Favortie George Grand-isms

[RuSsMaN]

Let em rip, our resident wordsmith sure has a way of telling it like it is sometimes, no?

Here are a couple of my favorites, to get the ball rolling.......

A baseball hat, worn fashionably backwards, is usually a sure sign of a complete moron.

If she sounds nice on the phone, or over the radio, she's tipping the scales at between 250 and 300.

The more lights and buzzers, the worse the piece will sound.

Dollar (or less) a watt. Fair price for anything usually.

Personally, I don't hold my flatus for anyone. You can get a wicked stomach ache that way. I know that you guys don't want me to get a stomach ache.


How about the sayings that are pure bullshit? Like, "What you can't see, can't hurt you." Obviously, this asshole never saw Predator. Or, like closing your eyes before you jump in a wood chipper is gonna help.

"Honesty is the best policy." Right. I have gotten the daylights beat out of me for telling the truth. Telling the truth is situational.

"A bird in the hand, is worth two in the bush." ANYBODY have ANY damn idea what this is supposed to mean? Who do you sell birds TO, IF you have /catch one?

"Better to be safe than sorry." Ever see the babes that hang out with the "safe" guys? No thanks.

"Any landing you can walk away from....." BULLSHIT! It's a lot better if you can USE THE AIRPLANE AGAIN after you walk away.


So he could easily have said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Which would have not been any better, because WHO has chickens? Maybe chicken farmers. A fine piece of country advice. What good does it do the average guy trying to date Puerto Rican girls in New York? Watch.

Puerto Rican guy - "How come you sniffing around my woman?"

Young George - "Cause she's fine, and I didn't think you were around, and I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch."

Puerto Rican guy - "Let's go outside and I'm gonna help you count you chickens out there."

See.


Cheers,
Russ

[TroyD]

A long time ago, I actually set foot in Yankee Stadium (indian territory for ANY Brooklyn Dodger fan), and watched the jack-booted, Waffen SS, scumbag New York Yankee's play a game. It's something I'm not proud of, but hey, it happened.
PEOPLE DO MAKE MISTAKES.....but I don't know about this Bose shit Aaron.


Crackpot

Man, I gotta hit the archives...George has got panache coming out the wazoo.

BDT

[TroyD]

Man stop bugging me! You're jamming up my concentration. I'm in the middle of teaching guys how to fish for bread.


Rye Cooder

More classic George (interacting with Darrin the Lunatic)

BDT

[cmy330go]

A little out of context, but it still made me laugh.

.....We are very UNFORTUNATE not to have dbartol (Darrin the Lunatic) around anymore. He was a good friend, loved to help me pound on Snake,....

I have a feeling this is going to be a GREAT thread.

[BobMcG]

This one to Polk's Justin is cute.

Bet when you were younger you had to ride the bus. The little one at that. Still have the helmet?

George Grand (of the Jersey Grand's)

[McLoki]

Anyone else catch the irony of getting turned on looking at another mans wife (moses' no less) while watching the Ten Commandments?

Here in Jersey, The 10 Commandments is airing right now. Check it out and get a load of what Lily Munster looked like in her hayday. She plays Moses' wife. Man, there's heat rays coming off her.

[McLoki]

Then again he does know how to apologize...

You "thought", and that thought was wrong. hence, your thinking was wrong, which in my world means the opposite of right, which in my world means "incorrect" or diametrecally opposed to being "right" which is as far from correct as one can be. HOWEVER, you did add a question mark at the end of the sentence, even though the sentence wasn't in the form of a question, it was in the form of a statement. A thousand pardons. No, TWO thousand pardons. I'm wrong. I'm ALWAYS wrong.

[shack]

George on being stupid....

Please tell me you're not as stupid as you sound. If you can't say that, try not saying anything.

Hey stupid, has it occurred to you that each and every person that has posted on this thread is sitting at home in front of their computer, laughing their asses off at how dumb you are. Did you think about that? Do you think?
I noticed that this knuckleheads threads disappear fairly quickly. What pray tell are the chances his stupid, long-winded self got banned or eaten by a pterodactyl.

Try to do something special for SOMEONE special, and that little loser is too stupid to realize it's not a good time to be him and stupid.

[Nisqually Dave]

Oh Please I remember rollling on the floor over some of these comments, We should publish a book of these. Now if I could Just remember who I was back then?

[George Grand]

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you've fed him for life."

The intent of this is obviously noble, but not at all helpful to me. I don't eat fish. I am a true carnivore, only eating meat. Show me how to catch a steak or a cheeseburger (maybe even a nice Chicken Kiev) with a fish, and I won't bother you anymore. You could also show me how to catch any of the above mentioned with a salad, and it would also be helpful, cause I don't like too much in the way of grassy material either.

[schwarcw]

"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you've fed him for life."

The intent of this is obviously noble, but not at all helpful to me. I don't eat fish. I am a true carnivore, only eating meat. Show me how to catch a steak or a cheeseburger (maybe even a nice Chicken Kiev) with a fish, and I won't bother you anymore. You could also show me how to catch any of the above mentioned with a salad, and it would also be helpful, cause I don't like too much in the way of grassy material either.

Call "The Outback"! They catch it, cook it and bag it for you. They offer reserved parking for pickup and if you give them a credit card, they'll bring it to your car. You can go in your jammies! I think Applebee's Ruby Tuesday's and Fridays offer this service also. I've done it myself.

Please send $50 consulting fee.