on purpose :D

[F1nut]

LOL.....a man living on the edge.

[Toxis]

wow, that's just not funny. Obviously some people are to shallow to look past looks for love.

[dragon1952]

wow, that's just not funny. Obviously some people are to shallow to look past looks for love.

Sorry dear...I didn't know you posted here :rolleyes:

I've been married to her for 30yrs bozo. If that ain't love I don't know what is. :cool:

[Vr3MxStyler2k3]

Sancho is turning into a Pancho...Constantly getting rained on!

[spasticpitbull]

..

[RuSsMaN]

*cough*

[mrbigbluelight]

Unfortunately for me, as fat as my wifes getting lately that might be an improvement :(

Now Dragon, as a renowned expert on women, I would like to offer the following advice:

Follows Steps 1 through 5

Step 1: Download the photo below.
Step 2: Enlarge and print the photo.
Step 3: Trim around Troy's head.
Step 4: Attach a length of string to each of Troy's ears.
Step 5: Present the mask to your wife or lover.

Upon completing Step 5, make the observation that:

"Well, this might be an improvement."

I think that you'll find that you're able to immediately proceed to Step 6:

Step 6: Make love to Troy.

I'm sure of this. Well, I'm pretty sure ..... kind of.
It's definitely worth a try !!

:)

[dragon1952]

LOL! I can't believe I ever said that :o Actually , I am pleased to say she has lost over 60 lbs in the past year! Hubba-hubba :cool: Sorry Troy ;)

[RuSsMaN]

ha!!

[ohskigod]

ah, a thread that shall always live on...LOL

[RuSsMaN]

One of my favorite Troy threads.

[tonyb]

If I only had a stick long enough.....

[RuSsMaN]

Wholesome fun for the holidays.

[hearingimpared]

This is good shit!!!!@

[disneyjoe7]

Only GOD knows how many Club Polk Members "Screwed" Troy. ;)

[RuSsMaN]

Are we all having fun yet?

No one is fighting.....

Yeah, I'm in bag, so of course I'm having fun!

[hearingimpared]

This whole days threads are what makes this forum so much fun. EFFFFF fighting!

[treitz3]

Amen. :D

[dkg999]

Obviously Russ stocked up on the green fairy drink we were discussing in another thread ;)

[TroyD]

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaa

[mrbigbluelight]

I would recommend printing that picture out on High Gloss Photo paper.
It's better suited for quick sponge cleanup afterwards.

[hearingimpared]

You guys crack me up!!!

[ohskigod]

this thread never gets old, or any less disturbing :D

[TroyD]

Screw Justin Timberlake...

I'm bringing sexy back.

BDT

[dorokusai]

My wife says I'm in love with Justin Timberlake.

[TroyD]

I thought you WERE Justin Timberlake?

BDT

[dorokusai]

I can't dance worth shite.

[TroyD]

Well, considering you have three dicks.....I suppose that makes sense.

BDT

[shack]

Step 1: Download the photo below.
Step 2: Enlarge and print the photo.
Step 3: Trim around Troy's head.
Step 4: Attach a length of string to each of Troy's ears.
Step 5: Present the mask to your wife or lover.
Step 6: Make love to Troy.

I tried this....It just didn't work.

Switched it up...I put the mask on...

Damn...the woman was all over me and hotter than a 16 year old virgin in the back seat after a couple of PBRs. Who knew????

[TroyD]

I have that effect on women (and men to a large extent). It's a curse, I tell you.

BDT

[cfrizz]

Damn Troy, why do you have to be so far away?;)

BTW, Do the other guys you work with know you have this curse??? It must cause some very wierd problems!:eek::p:D

[reeltrouble1]

Well, considering you have three dicks.....I suppose that makes sense.

BDT

cept its a problem when playing pocket pool.......makes for two happy dicks and one free willy.

RT1

[TroyD]

Damn Troy, why do you have to be so far away?;)

BTW, Do the other guys you work with know you have this curse??? It must cause some very wierd problems!:eek::p:D

Every once in awhile someone gets all sex crazy and retard strong....but I do carry and M-16 and a can of mace. That pretty much keeps 'em in check.

BDT

[cfrizz]

:D WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!:D:eek::D

Every once in awhile someone gets all sex crazy and retard strong....but I do carry and M-16 and a can of mace. That pretty much keeps 'em in check.

BDT

[TroyD]

Some people just don't know how to take 'no' for an answer, it's a curse I tell ya....

Plus, I got the TLW....sorry, nobody can top that.

BDT

[F1nut]

I never get to have any fun with Troy. He always says he has a headache. :(

[dorokusai]

I'd hit it.

[F1nut]

You'd hit anything.

[RuSsMaN]

So how does it feel to get a pardon twice in one month?

[dorokusai]

I'm beside myself with jealousy and yes, I'd almost hit anything with at least one "leg". I'm an earth dweller so I limit myself to....well wait a minute, a mermaid or harpy would be cool.

Well, out goes that idea....yep, anything.

[F1nut]

Ummmmm..only one pardon, the other was a conviction. :rolleyes:

[RuSsMaN]

True!!!! LOL

Hey, you were headed for 30 days in the hole, you would have had to change your name to Cool Hand Luke, and start getting familiar with hard boiled eggs.

Shakin' it boss,
Russ

[dorokusai]

You know a long time ago they would have dunked you like a witch or drove a stake thru your heart....I think you got off easy. Polk didn't play games in those days.

[BaggedLancer]

Had he not been pardoned some of us would have to stand outside Polk holding signs that say "Free the Jesse 1"

[dorokusai]

I would've brought a cooler full of beer to that protest....and then forgotten why I was there eventually.

[F1nut]

What we have here is a failure to communicate.





I'm bad, I'm nationwide! :D

[BaggedLancer]

What we have here is a failure to communicate.





I'm bad, I'm nationwide! :D


Nationwide? Try worldwide.

[RuSsMaN]

I already started having the "Save Jesse" banner printed to hang on the local water tower.

[dorokusai]

This is the type of forum we USED to have.....doesn't it feel good?

[BaggedLancer]

Sounds good russ, I'll get to work on the yard signs. Wood pickets or metal stakes(in case things get ugly we're armed)

[RuSsMaN]

I'd say wood stakes for the economy of it all, but a lot of haters will be driving up into lawns to run them over.

Go with the metal (I'll take up a collection, or do some simple fraud / identity theft to make up the difference) - maybe we can peirce the tranny pan, or cut some lines on the undercarriage while they are trenching.

Cheers,
Russ

[shadowofnight]

This is the type of forum we USED to have.....doesn't it feel good?

Its a kick ass forum....just hope a few whining easily offended PC members dont ruin it.

[ohskigod]

wont be for lack of trying :rolleyes:


by the way, would have stood on the front lawn of Polk HQ in a banana hammock until Jesse was freed. That would have ended the ordeal toot sweet :p

[BaggedLancer]

I'd say wood stakes for the economy of it all, but a lot of haters will be driving up into lawns to run them over.

Go with the metal (I'll take up a collection, or do some simple fraud / identity theft to make up the difference) - maybe we can peirce the tranny pan, or cut some lines on the undercarriage while they are trenching.

Cheers,
Russ


Ok, I think I'll do some in wood and some metal depending on how much we can collect.

I have some extra POLKSTANDs so I'll get to work converting those into pickets(since they are so tall!) for the signs to free Jesse in the future.

[F1nut]

wont be for lack of trying :rolleyes:

That's for damn sure.


by the way, would have stood on the front lawn of Polk HQ in a banana hammock until Jesse was freed. That would have ended the ordeal toot sweet :p


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.......my eyes, oh my eyes! :eek:

[hearingimpared]

Yep this house has got back to being fun again!!! It was all okay until around late August/September!!!

BTW I've been perusing the "Hall of Shame." Ahem some people have really mellowed, cough Russ, cough Jesse, cough Mark, cough Strong Bad. . . Troy's the same though!!!;):p

It's good to be laughing again and not drinking Maalox by the six packs!!!:D

[hearingimpared]

by the way, would have stood on the front lawn of Polk HQ in a banana hammock until Jesse was freed. That would have ended the ordeal toot sweet :p

Louie that thing would have to have been made with elephant hide to hold your massiveness up!!!:D

[shack]

would have stood on the front lawn of Polk HQ in a banana hammock until Jesse was freed. That would have ended the ordeal ...toot sweet :p

You don't speak French do you Lou?

It's "tout de suite"...not...toot sweet (What is that anyway? A nice smelling fart :confused: )

[shack]

This thread got me thinking.

There are obviously some members here that are temporarily without a "significant other" and therefore unable to experience the pleasure brought on by using the Troy mask Russ has so kindly made available. That seems somehow unfair. What better opportunity for Polk to do a little marketing while making Troy available to the unattached (or just kinky) masses. I present to you the anatomically correct TroyD blowup doll...

[TroyD]

Damn, I'm one sexy bee-yotch.

We could make a fortune with this thing.

BDT

[TroyD]

Damn, I'm one sexy bee-yotch.

We could make a fortune with this thing.

BDT

[dorokusai]

Two in the pink, one in the stink.

[reeltrouble1]

Damn, I'm one sexy bee-yotch.

BDT

Jesse may be over the border bad but dreams of you shakin your groove thing are over the big top.

RT1

[Fireman32]

wont be for lack of trying :rolleyes:


by the way, would have stood on the front lawn of Polk HQ in a banana hammock until Jesse was freed. That would have ended the ordeal toot sweet :p

Thanks Lou I just threw up all over my computer.

[strider]

Louie that thing would have to have been made with elephant hide to hold your massiveness up!!!:D

Umm, Joe, errr, I think that you may be misunderstanding the popular definition of banana hammock. Please see below:

http://www.filmfodder.com/reviews/archives/borat.jpg

If not, no worries. I still like you for who you are, and congraulations are due to Lou.....

[hearingimpared]

Yes sir that is exactly what I am talking about! There is not a banana hammock in this world that can fit around Louie's neck.

[ohskigod]

or my...............ummmmm, nevermind :D



oh, and shack "toot sweet" is my way of using the phrase and still boycotting all things french :p

[hearingimpared]

or my...............ummmmm, nevermind :D



Okay, okay that too!:D

[shack]

or my...............ummmmm, nevermind :D



oh, and shack "toot sweet" is my way of using the phrase and still boycotting all things french :p

Wait just a minute....I KNOW you eat french fries...:eek:

[bobman1235]

FREEDOM fries.



;)