female advice

[pmckeealaska]

Ok,

So I figured I'd write me esteemed Polk Heads with decidedly non audio advice. I went to a party Friday night and an amazing woman who also happens to work in my field (biologist). She initiated the conversation and there was some good sparring between the two of us. I really think there was a connection there, but i have been so out of the dating scene for so long I forgot how it works sometimes. Anyway, I went off to get another beer after she started talking to another woman at the party. As she was getting ready to leave, I could see her checking me out, so I went up to her and made a point of telling her how much I'd enjoyed meeting her. Again, there seemed to be something there.

So I found out through a friend that he works with her and so I know her work email. My question is this: Is it innappropriate to email her at work and pursue this, or should I try another avenue. What do the women on the forum think? Dont want this one to get away!

[danger boy]

i'm not a women, but good advice can come from another dude too.. go after her. what are you waiting for? If you email her at work, just be discreet and maybe ask her out to dinner, or a movie. Cliche' I know, but dinner's out work great for getting to know someone.

we humans spend way to much time persuing compatible mates... and not enough time actually getting to know them.

go for it, as you said, you felt some spark there... and it appears that she showed more than just a passing interest in you. you're an adult, be an adult about it and not a 13 yr old boy with a crush on a cute girl.

good luck.. i'm rootin' for ya. ;)

[PolkThug]

Do not email her. Have your friend drop a hint, "So, I heard you met one of my friends at a party, he thinks you're pretty cool...." Then see what her reaction is.

[nms]

Completely unqualified advice, but maybe try to get a outside of work email from her to continue correspondence...

[petrym]

You should have asked her for contact info at the party - I wouldn't go the through the backdoor by emailing her since (to me at least) that almost looks like you're sneaking/stalking up on her.

Michael
(Not even female, but married for 20 years so I know what those fickle creatures are like... goofy ;))

[BaggedLancer]

Do not email her. Have your friend drop a hint, "So, I heard you met one of my friends at a party, he thinks you're pretty cool...." Then see what her reaction is.

Agreed, because you got her email from your friend and not her she might find it a bit intrusive. Have your friend drop a hint and maybe add "he went looking for you to get your phone number but you were already gone" or something like that.

[petrym]

Do not email her. Have your friend drop a hint, "So, I heard you met one of my friends at a party, he thinks you're pretty cool...." Then see what her reaction is.
+1 on this response. :D

[WilliamM2]

Don't ask her out by e-mail. This happens to women I work with, and it seems to annoy them. Also makes it even easier to say "NO".

[dkg999]

One word of caution ......... company emails are company property. Do her a favor and have your friend ask is she would like you to have her outside work contact information. I've dealt with some "back to jr high" episodes here at work that were related to this subject, not fun!

[danger boy]

that's why you gotta be discreet about it.. i would never condone a continuing romance via company email. that's just wrong. but mention that you enjoyed meeting her at the party. and were hoping to get her phone number so you could keep in touch. then move your emails to a non company account. or better yet, call each other or meet in person over tapas !! ;)

[ben62670]

Stay away. Stay far away. Women are all evil. Even my mother is under suspicion:D

[Demiurge]

Do not email her. Have your friend drop a hint, "So, I heard you met one of my friends at a party, he thinks you're pretty cool...." Then see what her reaction is.

This.

[Samantha31]

i would never want to see that type of thing in my inbox. As others have said, get your friend to drop a few hints. Take it slow...and on that first date do not talk about you...talk about her :p

Sammi

[ninerbj]

Send her a picture of your Junk! Women like that. ;)

[BaggedLancer]

Send her a picture of your Junk! Women like that. ;)

I'm willing to be she doesn't want to see his audio equipment.....





KIDDING.

[PhantomOG]

Have your friend pass her a note with two check boxes... :p

[Jstas]

I would ask your friend to talk to her and tell that you found out that he and her work together and were interested in taking her out. Give him your name and phone number and get him to let her know you are interested. If she is, she'll call.

But yeah, emailing her through work, out of the blue is stalker-ish and qualifies as sexual harassment. She may have seemed in to you but you don't know 100% for sure so it's a risk you're gonna take. But if you are going to go and send her an email, that may turn her off completely and she'll go to the "principals office" on you and no date is worth your livelihood.

[sucks2beme]

Boy, sounds good, but damned if I know how to proceed.
Send a candygram and ask your friend to look in on her.
If it was well received, he can just act surprized and say
"hey, I know that guy!" And see if she takes the bait.
I'm sure he could drop your cellphone number if it goes well.
If not, at least you wouldn't have to get shot down directly.
And hope your friend doen't use the opening for his move.

I haven't been on the singles circuit in many decades.

[rskarvan]

Don't pursue it. If she's interested, she'll figure out a way for you two to get together. Just make sure your friend makes casual contact and mentions you so that she has a pathway available.

Once a woman gets her mind set on a guy, its just a matter of time before he falls.

Trust the process and, give up any illusion of control that you may hold.

[mrbigbluelight]

1. Definitely NO on the email thing.
2. Definitely YES on the "have a friend CASUALLY mention that you saw
her at a party and that he thinks you might be interested".

This gives her an easy out, or an easy in.
Win/Win.

"Oh, is that the guy that was dunking his biscuits in the punch bowl and asking the ladies if they wanted to bob for apples ?"

If she remembers that, you're in like Flynn.


:)

[Strong Bad]

Based on my numerous years of working in a stripclub....ahh nevermind.


John

[pmckeealaska]

Wow! All the responses. Well, my friend seems hesitant to tell her of my interest for some reason, or at least it's not a priority for him right now. He's happily married at any rate. I agree the whole email thing is a bad idea, but I do have her phone number at work. How about that? That way, there is no email trail associated with work and I'm using my own personal cell phone line to initiate contact.

[steveinaz]

Remember, the key to dating women at work without the worry of an EO complaint:

- Be attractive
- Be handsome
- Don't be unattractive

[LordSpeakaMinch]

Just call her up and:

1. Remind her of your conversation at the party. If she remembers you and acts receptive, then proceed with:


2. Casually mention that you told your friend that you met an interesting lady at the party, but she left before you could get her number. Turns out your friend was able to provide a work number. If she acts appreciative of your attention, then proceed with:


3. Tell her you would like to meet for lunch one day this week (i.e., "I would like to meet you for lunch one day this week." as opposed to "would you like to meet me for lunch?"). I trust you know what to do from here.

The entire conversation should take no more than 5 minutes. Good luck.

[Sherardp]

My vote for giving her a call and asking her to join you for lunch then perhaps dinner if that all goes well. And as Sammi mentioned, talk about her not so much about you. Women gripe when its all about I..... as in I do this, I own that, I blah blah blah. As guys we love it, however they dont.

[auto_pilot]

I say email, call her, send her smoke signals...etc.

If you feel a connection...then run with it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Worst that could happen is she says NO.

If you are a guy...then rejection is part of the territory.

[danger boy]

Wow! All the responses. Well, my friend seems hesitant to tell her of my interest for some reason, or at least it's not a priority for him right now. He's happily married at any rate. I agree the whole email thing is a bad idea, but I do have her phone number at work. How about that? That way, there is no email trail associated with work and I'm using my own personal cell phone line to initiate contact.

see if she has a MYSpace web page. and contact her that way.. it's away from work. and she might find it cute that you found her that way. worth a try..

if not.. just go up and punch her in the arm.. the way 12 yr old's do. :p

[danger boy]

Remember, the key to dating women at work without the worry of an EO complaint:

- Be attractive
- Be handsome
- Don't be unattractive

don't be a dick! ;)

[steveinaz]

Seriously though--women like to be persued..to a point. Don't listen to any of these "new generation" pussies who say (insert whiney voice) "but I want her to come to me" ...sheesh, good luck with that scooter. Reach down, grab hold of your stones and be a man, ask the girl out; that's what men do. Rejection? Who cares...nothing ventured, nothing gained.

My wife & I were good friends for 5 years before we ever dated. I saw my opportunity, and I grabbed it--she loved me almost instaneously--because I'm cool like that. No seriously...she really did. Anywho, Bev did this whole (insert chick voice) "but I don't want our friendship to be jepordized" thing....I said, "look here woman, first of all, lets keep it down to 1 syllable on the words...next, you've got us dating, engaged, married, and divorced all in 5 minutes...lets just take it easy, one step at a time, and be honest with how feel about each other."

She bought it, hook, line, & sinker, and later that night I got lucky.

Any more questions?

[BaggedLancer]

Steve,

You totally just called someone "Scooter".

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA that is funny. :D

The rest of the story is funny as well. Nice post :)

[steveinaz]

hey man, just doin' what I can to help a brother out.

[Early B.]

Anywho, Bev did this whole (insert chick voice) "but I don't want our friendship to be jepordized" thing....I said, "look here woman, first of all, lets keep it down to 1 syllable on the words...

:D:D:D:D:D

BTW -- did she give you her work number? If not, don't call or email her without her permission. Just go visit your friend at work and "accidentally" bump into her.

[steveinaz]

That's smooth Early, very smooth, I like your style you sneaky bastard.

[pmckeealaska]

Tool late guys. I called her at work. Found it out through friends. She was impressed that I put in thw work to find the information out. She said it was "sweet" that I was making the effort. Not sure what that means. She did remember who i was immediately though.

[steveinaz]

Tool late guys. I called her at work. Found it out through friends. She was impressed that I put in thw work to find the information out. She said it was "sweet" that I was making the effort. Not sure what that means. She did remember who i was immediately though.

See, you're so excited you're mis-spelling words. Calm down. Ok..we can do this man....you got her, all the signs are there..go in for the kill, dinner...wine...Kenny G..wait--scratch the Kenny G...um, Luther Vandross and chick flick. That's the ticket.

NOW.....just be yourself.

WAIT A MINUTE...you're in Alaska? Ah hell...ok, change of plan. Light the fire in the Igloo, ah...bring the sleigh dogs in for warmth...ummm..put her on the bear skin and start talkin all smooth-like. Trust me on this. Pretend like you're all interested in her dreams and junk, then....

[BaggedLancer]

Tool late guys. I called her at work. Found it out through friends. She was impressed that I put in thw work to find the information out. She said it was "sweet" that I was making the effort. Not sure what that means. She did remember who i was immediately though.


Great!

Now hit that.....I mean be yourself. :rolleyes:

[danger boy]

atta boy... good work. the rest is easy from here..... i think you can do the rest by yourself from here on out. ;)

[steveinaz]

...but...wait I have more...stuff...

[Early B.]

Tool late guys. I called her at work. Found it out through friends. She was impressed that I put in thw work to find the information out. She said it was "sweet" that I was making the effort. Not sure what that means. She did remember who i was immediately though.

Uh-oh. A red flag is on the field. She sounds desperate for a man. All I can say is...

RRRRUUNNNNN!!!!





Just kiddin'.

BTW -- did you close the deal? Translation -- did your telephone conversation yield a date?

[BaggedLancer]

Just kiddin'.

BTW -- did you close the deal? Translation -- did your telephone conversation yield a date?

That's not closing the deal! Misinformation! Closing the deal...is well....closing the deal. You know, the deal....

[Early B.]

That's not closing the deal! Misinformation! Closing the deal...is well....closing the deal. You know, the deal....

No, that's called f*ck*ng.

[BaggedLancer]

No, that's called f*ck*ng.

thanks for the educational fact of the day. We call it around here the deal.

[swerve]

edit:
didn't read thread before posting.
did you get a date.
hopefully she didn't just call you sweet and the conversation ended at that.

[mrbigbluelight]

She said it was "sweet" that I was making the effort. Not sure what that means.

She thinks you're gay, and wants you to come over and help iron doilies.

I think.

[pmckeealaska]

Well, it was kind of a mixed bag, but exactly what I expected. I was hesitant to call her, because when we were talking at the party, she was already talking to someone about how the party was her last chance for a few weeks to have fun becuase she is travelling for work. So I knew she probably wouldnt be around, but I figured if I didnt call her, she wouldnt remember who I was by the time she got back. So when I talked to her yesterday, she didnt say "no" per se, but just said she couldnt make any plans until her work travel slowed down. I gave her my number and she told me to call her in a couple of weeks if I didnt hear from her before then. Hard to say, but I think if she had wanted to just blow me off or had zero interest she would have said so. Believe me, this woman doesnt mince words. We shall see I guess.....

[DarqueKnight]

Oh, so she's "busy" huh? She has to eat doesn't she? How difficult or time consuming could it be to meet someone for a quick lunch--particularly if you are interested in finding out more about them?

Maybe she really is consumed with work. Maybe she wants to be chased a little bit. You have to determine whether she is worth playing this game.

[pmckeealaska]

She won't even be in town for the next 2 weeks, and I know this to be fact because I work in the same field and I know exactly where she's going to (big geeky science conference). This woman is definately worth the work. Beautiful, intelligent, nice; the full package.

[Danny Tse]

She won't even be in town for the next 2 weeks, and I know this to be fact because I work in the same field and I know exactly where she's going to (big geeky science conference). This woman is definately worth the work. Beautiful, intelligent, nice; the full package.

Just mark your calender and remember to call. And keep us in the loop, will ya? :D

[Early B.]

Got pics?

[steveinaz]

Sounds good man. she wants to see if you're in it for the long haul. Wait a few weeks and call her. Rome wasn't built in a day. You're right, if she wasn't interested, she would not have suggested you call her---

You know, back home in Missouri they called me the "woman whisperer" there's a reason for that young buck, stick with me on this and she'll be bossing you around in no time...LOL. I'm like Mel Gibson in "What Women Want"; I can hear their thoughts, I'm tuned to their needs, I can predict their next move...I have the powah.

To most women there are 2 kinds of attraction---there's the "spur of the moment" attraction, then there's the long term "you understand me" attraction. The latter is powerful ju-ju brother. Right now she wants to see if you just liked her for the moment---or do you want to know more...

[Samantha31]

LOL... you guys really crack me up!

Steve, your wife is one lucky girl (Insert Eye Roll Here)!

Just kidding!

[TroyD]

All you need to do is go to the 'Fun with Troy' thread and print the picture out. Put the elastic band around your melon.

You will be an INSTANT babe magnet.

I've been at this for awhile, it gets to be a hassle after awhile but you will adjust.

BDT

[steveinaz]

LOL... you guys really crack me up!

Steve, your wife is one lucky girl (Insert Eye Roll Here)!

Just kidding!

Go ahead, you can say it.....I'm right huh? Ain't I? My wife loves my behind--I'm so tuned into her, I get up and change the thermostat before she can say "I'm cold honey." :D That's why I get cool stuff at Christmas--I'm a finely tuned instrument.

[Samantha31]

Go ahead, you can say it.....I'm right huh? Ain't I? My wife loves my behind--I'm so tuned into her, I get up and change the thermostat before she can say "I'm cold honey." :D

So how cold does it get in Arizona ;)

Now back to topic...don't forget to bring flowers on that first date!

[dorokusai]

Let us know when you abduct her.

[steveinaz]

+1 on the flowers, always a good gesture--get her 3 roses. One red, one orange, one pink. Tell her the red one is her, the orange one is you; the pink one is "us." Dinner and a movie---movies are great because people tend to be brave in the dark; and theaters are usually cold, requiring said woman to hold on to you to stay warm. (security, protection, cavemen, it's all there)

Man I'm good. You can't buy this stuff. Dr. Phil ain't got shit on me. Oh, and make sure you bathe.

[pmckeealaska]

Remember to bathe. Man, I knew I was forgetting something!

Seriously though, I suspect that she is going to wait and see if I call her. I told her if I didnt hear from her before Christmas, I would call her myself, so thats the plan guys (and gals). I was told by someone at the party where I met her that she is on the lookout for a man, so I guess we shall see. I think I've made my position pretty clear to her.

[sda2mike]

yep, you shoulda got the info when you met her:) oh well. find out from your buddy where she might go on a friday after work for happy hour!;) then she'll be liquored up making it ea..........oh, never mind:p i would plan on meeting her face to face again. were in high party season, so it could happen again. good luck...and no emailing is wimpy:rolleyes:

[Danny Tse]

So you're skipping lunch and going straight to dinner?

I personally think movie is a bad idea on the first date....no chance to talk and find out about each other. It's not like you're going to put the moves on her in the dark....or will you?

[cfrizz]

Agreed with Danny. Start slow & go to lunch. If you can't do it during the weekday then go on the weekend.

Give her a choice, ask if she would like to go to lunch or to dinner.

[rlchap]

Sorry to barge in here, but I wanted to offer 2 cents. Dinner and a movie is a horrible way to get to know someone and actually have fun.(in my experience) If you have a buddy at the same place she works and you all are in the same field of work, seems like you and your buddy should put together a happy hour with fellow "work friends". Make sure she'll be there. Make sure you have some friends there and she'll see the following:
1) You could put together a gathering of people and everyone had fun.
2) With friends there you have other people to talk to so you can always leave her wanting just a little more of your conversation...but your just so darn popular you have to network with other people.
3) She'll have the chance to watch you from across the room and day dream a little.

Trust me, this is the only way to go. You keep short lively conversation with her on YOUR time then you conveniently need to go talk to someone else...then you happen to find your way back to her to make sure she knows you haven't forgotten about her. Always walk away just before the conversation starts to stall...don't let it stall and then walk away. That way you always have a reason to go back to talk to her. Pay attention to what she is drinking and bring her one when you go back to her. It'll work like you won't beleive.

[Maurice]

What a fun thread.:p Dude, forget taking her flowers on the date, have them sent to her job when she gets back. The oooh and ahhhh factor from her female co-workers....priceless.;)

[brettw22]

This woman is definately worth the work. Beautiful, intelligent, nice full package.RED FLAG!!!!!!!!!!

If you EVER meet a woman with a 'full package', turn and RUN away :eek::eek:

unless you're into that........lol

[BaggedLancer]

RED FLAG!!!!!!!!!!

If you EVER meet a woman with a 'full package', turn and RUN away :eek::eek:

unless you're into that........lol

jesus, only you would think that way and post that.

[steveinaz]

Amateurs.

[dorokusai]

RED FLAG!!!!!!!!!!

If you EVER meet a woman with a 'full package', turn and RUN away :eek::eek:

unless you're into that........lol

This one time, at band camp....

[mrmusicman]

I think your in like flint:cool:....but you will know for sure when the next face to face meeting occurs and she walks up to you and punches you in the arm.:D

[sda2mike]

umm. it's in like flynn.....as in erroll....he had a really successful rep w the ladies;)

[PolkWannabie]

Or Flint ... as in the movie by the same name ...

[sda2mike]

Or Flint ... as in the movie by the same name ...

i doubt he can get into anything:p

just troubles:)

[PolkThug]

Too late guys. I called her at work. Found it out through friends. She was impressed that I put in the work to find the information out. She said it was "sweet" that I was making the effort. Not sure what that means. She did remember who i was immediately though.

You pretty much fucked this one up. At best, you're looking at the friend zone.

[sda2mike]

or she does him so good he misses work..like friday AND monday!!:D there's no predicting women, that' fo sho!;)

[cfrizz]

We don't think like you Thuggy!

I am also impressed that he made the effort to get her number & call her, & it is sweet.

I would have no problem setting up a date with him to see if there is any spark there to lead to 1. a friendship & 2. a possible relationship. But before there can ever be a relationship, there HAS to be freindship, trust, & respect.

This is NOT high school, and even when she told you that in HS it meant the same thing then as it does now. ie, you are not going to just be allowed to jump into bed with me before I have a chance to get to know who you are as a person.

At least no woman who has any kind of self respect would allow it.:)


You pretty much fucked this one up. At best, you're looking at the friend zone.

[mrbigbluelight]

At least no woman who has any kind of self respect would allow it.:)

I didn't know that pmckeealaska was associating himself with THAT kind of woman,ie, one with self respect.

That changes things.

Wait a second, if she had self respect, she wouldn't be talking to a Polkie in the first place, would she ?

[danger boy]

umm. it's in like flynn.....as in erroll....he had a really successful rep w the ladies;)

dude Errol Flynn was gay... so don't know how successful he was with da ladies afterall :p :p

[Polk65]

At least you have a short wait. I've been walking into walls and falling down stairs. The woman I have a crush on has a voodoo doll or something. pmckeealaska is thinking outside of the petri dish and I wish him luck. Roses in December... thank God.

[cfrizz]

:eek::eek::eek::eek: Snort...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!:D Ooouch!

Have you tried getting your eyes examined????:eek: :D


At least you have a short wait. I've been walking into walls and falling down stairs. The woman I have a crush on has a voodoo doll or something. pmckeealaska is thinking outside of the petri dish and I wish him luck. Roses in December... thank God.

[cfrizz]

BBL, You are crazy! ROFLOL!