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View Full Version : Get the hell off the forum!!!!


SolidSqual
10-22-2007, 09:33 PM
Everyone get off their computers and go listen to your music!!!!!! All this drama lately is wearing me out. Ugh.

fireshoes
10-22-2007, 09:34 PM
Drama?

RuSsMaN
10-22-2007, 09:46 PM
He's talking about the turd that won't flush.

hearingimpared
10-22-2007, 09:52 PM
Can't get off, haven't laughed this hard in years!!!

treitz3
10-22-2007, 11:18 PM
Can't get off
TMI brother. Keep that to yourself. ;) :D

hearingimpared
10-22-2007, 11:19 PM
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Demiurge
10-22-2007, 11:22 PM
Don't make a mitten out of your toilet paper or that deuce will never clear.

shadowofnight
10-22-2007, 11:29 PM
Don't make a mitten out of your toilet paper or that deuce will never clear.


I'll go to the opposite spectrum...anybody who can actually use the recommended 3 sheets to wipe is a Criss Angel illusionist in my book :)

BaggedLancer
10-22-2007, 11:33 PM
I'll go to the opposite spectrum...anybody who can actually use the recommended 3 sheets to wipe is a Criss Angel illusionist in my book :)

One sheet at a time......that's how you do it.

ohskigod
10-22-2007, 11:36 PM
One sheet at a time......that's how you do it.


one sheet is the equivalent of shooting a spitball up my arse. take wiping hand, wrap it no less than twice with tp, three is your dealing with the "clay consistency" issue (if you don't know, DO NOT ASK!!!!)

thats how I roll..........pun FULLY intended ;)

Demiurge
10-22-2007, 11:43 PM
Mudbutt?

Man, we're talking about asswipes in 2 different threads tonight.

BaggedLancer
10-22-2007, 11:47 PM
I like when it's so solid that you don't even need a wipe. Those are the turds I enjoy.

hearingimpared
10-22-2007, 11:52 PM
Man, we're talking about asswipes in 2 different threads tonight.

I just shot coffee all over my keyboard and screen!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard, this long continuously! You gotta hand it to SpecK though he is truely like the Energizer Bunny. It is a little scary.

shadowofnight
10-22-2007, 11:54 PM
Hahahhahahaa...omg....I gotta stop laughing like this.....kinda like I am laughing at this monday night game....

shadowofnight
10-22-2007, 11:56 PM
I like when it's so solid that you don't even need a wipe. Those are the turds I enjoy.

But disappointment sets in when you realize you just wasted that one sheet.....

BaggedLancer
10-22-2007, 11:58 PM
But disappointment sets in when you realize you just wasted that one sheet.....

Haha, it's better when you think you had that solid one, you look back just to double check and confirm, and then you stand up without wiping at all. :D

ka7niq
10-23-2007, 12:03 AM
He's talking about the turd that won't flush.
Ya certainly do not mean me do you Mr Moderator ?

BaggedLancer
10-23-2007, 12:04 AM
Ya certainly do not mean me do you Mr Moderator ?

He was talkinga bout a plumbing problem in his house. This forum isn't just about audio.

You have never flushed a toilet and the turd comes back up? I guess those stainless steel toilets are better than I expected.

Demiurge
10-23-2007, 12:04 AM
Ya certainly do not mean me do you Mr Moderator ?

No, you're the maggot covered turd in the outhouse.

hearingimpared
10-23-2007, 12:05 AM
If you don't do a good job later on you get that assy smell!!!

P U

hearingimpared
10-23-2007, 12:07 AM
Ya certainly do not mean me do you Mr Moderator ?

You have got to be kidding. Man you really are a psychopathic sociopath who just can't seem to get enough! Jeez if you weren't behind bars I would be wondering how safe Tampa really is.

tommyboy
10-23-2007, 12:07 AM
Haha, it's better when you think you had that solid one, you look back just to double check and confirm, and then you stand up without wiping at all. :D

Yeah,Then you run back 10 minutes later cause your crack itches like hell. And the shit stains:eek: , I learned my lesson a long time ago:)

RuSsMaN
10-23-2007, 12:07 AM
Mudbutt?

I had fried chicken induced mudbutt the other day. I swear, I probably could have sold it to Nasa as a new space age super lubricant. I had to wipe like 15 times. Got it all over my right ass cheek, my hand.....

BaggedLancer
10-23-2007, 12:08 AM
I had fried chicken induced mudbutt the other day. I swear, I probably could have sold it to Nasa as a new space age super lubricant. I had to wipe like 15 times. Got it all over my right ass cheek, my hand.....

Oh man, the hand......i hate when the paper breaks midwipe.....

bigaudiofanatic
10-23-2007, 12:09 AM
SolidSqual is it you speacial time of the mounth?

hearingimpared
10-23-2007, 12:10 AM
I have to use baby heiney wipes and dig up there to get it all out or else I'm plagued with I A the rest of the day!

bigaudiofanatic
10-23-2007, 12:13 AM
The Best part is I can do both. My computer is hooked up to my stereo and there in the same room. HA

treitz3
10-23-2007, 12:15 AM
Ya certainly do not mean me do you Mr Moderator ?
You are so silly. He's talking about me. Get a fuc*ing clue!

He's been trying to get rid of this turd for a while.

bigaudiofanatic
10-23-2007, 12:18 AM
O well still funny.

Demiurge
10-23-2007, 12:24 AM
I had fried chicken induced mudbutt the other day. I swear, I probably could have sold it to Nasa as a new space age super lubricant. I had to wipe like 15 times. Got it all over my right ass cheek, my hand.....

Kind of like Olean in those WoW chips. Guaranteed to give Dungarees a literal meaning every time.

RuSsMaN
10-23-2007, 12:33 AM
Olean. I though they banned that stuff, they still use it? I remember when it first hit the market YEARS ago - they made Pringles with it.

I tried some and had the green apple splatters for DAYS.

avguytx
10-23-2007, 12:37 AM
I had fried chicken induced mudbutt the other day. I swear, I probably could have sold it to Nasa as a new space age super lubricant. I had to wipe like 15 times. Got it all over my right ass cheek, my hand.....

Wow...that was a LOT of information there, Russ!

But...been there, done that. :D I took a big ka7niq earlier myself. Just seemed to have to keep wiping. Thankfully, I had a couple more rolls of TP close by.

BaggedLancer
10-23-2007, 12:39 AM
Olean. I though they banned that stuff, they still use it? I remember when it first hit the market YEARS ago - they made Pringles with it.

I tried some and had the green apple splatters for DAYS.


First time I had Olean it made me so sick I almost ended up going to the doctor. 2 days I had splatters and spray and could barely walk for a couple hours after each one.

Face
10-23-2007, 12:47 AM
I have tears in my eyes over here. :D

hearingimpared
10-23-2007, 12:51 AM
Shoot I ran out. Now there is just sore eyes and cramped rib muscles.

heiney9
10-23-2007, 01:22 AM
Olean. I though they banned that stuff, they still use it? I remember when it first hit the market YEARS ago - they made Pringles with it.

I tried some and had the green apple splatters for DAYS.

They have a similar substance now and I grabbed a can of Pringles the other day not paying attention. Got home popped the top ate about 6 handfuls before I realized that paistie feeling in my mouth and flavorless bbq. Looked at the label and they were FAT FREE with Olean derived synthetic oil.

Had the runs for a few days...........YUCK.

hearingimpared
10-23-2007, 01:33 AM
They have a similar substance now and I grabbed a can of Pringles the other day not paying attention. Got home popped the top ate about 6 handfuls before I realized that paistie feeling in my mouth and flavorless bbq. Looked at the label and they were FAT FREE with Olean derived synthetic oil.

Had the runs for a few days...........YUCK.

Isn't that like the stuff ABOlean that porn stars use for the nastie stuff?

avguytx
10-23-2007, 01:35 AM
Isn't that like the stuff ABOlean that porn stars use for the nastie stuff?

Whew...that was close! I almost yacked on that one!

heiney9
10-23-2007, 01:35 AM
It's called Olestra now and it's just as nasty as Olean was. :D

hearingimpared
10-23-2007, 01:41 AM
It's called Olestra now and it's just as nasty as Olean was. :D

Yeah but Olean comes out!:eek: :D ABOlean, well you get the idea.

mrbigbluelight
10-23-2007, 07:52 AM
Don't make a mitten out of your toilet paper or that deuce will never clear.


You know ..... that's words to live by.


:)

mrbigbluelight
10-23-2007, 07:53 AM
Now I'm post whoring.

:p

george daniel
10-23-2007, 08:04 AM
Collards :eek:

SolidSqual
10-23-2007, 08:05 AM
Sorry . . . I get bitchy when I'm ampless. It's quite painful to look at thousands of dollars worth of gear suddenly become worthless when one piece is removed. Ahhhhhh . . . but my new amp will arrive today!

SolidSqual is it you speacial time of the mounth?

I thought I told you all to get the hell out of here! This thread does not speak highly of us all. I create a bullshit thread and receive the most posts ever. Maybe you all think I'm bullshit :(

. . . there's an awful lot of poop talk on this thread.

mrbigbluelight
10-23-2007, 08:54 AM
Poop talk, and people post whoring. :rolleyes:



I missed work today.


Thanks a lot. :)

edbert
10-23-2007, 09:36 AM
In order to wipe, do you stand up or stay sitting? Do you wad or roll? Front to back or back to front?

Oh yeah, and using a baby wipe to finish up is pretty nice.

Oh and Russman, to get rid of that turd that won't flush, pour about 1/4 a cup of Dawn, Palmolive, or whatever dish soap you have in the bowl followed by a pot of hot but not boiling water. Let it sit for a while then flush. Your computer will be screwed, but the turd will flush and will clean the toilet at the same time!

(this works for actual toilet clogs, just did it last week after a plunger would not work)

hearingimpared
10-23-2007, 03:23 PM
In order to wipe, do you stand up or stay sitting? Do you wad or roll? Front to back or back to front?

Oh yeah, and using a baby wipe to finish up is pretty nice.

Oh and Russman, to get rid of that turd that won't flush, pour about 1/4 a cup of Dawn, Palmolive, or whatever dish soap you have in the bowl followed by a pot of hot but not boiling water. Let it sit for a while then flush. Your computer will be screwed, but the turd will flush and will clean the toilet at the same time!

(this works for actual toilet clogs, just did it last week after a plunger would not work)

Yuck - a -rooney!

jflail2
10-23-2007, 04:12 PM
In order to wipe, do you stand up or stay sitting? Do you wad or roll? Front to back or back to front?

Oh yeah, and using a baby wipe to finish up is pretty nice.

Oh and Russman, to get rid of that turd that won't flush, pour about 1/4 a cup of Dawn, Palmolive, or whatever dish soap you have in the bowl followed by a pot of hot but not boiling water. Let it sit for a while then flush. Your computer will be screwed, but the turd will flush and will clean the toilet at the same time!

(this works for actual toilet clogs, just did it last week after a plunger would not work)

Sitting unless its a momentous occasion. One of those that burns so bad you have to stand up....or if it's so gargantuan you can't help but sneak a peek before you cover it up with tp.

Who would wipe back to front??? I certainly don't want any miscellaneous poo smears on the old pouch of coins. I'm a firm believer in front to back only!

Never tried the baby wipes bit. I can imagine feeling much cleaner, but I'd have to stand and air dry before I pulled my pants back up, or the trade off just wouldn't be worth it.

Anyone a bidet fan? I couldn't imagine using one, and just don't see what the appeal is. I've got a shower if I get that durty....

Face
10-23-2007, 04:35 PM
Use dry toilet paper to dry off after using wipes.

Demiurge
10-23-2007, 04:42 PM
This makes me laugh, and I think the poop thread is a great place for it.

NSFW!

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yb1hXigxUKM&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yb1hXigxUKM&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

jflail2
10-23-2007, 04:55 PM
Hahahaha, nice Demi; I was dying.

"Another one of them facials." Oh my........

jdhdiggs
10-23-2007, 04:57 PM
Now THAT was funny!

shadowofnight
10-23-2007, 05:06 PM
She does work it well.....

hearingimpared
10-23-2007, 05:16 PM
That was hilarious. I think the backround music is what made it!!! Just a Love Machine!!!

BaggedLancer
10-23-2007, 05:48 PM
LOL that was effin hilarious

dawningphoenix
10-23-2007, 06:31 PM
That pretty much made my day.

Polk addict
10-23-2007, 07:50 PM
What the hell has been going on?? I don't get it copy paste I don't get it !

SolidSqual
10-23-2007, 07:52 PM
Ya' snooze ya' lose. Anyone ever tried Metamucil? My girlfriend is plugged up which means I get no lovin'.

shack
10-23-2007, 08:20 PM
Damn...I'm sweating here....

I'll never be able to watch her on the Food Channel in quite the same way I used to...

treitz3
10-23-2007, 08:27 PM
Damn...I'm sweating here....

I'll never be able to watch her on the Food Channel in quite the same way I used to...

X2....She just moved up a notch or ten in my book! ;) :D

Gives the meaning of "cooking" a whole new meaning.

shack
10-23-2007, 08:39 PM
Gives the meaning of "cooking" a whole new meaning.

The next time I see "get in the kitchen and bake me a pie" ...this is what will come to mind:

hearingimpared
10-23-2007, 08:43 PM
^^^ Wow my heart just skipped a beat!!!

shack
10-23-2007, 08:46 PM
Pullin' the old wishbone at Thanksgiving....well...

jflail2
10-23-2007, 08:51 PM
Those are awesome photoshop jobs, I just wish the size of her head matched her body a bit better!

Still, between her and that Giada lady, I can't say I mind watching the cooking channel with the old lady :)

shack
10-23-2007, 09:03 PM
Those are awesome photoshop jobs, I just wish the size of her head matched her body a bit better!

Those are actual photos from her FHM shoot in 2003. No photoshop.

fireshoes
10-23-2007, 09:13 PM
Which makes it that much funnier! :D

jflail2
10-23-2007, 09:15 PM
Holy crap..........

SolidSqual
10-23-2007, 09:19 PM
Are there any with her holding a turkey baster?

treitz3
10-23-2007, 09:21 PM
.......in a certain location?

Demiurge
10-23-2007, 10:25 PM
Ghetto Leprechaun

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nda_OSWeyn8&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nda_OSWeyn8&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

hearingimpared
10-23-2007, 10:35 PM
I've seen that before, I believe the Leprechaun flute was the bong version of a crack pipe.

Demiurge
10-24-2007, 07:02 PM
I was watching Rachel on her show today and she made this following comments about her cloves of garlic "Look at the size of this one! Oooh, he's a big boy, isn't he?" :D:D:p

sucks2beme
10-24-2007, 07:20 PM
Wow. A lovely young lady wearing few clothes bearing a pie.
Other that the classic female preamp REMOTE(very hot photo),
I counldn't think of a better combo. Does someone have
an automatic vinyl "side flipper" photo they could post?

engtaz
10-24-2007, 08:20 PM
I have seen that before. Too funny.

engtaz

tommyboy
10-24-2007, 08:31 PM
I've seen that before, I believe the Leprechaun flute was the bong version of a crack pipe.

And it was passed down thousands of years by his great great grandfather who is Irish.

......Wow......

wingnut4772
10-24-2007, 08:40 PM
That was the best amateur sketch! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

agfrost
10-24-2007, 09:16 PM
Here's something from a site I used to visit ~10 years ago, afrosquad.com . There was a video "commercial" that went along with it that was pretty good, and had the Charlie Brown theme music as the soundtrack. Site's been gone for some years, but the image lives on - It'll have to be good enough.

Quintuple Fecal Protection!

Jay

Dang-Of course it's returned in the time since I last checked!

Marginally SFW
<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gn59oWzatZA"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gn59oWzatZA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

Ron-P
10-24-2007, 09:50 PM
PLAY THIS.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz2hFqbwosw

Only the hottest woman on the planet.

wingnut4772
10-24-2007, 10:00 PM
PLAY THIS.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz2hFqbwosw

Only the hottest woman on the planet.

Good Lord. I bet they don't show that here in the States.

SolidSqual
10-24-2007, 10:06 PM
That was gold.

wingnut4772
10-24-2007, 10:15 PM
I always liked her in this also...
<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1xSLpoQdRrU&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1xSLpoQdRrU&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

I mean who else could captivate by merely writhing around on a beach towel?:D

hearingimpared
10-25-2007, 12:01 AM
"Get the butter"
.........................Marlon Brando "Last Tango in Paris"...........