Write Your Dear Santa Letters Here

[candyliquor35m]

It's not too late or early to start making that list and what better place to do it than here where your friends can scrutinize (make fun) it :D .

Dear Santa,

Just more socks and underwear please like you always bring me.

Please don't fill them with reindeer poop this year.

carl

[dorokusai]

Dear Santa,

F You.

Love,
Mark

[Skynut]

I would like a Paris Hilton love slave

[RuSsMaN]

Dear Santa,

I know my behavior has been spotty this year, but I pray to you for forgiveness. You are the only one that can forgive me most merciful Santa. Your compassionate grace is what made blind men walk again, and those who are deaf so funny sounding. Please most gracious and giant Santa, assist me with thy mace, so that I might smite my enemies and cause them permanent damage around the taint when they are glancing away.

I beseech thee, oh Kringle, you must help me. You are my only hope. Boba Fett is near, and he's as horny as a three dollar bill. In return for your forgiveness, oh Jolly-Nick all I ask for is a new car of some sort. Something sporty, but not too "look at me, I have a small penis". Basically, nothing Jesse would drive.

I have a friend named Dorokusai. His real name is Mark, but some people call him Doro. He's my best friend. I hope I don't have to kill him anytime soon. I have another friend named Troy, but I don't like him that much. In fact, one of these days I'm going to chop his head off with a hoe.

I must go now, Subject of 12 days. Please consider my requests and respond only positively, because everyone knows I am the only one that still believes in you, except that Virginia girl. But that was like a hundred years ago, and she's dead. Just like Dale Earnhardt.

Cheers,
Russ

PS, Please pass this to John Ritter when you are finished.

[phoneisbusy]

So, the stuff we can't post in the Polk RTi-6 karma goes here?

regards

Dave

[F1nut]

Gee Russ, seeing as I drive a 7 passenger minivan that should have told you that I have the utmost confidence in my man tool. :D

[masanz1]

Dear Santa

Please make it so I am not broke at the end of this season. Make it so I can actually use my tax return for a nice vacation instead of paying off credit card debt. Let my children really enjoy that Wii that I woke up so early in the morning to get, only to have to give you credit for getting it without you having to lift a finger. You know Santa, that really urks me!!. More I think about it I agree with Mark.

Merry Xmas Jack

Matt

[Frank Z]

Dear Santa,

I'm worried about Russman. He's got the heart of a seven year old boy. It's in a glass jar on his mantle. Get him some help please.

Frank Z.

[dkg999]

Dear Santa,

Thank you for the new .308 AR10 Rifle last year, I have been a good boy and practiced a lot.

This year either pull the sleigh around back and dump all the packages or I take off Rudolph's nose :eek:

Have a Merry F'ing Christmas, don't bother stopping in Seattle, they hate you!

Doug.

[petrym]

Dear Santa,
As the official secular representative of all that is nonreligious, please return my youthful idealism! I have too many wives and too many kids, (yeah one and two is still a legal limit) but I need to make a trek to the next Polkfest in order to meet these fellow goofy audio freaks. Amen.
Michael

[Polk65]

Dear Santa,

I have a friend named Dorokusai.

Dear Santa,

Keep sending those little pills. When I read this sentence the first time, my eyes read it as "I have a reindeer named Dorokusai".

Merry Mistletoe

[SCompRacer]

Dear Santa,

Please stop marking my sons unopened letters RTS. We know you still live up there. He swears the wires on the roof were there to melt the ice and snow for you. Tell Rudolph he doesn't use the bull setting anymore.

Our Best,

[shack]

Dear Santa,

I was going to ask for Paris Hilton BEFORE Skynut has his way with her...But what the hell...one more won't matter.

[Refefer]

Dear Santa,

I want to file a complaint. I know I asked you down for Christmas dinner last year, so I should take half the blame with what happened afterwards, but I really think you were out of line.

I mean, I'm glad you showed up and all, but I was expecting your normal attire, you know, the Red suit with jolly hat and a big white beard, not the leather studded thong with the shirt that said "Poke me with your finger, and I'll poke you with my 'finger'". I understand that being dressed up in the same attire each year probably gets tiring, but I think something a little more conservative might have gone down better. And for the record, I never poked you, so you keep your damn "finger" away from me next time.

And what about taking indecent liberties with my dog when you thought I wasn't looking? Yes, I saw what you were doing with that candlestick and I can tell you I didn't approve. It was in bad taste Saint Nick. Now Scrappy can't walk straight anymore and runs away barking fearfully every time I bring out the candelabra. And no, I don't want to hear about what you and the elves do when you get "lonely" up north: it doesn't justify what you did.

I also didn't like how you tried to take "souvenirs" from different rooms of my house. Yes, I didn't mind giving you a parting gift of some left over ham, but my big screen tv and my wallet were not to be included. I also didn't approve of how you tried to "borrow" my car. You're supposed to ask first.

Anyways, I will not be inviting you back any time soon.

Merry f'in Christmas to you.

-A

[Strong Bad]

Dear Santa:

I want to be invited to the Playboy Mansion and be sexually destroyed by every playmate there. Please make this happen.

Yours truly,

Strongbad

[MSALLA]

Dear Santa:
I have been doing your job for the last 14 years. Where the hell have you been.The 14 year olds list is getting expensive and the wife is giving new meaning to the term "high maintenance" . Get your ass back on the clock and get your job done. While your here, bring me some ohlene's for the bike.

[Fireman32]

Dear Santa

Please bring me a pair of SDA's and a house to store them in as I have no room for anymore equipment.

Fireman32

[beardog03]

Dear Santa,

Bring my tube mono blocks this time...

I know where you live....

Beardog

[hearingimpared]

Dear Santa,

Please make my wife as horny as I am;

Please make my wife let me spend more time on the Polk Forum;

Please make my wife let me spend thousands on audio gear;

Ahhhhh little selfish there,

Okay just ask God to Bless My New Home and Family & Polk Friends.

Thanks,

The Loony Tune from Philly and now Newark, DE.

[KentVaughn]

Dear Santa,

Beer.

Thanks.

[mrbigbluelight]

Dear Santa,

Please tell Mrs. Santa that she should stop using the salve and immediately switch to using the ointment in the red tube. The inflamation and swelling should go down in 2 to 3 weeks.

At least it did for me.

[univera]

Dear Santa,

Please come to my home and fix the SDA-SRS speakers which have been non-working for many months. They have a bad polyswitch and an original tweeter with a stripped screw that I can't remove. I miss that big, open sound and have $2500 worth of new tube gear and tweeters I've never gotten to hear other than Polkfest 2006. I would give up my two front teeth in return for a fully functioning set of speakers.

[hearingimpared]

Dear Santa,

Please come to my home and fix the SDA-SRS speakers which have been non-working for many months. They have a bad polyswitch and an original tweeter with a stripped screw that I can't remove. I miss that big, open sound and have $2500 worth of new tube gear and tweeters I've never gotten to hear other than Polkfest 2006. I would give up my two front teeth in return for a fully functioning set of speakers.


I feel your pain. . . I too have tons of equipment waiting to be heard for months but my problem was waiting on an abode.

Can't you drill the screw out? Can't you get a replacement for the polyswitch?

[cfrizz]

Dear Santa,

By all means go over to Uni's & fix his SDA's! On your way out REMOVE his 2 front teeth!

When he spends a year or more getting them replaced & spending over $6,000.00 to do so, he will be begging you to give them back!:D :p

Dear Santa,

Please come to my home and fix the SDA-SRS speakers which have been non-working for many months. They have a bad polyswitch and an original tweeter with a stripped screw that I can't remove. I miss that big, open sound and have $2500 worth of new tube gear and tweeters I've never gotten to hear other than Polkfest 2006. I would give up my two front teeth in return for a fully functioning set of speakers.

[hearingimpared]

Dear Santa,

By all means go over to Uni's & fix his SDA's! On your way out REMOVE his 2 front teeth!

When he spends a year or more getting them replaced & spending over $6,000.00 to do so, he will be begging you to give them back!:D :p

LOL Cathy!

[George Grand]

Santa,

I'd appreciate very light freak traffic in my home during the holidaze. I mean it this year Santa.

George

[hearingimpared]

Gee Russ, seeing as I drive a 7 passenger minivan

Is that to deliver Santa Claus' reindeer?

[avguytx]

Hey, here's the original post that F1's been getting his balls busted for using again this year! :D

[RuSsMaN]

F1? You moron. It's ME, Russ that is having the proverbial ball grazing.

Besides, I have flowing locks, Jesse is the cement head.

[avguytx]

Oh yeah....sheesh. I knew that! :D :o

[cfrizz]

:D Whoops!:D
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAA!

I'm cryin here!:D

[Ricardo]

Dear Santa,

Please don't let me get banned this year.

or next.

[hearingimpared]

Amen!

[fatchowmein]

Dear Santa,
Please explain how you manage to get to all those houses in one evening and how you manage to manipulate matter, particular yours, to fit down a chimney. We'll worry about how you open up the chimneys and bypass alarm systems and sleeping dogs later. If you would help us out, we should be able to manipulate matter and energy to provide an unlimited source of energy, or something close to it, and possibly end some wars, start others, and take a step closer to ending world hunger barring political, religious, and distribution problems.

Isn't that more important than making sure some good kid got a bicycle for Christmas?