Who do you want for President ?

[mrbigbluelight]

GET AWAY FROM THAT THREAD CLOSED BUTTON, RUSSMAN !

I didn't say for President of what ..... :)

I saw the other awful (;)) President thread, and realized that we have quite a few Polkies on here that would probably make a good President, so :

Cast your vote, and make about as much difference as you'll make in the real thing :D

You might want to present your reasons for your pick; you might just influence the outcome of the "Election".

And candidates: unlike the real thing, bribery is not considered a bad thing
(cash preferred).

And you Canadians are in luck here, you can also vote.
We have dead people vote down here, so have at it !

Most of the candidates are attending Polkfest, I believe, so the winner might just be able to issue Executive Orders around Polk Headquarters and get away with it ("Get them Lsi's off the loading dock and in the back of that white panel van .... NOW !").

So vote early and (I think you can) vote often. Just like the real thing.

BTW: You can make more than one selection (that way you don't have to leave the polling place and come back later with a fake ID)

:)

LATE EDIT: The "Justin" on the ballot is the "Justin" of ....what the heck's his title .... "Polk Web Swami" ..... you know, the one who's chops are fun to bust and to who has to listen to all the gripes and groans. Our resident "Whine Expert".

[hockeyboy]

I threw a vote at Russ. Please send free swag as promised Russman.

[Jstas]

I want me for president!

[Lasareath]

I'm Hurt you didn't add me to that list!

[Ackaroth]

Is the Justin Jstas or is it someone else?

[Early B.]

Before you cast your vote, you need to know where I stand on the issues:

1. Cables make a difference.

2. I co-signed the "cfrizz 200 wpc" bill

3. Tube gear for everyone.

4. Price don't mean a damn thing.

5. I support constant upgrading.

6. I do not support WAF rights.

[mrbigbluelight]

I'm Hurt you didn't add me to that list!

I could only add 10 names to the poll, so .... besides, after that incident in the bathroom stall in Utah I figured .... well .... ;)

I didn't add MrMxyzptlk .... MrMizzykzx..... MrMxxzzkk.....crap.....Sid the Kid because I couldn't remember how to spell his name.

Write-in's are also permissible.

[daboyz]

We need the candidates platforms so that we can make an educated vote. So far Early is in the lead since he's the only one talking...................

[jcaut]

I'm gonna write in shack.

[petrym]

F1nut... 'cause he's an ornery old f@R+ that likes F1, like me (the F1 part;))

Go Kimi!
(Monaco report: Kimi co-wins the Designated Dumb@$$ Award for smacking into Sutil today along with Alonso for trying to pass Heidfeld on the inside at Loews)

[janmike]

Jesse and Joe - You guys are sharing office. Start cleaning. ;)

[disneyjoe7]

I voted for "HearingImpaired" because he's the type which would tell them the way its going to be.

Well F1nut would also but what can I say second mate?

[obieone]

I voted for Troy, because EVEN in Korea, he'd be a more EFFECTUAL canidate then whats running around NOW!

[Early B.]

It's time for a woman to be president of Club Polk, with one caveat -- she must support the reenactment of the babe thread. :cool:

[TroyD]

F1 for president.

BDT

[analog97]

Maybe it's time for a "studio-version" President...........:D:D:D

[mrbigbluelight]

Well, I voted 4 times

1. Cfrizz
Because I just got done watching the Indy 500 and feisty Danica Patrick
was heading for Ryan Briscoe's pit to kick some a$$ (at 100 pounds !) and
thought, "You know, that's what we need for President ... a hard-headed,
gutsy gal !" and thought of Cathy. Can't argue with that logic.

2. Wingnut
Because she has a cute dog, and we haven't had a cute dog in the White
House since LBJ.

3. HearingImpaired
Because he tells it like it is and likes turntables.

4. Dorokusai
Because he's got the best one-liners and would be a godsend for the
Press.
That and .... well .... if somebody didn't vote for him, he might go into a
rampage and run amoc. Or is that "amok" ?


I thought about F1 and Troy but .... well .... you just don't know where they stand on the issues !

[obieone]

Seeing as Troy has bowed faster than Kucinich...Who ever brings back the SDA line gets my vote!!!

[disneyjoe7]

Hey I see that F1 is in the lead, if he wins can HearingImpaired be his running mate?

[Ackaroth]

Did cfrizz and wingnut. Both are pretty level-headed chicks that should rule supreme. BDSM *cough* what?

[shack]

I'm tired of presidents. Can't we have something like a Grand Duke, Prince, Orangun or a Royal Diva. These folks don't really have any power and it's much more fun when they screw things up...

[wingnut4772]

I voted for Cathy. She's very sensible and there would be 200w per channel amps in every pot.

[wingnut4772]

Did cfrizz and wingnut. Both are pretty level-headed chicks that should rule supreme. BDSM *cough* what?

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha!!!

[RuSsMaN]

I'm tired of presidents. Can't we have something like a Grand Duke, Prince, Orangun or a Royal Diva. These folks don't really have any power and it's much more fun when they screw things up...

Exactly. You can all call me squire from this point forward.

[F1nut]

I thought about F1 and Troy but .... well .... you just don't know where they stand on the issues !

Man, you really haven't been paying attention, have you!?! ;)



Ladies, Gentlemen and you others,

If elected, my first official act would be to rid this fine forum of candyliquor35m.

I'd bring back the TBT thread.

I'd bring back real SDA speakers.....big ones! Oh yeah, the SRT's too for the HT crowd.

I'd order that all music be released on hybrid SACD.

I'd move Polk HQ to a sunny Caribbean island, where we would have a week long Polkfest, twice a year.

I'd order that gasoline can not be priced higher than $2.00 a gallon. $10 billion in profits, my ass!

Anyone caught listening to B_s_ will be deported. Wanna buy a vowel?

I'd make F1 racing return to the USA.

I'd put a nice 2 channel rig in every home.

Thank you. Together, we can make this happen!

[F1nut]

Hey Russ, you want to put back the two votes you just removed from my name. NOW!

View Poll Results: Who should be President ?
This poll will close on 06-04-2008 at 03:05 PM
Matthew Polk (earns you title of "Succupus Maximus") 5 14.71%
TroyD 2 5.88%
F1Nut 11 32.35%
HearingImpaired 6 17.65%
Russman 3 8.82%
Early B 3 8.82%
Cfrizz (have to throw in a chick) 2 5.88%
Wingnut (okay, that's enough chicks) 5 14.71%
Justin 1 2.94%
Dorokusai 3 8.82%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters

[candyliquor35m]

I want to change my vote to Joe :D

[ben62670]

If elected, my first official act would be to rid this fine forum of candyliquor35m.

Can I change my vote:(

[janmike]

Hey Russ, you want to put back the two votes you just removed from my name. NOW!

View Poll Results: Who should be President ?
This poll will close on 06-04-2008 at 03:05 PM
Matthew Polk (earns you title of "Succupus Maximus") 5 14.71%
TroyD 2 5.88%
F1Nut 11 32.35%
HearingImpaired 6 17.65%
Russman 3 8.82%
Early B 3 8.82%
Cfrizz (have to throw in a chick) 2 5.88%
Wingnut (okay, that's enough chicks) 5 14.71%
Justin 1 2.94%
Dorokusai 3 8.82%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters


WOW - Could this be dirty politics. :rolleyes:

[obieone]

I change my vote to F1.
Yeah, I know he's pandering but...it works

[RuSsMaN]

I tried to put in a negative number for the forum ego, but it didn't work!

Better now? ;)

[F1nut]

Oh, you mean for yourself?

Put it back to 11 and quit dickin' it up. Thank you.

[ben62670]

Reminds me of Broward county...

[RuSsMaN]

Someone say chad? Jesse's middle name?

The fact anyone voted for anyone other than Matt, or Troy (hosted 2 PF), is a great sign of the state of the union around here. The lunatics are officially running the asylum.

[ben62670]

Thats funny, but sad.

[george daniel]

Jesse, what is your position on imported vinyl"? :)

[ben62670]

Jesse, what is your position on imported vinyl"? :)

Joe's campaign manager?

[daboyz]

I'm still holding out but F1 just took the lead over Early. Need more info!!!!

[F1nut]

What's sad Russ, is that you felt it necessary to interfere. It wouldn't matter if had you changed someone else's votes or mine, I would react the same way. I don't care if I win, but it sure seems to matter to you. What's up with that, your ego again? Quit being a little child and put the votes and the extra title you gave me back to the way it was before you tampered with it.

Honestly, out of the choices, Troy would make the best CIC. IMHO.

[zingo]

Matthew Polk (earns you title of "Succupus Maximus") 5
TroyD 3
F1Nut - God of Everything Audio 6,954
HearingImpaired 6
Russman 3
Early B 3
Cfrizz (have to throw in a chick) 3
Wingnut (okay, that's enough chicks) 5
Justin 1
Dorokusai 3

[SKsolutions]

Recount please.
Everyone counts their own, and then pencils it in, so that's it's official.

[mrbigbluelight]

I'd make F1 racing return to the USA.

Your platform is stellar, except for that one point.
I can put up with open wheel racing in the IRL (have I mentioned Danica Patrick ?) but no good looking F1 racers come to mind; in fact, I can't get the YouTube image out of my mind of the kangaroo hopping across the track at the Australian (?) Gran Prix.
So you might want to reconsider your position, as you'd probaly then pick up a lot of Southern voters (NASCAR).

;)


And I wasn't going to mention this, but ..... should I ? ..... I know Troy says he's in South Korea but those pictures he posted of audio shops ....
.... well ..... some of that fancy lettering looks suspiciously like something you'd see in North Korea.
I watched the movie "The Manchurian Candidate" last month, and that's the type of lettering they use "up there".
Not casting any aspersions, but .... have you ever seen Troy and Laurence Harvey in the same place ? No ? Well .....

:eek:






PLEASE NOTE INSERTION OF EMOTICONS THROUGHOUT POST

[F1nut]

LOL.....forget the drivers. Having been to F1 and Nascar races, I can tell you that the HOT babes are at the F1 tracks.

DP was pissed today, wasn't she!?!

[dcmeigs]

I'm waiting to that last minute to see what kind of swag I can get for my vote, but until and unless that happens:

I'd move Polk HQ to a sunny Caribbean island, where we would have a week long Polkfest, twice a year.


That /\ is definitely the campaign promise to beat. BTW -Does that include free airline tickets and 5 star accomodations?

[ben62670]

I'm waiting to that last minute to see what kind of swag I can get for my vote, but until and unless that happens:



That /\ is definitely the campaign promise to beat. BTW -Does that include free airline tickets and 5 star accomodations?

Nope. You get an inner tube, a nautical map, a tarp, 50 feet of clothes line, and 3 sticks.

[hearingimpared]

Two of the most recently banned members are in the lead . . . hmmmmmmmm . . . .

[zingo]

I have seen more than one hanging-chad. The entire system is flawed... :D

[hearingimpared]

BTW: My name is spelled wrong again, unless the other guy has resurfaced since 10/2003.

[Lasareath]

BTW: My name is spelled wrong again, unless the other guy has resurfaced since 10/2003.

It's the other guy!

[Kris Siegel]

<- Gets my vote

[zombie boy 2000]

Doro gets my vote. I mean... who doesn't want to bathe in the blood of the non-believers on a daily basis?

[edbert]

Russman gets my vote. Always vote for the local guy.

[disneyjoe7]

OK I'm live in FLORIDA and DEMAND a recount.....


How does F1NUT have 6900+ votes if only 59 people have voted.


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[steveinaz]

Matt Polk - Tech nerds don't make good presidents; the lab coat is too "mad scientist" looking

Troyd - Troy is level headed and military guy, he gets my vote.

F1Nut - Jesse has a temper, would you want his finger over the "button?" LOL

Hearingimpaired - Depends, you off the meds yet?

Russman - 8 years of a Texan in the whitehouse is quite enough, thanks.

EarlyB - Early would change his cabinet every 3 weeks, we'd never get anything done.

Cfrizz - Nah, she hates smokers. :D

Wingnut - Cops are scarey, you don't want a cop as president.

Justin - Another mad scientist, except this one has an ego the size of Oregon.

Doro - His parading around in assless chaps would distract from his otherwise excellent foreign policy.

[Jstas]

I'm still voting for myself.

I'm not giving up!

I'm still in the running!

There are several super-delegates that I can win over that could push me over the top statistically!

[Kris Siegel]

OK I'm live in FLORIDA and DEMAND a recount.....


How does F1NUT have 6900+ votes if only 59 people have voted.

At this time F1NUT has only 20 real votes. Still beating all parties though...

[disneyjoe7]

At this time F1NUT has only 20 real votes. Still beating all parties though...


Not what my FLORIDA based Computer and my FLORIDA based butt see. ;)


But he still winning :)

[Shizelbs]

How about a jdhdiggs/Demi ticket?

[steveinaz]

Off topic Shizelbs, but what about "The Amazing Silver Rig" for your rig name?

Man I'm good....and obviously bored.

[dkg999]

I voted for Doro! The image of him strolling out of the presidential helicoptor in assless chaps greeting some foreign dignitaries just makes me laugh uncontrollably :D

[hearingimpared]

Hearingimpaired - Depends, you off the meds yet?



Yes sir, over a month now.

[steveinaz]

Wicked, I may have to reconsider my super delegate vote :D

[Kris Siegel]

Wicked, I may have to reconsider my super delegate vote :D

Wait, how do you have a super delegate vote? I thought Mods and Admins had that vote...

[obieone]

I'm doing a 'write-in' canidate:









Jenna Jameson!!!

[dorokusai]

"I pledge a pair of LSi's for every home, autographed pictures for every bathroom and if you have an attractive significant other....a restraining order against myself for life, or a taser." *(Total value of vote pandering not to exceed $35.99)

Dont let these blindfolded vintage SDA devotees gobble up your vote. You should rally around someone who has actually bought a Polk product in the past 5 years. Vinyl is dead and we need a change...Real Change! {rings bell}

F1Nut* worked with former President Carter as his personal driver and confidant. He is also the founder of the original Bang Bus and reportedly, a Vampire. You cannot have the undead in the oval office! Do you realize what kind of money it would take to accomodate his sleeping habits, let alone his weekly haircuts! *Factoid - Jesse was also a contestant on the Dating Game and is often featured in old Blooper & Practical Jokes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TV_Bloopers_&_Practical_Jokes) reruns. {rings bell}

HearingImpared was a prisoner in the POW camp down the road* from John McCain. He reportedly refused to wear clothing and was often caught pushing his man parts behind his legs whenever given the opportunity. That's just plain weird. *If you made a right at the stop sign and then bear to your far left, drive 1000 miles into Tibet....you couldn't have missed it. {rings bell}

EarlyB? Are you kidding me? The man had an audio nervous breakdown in 2008*....how can he lead you anwhere but downhill! {rings bell} *Brad is a huge Machina Dynamica (http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina60.htm) customer. {rings bell}

Cfrizz can only give you 200wpc, no more, no less! Aside from a hand on the hip, shake of the head and a waving of a couple fingers, saying "Oh no he di int!"...she can't come back from that. *I've personally seen Cathy shake her brother Mark so violently by the shoulders, almost killing him, until he agreed to buy Polk Audio speakers. {rings bell}

Wingnut is an officer of the law and if she's anything like my ex-policeman Father....not to be trusted. Bad POPO! Richard Gere(Internal Affairs (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099850/)) and Ray Liota(Unlawful Entry (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105699/)) look like saints compared to her actions on the ground. She once arrested her own girlfriend for looking at her funny. *In reality, it was because Darla was wearing her Ghostbuster costume armed with something that looked less like a proton gun, and more like a XXX prop. {rings bell}

TroyD intentionally requested to be transferred to Korea so he wouldn't have to run for this office. He's knows what skeletons are in his closet*, including the sign that should be on his front lawn! *Troy was head of a gang of vandals that installed Glory Holes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glory_hole_(sexual)) in the bathrooms of 100 local Assisted Living homes in the SC vicinity. He was subsequently convicted and is required to display an "$4.99 Dinner Coupon for Senior Citizens - Inquire Within" sign on his front lawn. {rings bell}

Justin has recently went on to have a gender re-assignment procedure, with enlargement of other areas, can you say...Badonkadonk (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=badonkadonk)?. You cannot vote for someone who has no idea how to prioritize their body parts! {rings bell}

Russman has withdrawn from the ballot.

Matt Polk cannot be added to the list nor made fun of due to his personal knowledge of exactly who I am and where I live. I bow to your graven image sire and allow me to serve your dark will 'till the end of days.

[hearingimpared]

Ahhhh haaaaaa . . . let the mud slinging begin!!! Heeeyyyyyyyy what about the big Russ?

BTW that was good stuff!

[janmike]

Holy shit, a Canadian voting for a President. What next? :eek:

[hearingimpared]

I pledge turntable/tonearm/cartridge set up and perfect dialin for every new vinyl lover. Digital lovers will get free disc stabililzers and a trip from my VP F1nut to place the proper resistor in series with the dominant tweeter to make the highs and midrange of any digital rig sound as sweet as a new 200 gm vinyl classic.

Mods first:

Doro ; no way Jose, he would make Russman his VP and both would make Jim Beam the Speaker of the House.

Justin; Please don't ban me again; thats as far as I go. I know, I'm a pu$$y

Early B; will change his cabinet every other week. . . bad choice.

Cfrizz; might kick your big behind for not properly coddling jackass newbs and arseholes.

Wingnut; a cop as President . . . I rather have Bush senior force congress to become CIA agents. Besides, she is already billyclubbing the residents of her town until they yield to her will to join the forum and vote for her.

TroyD; He's a friggin Korean citizen how the hell can HE become president.

MATT POLK; the man makes fun of hearing impaired audiphiles at Consumer Electronics Shows. That is only one skeleton from 1987 . . . there are more. MUUUHHHHHUUUUUHHHHHAAAAAA

[dorokusai]

Russman has withdrawn from the race and my running mate has yet to be chosen. *James Beam was unavailable for comment.

[hearingimpared]

Russman has withdrawn from the race and my running mate has yet to be chosen. *James Beam was unavailable for comment.

Old Grand Dad is looking for a job!

[tonyb]

Hey...Ron isn't on the list.I'd vote for him....because he is the only one that can bring real "change" to the forum.:p:rolleyes:

[dorokusai]

Old Grand Dad is looking for a job!

Phizer is looking for a mascot.

[hearingimpared]

Hey...Ron isn't on the list.I'd vote for him....because he is the only one that can bring real "change" to the forum.:p:rolleyes:

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA he also can turn red!!!!!!

[hearingimpared]

Phizer is looking for a mascot.

Na, they don't sell the good stuff.

[dorokusai]

OK, damn...the lobbiest duped me again.

[Jstas]

I'm not convinced. I'm still voting for me.

If the rest of you know what's good for you, you will too.

[TroyD]

Off the hook funny.

Man, normally this would be something that I would be all over, the opportunity for humor is off the freaking charts. Mark just knocked this one out of the park like Barry Bonds would a hanging curve ball after a double dynanbol cocktail.

That said:

If elected president I will:

Remove certain folks from the protected species list. ;)

Two words: SDA INWALLS

Invest R&D dollars in the replication of F1's hair.....the most non-resonant, inert material known to mankind.

Ensure that the price of Jim Beam is 10% cheaper than gasoline accross the board.

Subsidize Japanese vinyl and expansion of Mofi production facilities.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Yeah, I got nothing.

BDT

BDT

[Fireman32]

Wayyyyyy to freaking funny!! this just made my morning.

[shack]

It's time for a change. More power to the women. I want to see a ticket with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. They have a lot to offer. Having seen it first hand, they could begin working to correct the criminal justice system. Fiscally, they are already used to spending money without any concern as to where it is coming from or what it is for...so they could hit the ground running. I'm pretty sure they are independents, cause I don't think they can spell democrat or republican. I think they could certainly deal with the foreign heads of state (and film the sessions for YouTube and/or further negotiations). The inaugural ball would be a blast and the new political slogan...or the response to the threat of global nuclear war....

"That's Hot!"

[Jstas]

Went on a Fact Finding Mission!

Found some stuff out about F1nut.
- He has over 400 ficus plants and they are all named Steve
- He arranges his spatulas alphabetically
- He keeps his sock pairs separated so they don't fornicate in his draws when he isn't looking
- He doesn't actually have hair. That is an elaborate array of antennas for communicating in 16384 bit encryption to the home world
- His body is an early experiment in cybernetics and his head is actually a battery powered by the alcohol in wine and the fatty acids in cheese
- His mahgeny pipe is fake. He uses smoke tablets for model trains to enhance the charade
- His previous body was steam powered
- He has a sex tape in which he violates a tube amplifier and his punishment is being whipped by a dominatrix while strapped spread eagle on a giant turntable
- He doesn't have eyebrows. They are made from butt hair he shaved off of RuSsMaN while he was "under the influence"
- He has 9 stomachs
- He once took candy from a baby
- He likes Gerber's strained peas
- He's not a vampire, he just enjoys how the soft velvet lining caresses his nether regions
- He eats cake with a spoon
- Some say his scrotum has it's own gravity field
- He once pissed off a super model by saying she had a face like a traffic warden
- That same supermodel successfully lobbied a petition to have F1nut's name changed to Cuddles
- He has a terrible case of exema on his mahgeny pipe
- He thought Star Wars was a documentary
- He is frightened of trees
-...and Australia
-...and facial hair
-...and Polkasaurus Rex
-...and clouds
- He knows two facts about ducks...and both of them are wrong
- When he slows down, brake lights come on in his ass
- He thinks his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight



Would you want a guy like that as your president? I know I wouldn't.

You should vote for dorokusai. He has a heart of gold! No, really, it's gold. He only SAYS he had "leg surgery". Apparently the wizard gave him a new heart! But the wizard was drunk and told him to wear the ruby slippers too because they go so nicely with the ass-less chaps. Oh...wait, was that too much information?

Well, vote for doro anyway. He's just weird. That F1nut guy is totally creepy! If you watch, it's almost like his eyes follow you where ever you go! I don't want none of that Big Brother stuff in the president's office!

[F1nut]

John, that's it! No more carb cleaner for you.

[mrbigbluelight]

Thanks for that background check, Jstas. The 682,478 people who have voted for him so far are probably starting to realize that ...... well ...... it's own gravity field, huh ? Dam !

Now, I've heard before that Doro has a heart of gold, but I've also heard that he had a pair of baby shoes bronzed. While the baby was still in them.
Now that hasn't been verified, but it still is something to think about.

And what's with Joe changing from "HearingImpaired" to "HearingImpared" ?
There has to be something sinister about that !!

:eek:

[Jstas]

And what's with Joe changing from "HearingImpaired" to "HearingImpared" ?
There has to be something sinister about that !!

:eek:

That's easy to explain! Joe is his own best friend! He tells me he does whatever the voices tell him to do anyway. So maybe it's a whole conspiracy thing...in his head. Like that show Herman's Head? Remember that show? Yeah, I do too. Hey, beaches are fun!

[hearingimpared]

I only talk back to the voices when their apparitions sit next to me in bed.

[tonyb]

Write in George Grand.....no bull crap,tell it like it is with out the PC.Plus he has an edge to him that I like.But the best reason to vote for him,is he sits in his driveway,drinking his joe,wearing one fish two fish red fish blue fish shorts....my kinda guy.

[schwarcw]

There was this one hottie in the TBT, well nevermind.:( I can't vote for her. It's hard because I am friend with all the candidates.

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p97/schwarcw/Rudy.jpg

or . . .


http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p97/schwarcw/newplate.jpg

[schwarcw]

But my vote has to go to the Kraken!


http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p97/schwarcw/kraken.jpg

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p97/schwarcw/Kraken2.jpg

[pearsall001]

My vote's for Joe...cause he's bigger than me & he told me to do it!!! :D:D

[dorokusai]

I have chosen some cabinet members to ride out this storm, and they have accepted the call to duty(In NO particular order):

Jstas - Minister of Information
Shack - Chairman of the Reserve
Demiurge - Harbinger of Propaganda
George Grand - Special Consul
ZombieBoy2000 - Vice President
Russman - Herald
Ricardo - Liason to Female Employment

Please send your applications via PM and let's turn the tide of this battle to 11 on the volume knob! You can't run for President and not have a good core of more "likeable" folks to join you in the fight for loudspeaker equality.

[Jstas]

BREAKING NEWS!!!!


hearingimpared's Flatulence is a Major Contributor to Global Warming and Severe Asthma in Baby Harp Seals

DELAWARE -- The Environmental Protection Agency released a statement today condemning the actions of hearingimpared's aft regions and cited multiple instances and offenses resulting from the unfettered exhausting of deadly fumes from what hearingimpared refers to as his "bungus". The EPA further elaborated on the impact of such emanations and their destructive nature. The greenhouse gases contained in such environmental attacks have the potential to increase global temperature by 13 degrees in the next decade if they are allowed to continue.

The emanations are also responsible for more than 47,000 baby harp seal deaths due to acute respiratory distress associated with asthma brought on by the aggravation and subsequent inflammation of the alveoli in the harp seal lungs. When the alveoli become inflamed, they no longer transfer oxygen to blood according to Dr. Emil Strangelove of the EPA. The resulting suffering of the baby harp seals manifests in a hacking "smoker's cough" in which the seals eyes eventually pop out of their heads and their brain lubricant leaks out. This results in catastrophic cranial failure and imminent death due to excessive ocular socket trauma.

When hearingimpared was contacted concerning these accusations, his campaign office issued this response: "Hey! All yous goombas better get off his back! Da boss' bungus is a source of alternative energy that could power da fridges where we keep da bodies for, like, ever! Besides, who cares about da environment and a few stinkin' seals anyhows? Makes a nice fur coat for my lovely Violet! Wait? What? Whadaya mean I wasn't supposed ta say dat? Whadaya talkin' 'bout? No yous eff off ya crazy...(edited for content)...Hey! Yous listen here if yous knows what's good for ya! Yous betta votes fer hearingimpared! He's da head henchman and he's gonna win! SO remembah! Votes earlies and votes often...ya hear? Or else!" hearingimpared himself was not available for comment, his campaign office issued the statement that he was indisposed and not talkin' to no flatfoot newspaper hack no ways, no how.

In further news, the EPA applauded and issued a citation of commendation to ZombieBoy2000 for his "Club a Baby Seal Day" national campaign intended to alleviate the suffering brought forth by the gross environmental irresponsibility and negligence perpetrated by the hearingimpared campaign offices. hearingimpared's opponent in the presidential race, dorokusai issued a statement concerning his running mate's accolades. "Yeah, he's really awesome! He can club zombies too! If you elect myself as president I will bring an end to the wanton destruction caused by hearingimpared's bungus and put in place a comprehensive anti-zombie defense headed by the best zombie clubber this side of the Mississippi!" dorokusai and ZombieBoy2000 were unavailable for further comment. Their campaign offices informed us that they were on a junket for a fact finding mission concerning the validity of the claims that F1nut, another presidential candidate, is hoarding electricity from the power grid and storing it as static electricity in his hair so that he can shock elderly people in the adult diaper aisles of local WAL*MARTS.

[Face]

You have way too much time on your hands.

[hearingimpared]

And what's with Joe changing from "HearingImpaired" to "HearingImpared" ?
There has to be something sinister about that !!

:eek:

:p You big goof, I've always been hearingimpared because HearingImpaired was already taken.:cool::D:p

[ben62670]

BREAKING NEWS!!!!


hearingimpared's Flatulence is a Major Contributor to Global Warming and Severe Asthma in Baby Harp Seals

DELAWARE -- The Environmental Protection Agency released a statement today condemning the actions of hearingimpared's aft regions and cited multiple instances and offenses resulting from the unfettered exhausting of deadly fumes from what hearingimpared refers to as his "bungus". The EPA further elaborated on the impact of such emanations and their destructive nature. The greenhouse gases contained in such environmental attacks have the potential to increase global temperature by 13 degrees in the next decade if they are allowed to continue.

The emanations are also responsible for more than 47,000 baby harp seal deaths due to acute respiratory distress associated with asthma brought on by the aggravation and subsequent inflammation of the alveoli in the harp seal lungs. When the alveoli become inflamed, they no longer transfer oxygen to blood according to Dr. Emil Strangelove of the EPA. The resulting suffering of the baby harp seals manifests in a hacking "smoker's cough" in which the seals eyes eventually pop out of their heads and their brain lubricant leaks out. This results in catastrophic cranial failure and imminent death due to excessive ocular socket trauma.

When hearingimpared was contacted concerning these accusations, his campaign office issued this response: "Hey! All yous goombas better get off his back! Da boss' bungus is a source of alternative energy that could power da fridges where we keep da bodies for, like, ever! Besides, who cares about da environment and a few stinkin' seals anyhows? Makes a nice fur coat for my lovely Violet! Wait? What? Whadaya mean I wasn't supposed ta say dat? Whadaya talkin' 'bout? No yous eff off ya crazy...(edited for content)...Hey! Yous listen here if yous knows what's good for ya! Yous betta votes fer hearingimpared! He's da head henchman and he's gonna win! SO remembah! Votes earlies and votes often...ya hear? Or else!" hearingimpared himself was not available for comment, his campaign office issued the statement that he was indisposed and not talkin' to no flatfoot newspaper hack no ways, no how.

In further news, the EPA applauded and issued a citation of commendation to ZombieBoy2000 for his "Club a Baby Seal Day" national campaign intended to alleviate the suffering brought forth by the gross environmental irresponsibility and negligence perpetrated by the hearingimpared campaign offices. hearingimpared's opponent in the presidential race, dorokusai issued a statement concerning his running mate's accolades. "Yeah, he's really awesome! He can club zombies too! If you elect myself as president I will bring an end to the wanton destruction caused by hearingimpared's bungus and put in place a comprehensive anti-zombie defense headed by the best zombie clubber this side of the Mississippi!" dorokusai and ZombieBoy2000 were unavailable for further comment. Their campaign offices informed us that they were on a junket for a fact finding mission concerning the validity of the claims that F1nut, another presidential candidate, is hoarding electricity from the power grid and storing it as static electricity in his hair so that he can shock elderly people in the adult diaper aisles of local WAL*MARTS.

You're a good writer for a Dick!

[hearingimpared]

John, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAA


That is anodder homer out of da ballspark! You and my opponent DoroKansigh are on a roll but me and Mr. Hawaii 5-0 hair are still going to be prez and VICES prez!!!!

[SCompRacer]

Hey Joe, I'll vote Chicago style for ya. More than once.

[zombie boy 2000]

Let it be known that you can't really "club a zombie" so much as hope to contain him or her or whatever. At least that's what Marv Albert's expert analysis claims. That being said (and it was just before this statement), our promise to the people of Polk Land is that our clubbing will not just be limited to baby seals. Hobos, circus midgets, femullets, lemurs, empty cartons of Viceroys, and the other guy from Magnum P.I. will also be targeted.

For the good of the country of course. And just because we can. Who doesn't respect such dignified self-indulgence? I know your mom does. You wouldn't want to break your mom's heart would you?

[Ricardo]

I have chosen some cabinet members to ride out this storm, and they have accepted the call to duty(In NO particular order):

Jstas - Minister of Information
Shack - Chairman of the Reserve
Demiurge - Harbinger of Propaganda
George Grand - Special Consul
ZombieBoy2000 - Vice President
Russman - Herald
Ricardo - Liason to Female Employment

Please send your applications via PM and let's turn the tide of this battle to 11 on the volume knob! You can't run for President and not have a good core of more "likeable" folks to join you in the fight for loudspeaker equality.


You won't find a better team than this one.
On the applications: all female interns (18-35) need to forward the applications to me, not Doro (Please include a full body picture, front and back).

[janmike]

I will apply for the position of International Relations. Free fish if elected. :D

[dorokusai]

It would be nice to have a Canadian aboard....can you work without pants?

[Demiurge]

Campaign photos incoming shortly.... >_>

[zombie boy 2000]

We're like the United Colors of Beneton. We'll take everybody and sell you two pairs of mittens during our Memorial Day sale. Except for carnies.... their small hands are freakish. And people from Guam. I've got no time for their shenanigans.

[janmike]

It would be nice to have a Canadian aboard....can you work without pants?

Only in the company of certain personnel.

[Jstas]

Only in the company of certain personnel.

Oh, see now we need to know if you are a true Canadian with a flip-top head or one of those wacky French-Canadians that actually DO wear pants but only on their heads.

[Demiurge]

Presidential Candidate F1Nut Visits Bose Headquarters

For Immediate Release
AP News Service
Friday May 30th, 2008 10:48 AM

Framingham, Massachusetts - Presidential Candidate F1Nut made a visit to the corporate headquarters of Bose. He met with Bose employees for a gathering with the public. He stated to a crowd of onlookers at the Bose booth "Bose makes the best speakers in the world and I am so pleased to visit with the residents of Framingham. So many of you are employed here and you are what makes Bose such a wonderful American company." The crowd was pleased. Suspicions were raised during a closed door session between F1Nut and Bose CEO Amar Bose. A source close to the F1Nut campaign claims that Bose was offered massive tax incentives in exchange for a large contribution to the campaign.


http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/F1Bose.jpg
Presidential Candidate F1Nut with Bose employees at the Bose booth.

F1Nut gave a press conference after the event in which he was interrupted by a heckler numerous times stating "Jesus, Jesse, it's a microphone not a penis! Learn how to hold that thing." Seemingly flustered, F1Nut stumbled through the rest of his speech and made a hasty exit. Babies cried and women flounced.

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/micropenis.jpg
Presidential Candidate F1Nut during his press conference.

[zombie boy 2000]

Powerful investigative work Demi. If you look closely at the microphone, you can see that it is made of moldy cheese. My only question is... why is John Leguizamo grabbing his ass?

[F1nut]

Lies, I tell ya! Nothing but lies and campaign smear tactics. I do not believe in dirty politics and will not stoop to that level.

[Demiurge]

Powerful investigative work Demi. If you look closely at the microphone, you can see that it is made of moldy cheese. My only question is... why is John Legumes grabbing his ass?

I hear it's because F1Nut is against Whirrled Peas.

[zombie boy 2000]

Well... then he's obviously a communist, too. You really need to do some soul-searching people. Ask yourself - "do I really want a communist, fascist, vampire leading us into the future?" I know your mom wouldn't. You don't hate your mom, do you?

[Demiurge]

Dorokusai Gains 6 Delegates From Russman's Capaign Withdrawl

For Immediate Release
AP News Service
Friday May 30th, 2008 11:32 AM

Russman has announced that he will ask his 6 delegates to put their support behind Dorokusai in his quest for the Presidency. This puts Dorokusai firmly in the lead over former frontrunner F1Nut. The two met in a private meeting today with Dorokusai campaign advisors Jim Beam and Johnny Walker.

[hearingimpared]

Effing Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Demi!

[Demiurge]

Wow...this is damning stuff....

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/nationalenquirer.jpg

[janmike]

Oh, see now we need to know if you are a true Canadian with a flip-top head or one of those wacky French-Canadians that actually DO wear pants but only on their heads.

110% Canadian here. I pledge to the flag not the.....

Demiurge, hilarious post.

[Face]

LOL!!!

I'm never posting a picture of myself on this forum!

[mrbigbluelight]

I think we all owe Demiurge a debt of gratitude for the excellent work he's done so far. Keep up the good work ! (and watch your back :eek:)

[janmike]

I think we all owe Demiurge a debt of gratitude for the excellent work he's done so far. Keep up the good work ! (and watch your back :eek:)

And there are more candidates to review. Can't wait. :p

[F1nut]

My staff has uncovered even more vote tampering. Before the Russman debacle, we had 11 votes. During the debacle we gained 10 more votes as noted at the start, F1Nut - God of Everything Audio 6,954 and then before the vote count was changed again, F1Nut - God of Everything Audio 6,964. So, as you can see, at this time we clearly have 21 votes, even Kris counted that we had 20 votes before the last vote tampering.

We are requesting that the vote count be reset to reflect the actual count.

[dorokusai]

The count is simply based on the actual folks that have voted(80) and it has been reviewed by Al Gore. You actually have 1 more vote than you should but that was the only way to get Al's help.

[Deepthroat]

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/f1chaps.png

[Demiurge]

Ooooh.... :cool:

[Kris Siegel]

We are requesting that the vote count be reset to reflect the actual count.
Done. At the time of correction you have 23 votes.

[dkg999]

F'ing Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :eek:

[Demiurge]

Former Web Intern

Quit tampering with the election and...

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/gtfo.jpg

[Ricardo]

Matthew Polk (earns you title of "Succupus Maximus") 6 7.41%
TroyD 5 6.17%
F1Nut - God of Everything Audio 23 28.40%
HearingImpared 14 17.28%
Russman - Withdrawn due to payoff from Doro 6 7.41%
Early B 4 4.94%
Cfrizz (have to throw in a chick) 5 6.17%
Wingnut (okay, that's enough chicks) 8 9.88%
Justin 6 7.41%
Sir Dorokusai Von Scroticus 13 16.05%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 81. You have already voted on this poll

The total is 90, with 81 voters? Once again corruption is trying to change results.

I'm calling Rskarvan to assemble a Free Voters Union.

[Kris Siegel]

Former Web Intern

Quit tampering with the election and...

I un-tampered it
The total is 90, with 81 voters? Once again corruption is trying to change results.

Actually, this is a multiple choice poll meaning each user can vote for more than one person at a time.

[jdhdiggs]

Done. At the time of correction you have 23 votes.

Did you consult the attorney general on this? Were representatives of all parties present for the recount? SUPEANA!!! SUPEANA!!! SUPEANA!!!

We must block this recount travesty!!!

[Ricardo]

each user can vote for more than one person at a time.

Chaos!!!! Democracy out the window!!!!!

[Jstas]

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/f1chaps.png

WOW! Nipple rings! Classy!

[Demiurge]

I un-tampered it

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/Katherine20Harris.jpg

You're screwing with the people. Russman's delegate votes went to Dorokusai. Someone needs to pull this out of control bastards card.

[dorokusai]

LOL....it's pure chaos. Free Whitey!

[zombie boy 2000]

I leave for thirty minutes to go feed the homeless and nurse dying birds back to health and this is what I come back to?!?!

[Jstas]

I leave for thiry minutes to go feed the homeless and nurse dying birds back to health and this is what I come back to?!?!

You should see the news ticker! The tape is running out so fast I'm afraid it's gonna catch fire!

We're goin' to hell in a handbasket I tell ya!

[Deepthroat]

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/f1nutcastro.png

[Deepthroat]

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/f1nutabuse.png

[amulford]

This is getting good....

Deepthroat...

Jesus de Christo, I just wet my....

[george daniel]

Political Posturing,,eh?:D

[ben62670]

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/f1nutabuse.png

Wow F1 hasn't changed a bit since 65, but put on a few. Is it the formaldehyde in the grass he's smoking:cool:

[MacLeod]

F the issues!

I voted for Darla 'cause she's hot and can use a night stick!

[dorokusai]

A night stick doesn't use batteries.

[MacLeod]

Now there you go. I didnt mean anything dirty by that. Good grief. Cant say nuttin' around here. Right in the gutter.

[dorokusai]

We've added yet another class of esteemed colleagues to the annals of history:

Reeltrouble1 - Head of Homeland Security
Starchaser - Attorney General
Janmike - Foreign Relations
Jstas - Minister of Information
Shack - Chairman of the Reserve
Demiurge - Harbinger of Propaganda
George Grand - Special Consul
ZombieBoy2000 - Vice President
Russman - Herald
Ricardo - Head of the Department of Labor

Under Ricardo's guidance we have submitted a proposal to hire only nubile, young females between the ages of 18-30 for all government positions that require contact with the general public. He will personally be inspecting...I mean interviewing the candidates for the aforementioned positions.

This should save the country millions in tax dollars spent complaining about rude attendents and service workers. It should also spur an increase in tourism throughout the country, especially in our capital of Baltimore, MD.

There will also be a mandatory dress code for these positions and we've contacted the Hooters organization for some guidance and advice.

Shack - Do you have any comments on the actual savings and national debt reduction benefits this could offer the Club Polk forum?

Jstas - Is there a press blurb concerning this landmark legislation?

[Ricardo]

Sir Dorokusai,

Things are going as planned. We already have a pretty good number of candidates, and our campaign is going in the right direction, demonstrated by the huge increase in votes.

We are having some delays in the dresses, but I think we will make it on time. Worst case, they will work light dressed for the first few days.

Here's just a sample. All I can say is I've got my hands full.

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t123/garcimol/1-1.jpg

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t123/garcimol/2-1.jpg

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t123/garcimol/3-1.jpg

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t123/garcimol/5-1.jpg

I have a bunch of others that won't allow me to post their pictures until we see an avalanche of votes....so KEEP THEM COMING!!!!!!

[ben62670]

Can I change my vote again?

[dorokusai]

Outstanding Ricardo, you're doing a fine job.

[F1nut]

My staff has discovered the true identities of the people in that photo. That's Doro on the right, Ricardo on the left in their assless chaps and Demi in the middle with my handsome face photoshopped over his in some strange attempt to associate me with my competition.

My staff and I will not release the unsavory circumstances surrounding the photo due to my policy of running a clean campaign, but felt it necessary to set the record straight. My staff is still investigating the other photos.

We would also like to thank Kris for his honesty in these trying times.

[mrbigbluelight]

You know ..... Doro's "platform" is looking better and better .... mmmmm ......


My sources on the street, though, tell me that the male candidates better be ready for a suprise announce by the female candidates on June 2 (what is being referred to as an "H"-bomb".

It appears that Cfrizz and Wingnut have been quietly polling delegates (mmmm .... polling) behind the scenes and are ready to spring a June 2 Suprise that may drastically tilt the voting in their favor.

I don't know what it is, but I can only imagine it'll be shocking !!!

I think hope that it might involve something to do with ....... wrestling ! if there's a god in heaven

Maybe with pictures ! Dear God ... please !

[Jstas]

Jstas - Is there a press blurb concerning this landmark legislation?

Oops! Sorry, haven't checked the ticker in a while! I was busy assisting Ricardo with the numerous job applicants to the Department of Labor. ;) :D

What can I say, I go where my country needs me! :cool:

[RuSsMaN]

Kris has no tenure here, he has uncovered nothing. The vote count is indeed correct as stated, and I personally reset it as such before my withdrawl from said race.

Long live Sir Dorokusai Von Scroticus! Feared by all men, worshiped by all children, coveted by all women! The three-dicked black knight rides again!

[hearingimpared]

. . . also known in some Latin circles as Biggus Dickus Scroticus. Three of them???

[Demiurge]

. . . also known in some Latin circles as Biggus Dickus Scroticus. Three of them???

http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m216/Demiurge1000/demitongue.gif

[Demiurge]

Looks like it's time for the general election...

[reeltrouble1]

As Homeland Security chief I will broaden the powers of the Patriot Act to include searches of nubile ladies or men for that matter........................

RT1

[MrNightly]

Hey Wing...

I know a few guys here in the midwest that could.. ya know... "Help" ya nudge a few of these robust males out of the picture. Let me know if ya need a friendly shake-down for one or three of them.

Oh, and the check is in the mail.

Long Live the WingNut!

[reeltrouble1]

I find Nightly to be a person of interest................

as Director of our national security I will rid the land of insurgents, particularily, the anti hi-fi audio insurgents, these folks will be rounded up and detained.

RT1

[disneyjoe7]

I find Nightly to be a person of interest................

as Director of our national security I will rid the land of insurgents, particularily, the anti hi-fi audio insurgents, these folks will be rounded up and detained.

RT1



Dear Director of National Security,


If you where to round up the "Anti Hi Fi Audio Insurgents" to detained them, what would President F1Nut well....... lets say pick on? ;)

[reeltrouble1]

I would support my President, who he picks on is his business, mine job is to round em up and keep everything nice and tidy.

RT1

[MrNightly]

I find Nightly to be a person of interest................

as Director of our national security I will rid the land of insurgents, particularily, the anti hi-fi audio insurgents, these folks will be rounded up and detained.

RT1

Eh eh eh... soon-to-be-director, does not make you a director yet young sir! The Nut will make her comeback, just you wait and see!

Until then, I will rest soundly in my bed, dreaming of... well never mind what I will be dreaming of, just know I am resting soundly!

[reeltrouble1]

thank you for calling me young, of course it does destroy any crediblity you might of had, Ms. Nut like me is a LEO in the end we will both still be here.

RT1

[hearingimpared]

It this election over?

[MillerLiteScott]

It this election over?


It depends on how you count the votes from Florida and Michigan:rolleyes:

[F1nut]

Yeah, it was suppose to end on 6/4/08. Looks like I'm the new President. :D

I'll work up something more later, but for now let me thank everyone for your vote and I'll do my best not to disappoint.

Regards,
President F1nut

[disneyjoe7]

Yeah, it was suppose to end on 6/4/08. Looks like I'm the new President. :D

I'll work up something more later, but for now let me thank everyone for your vote and I'll do my best not to disappoint.

Regards,
President F1nut


Way to go Mr. President.....

ROTFLMAO :D

[hearingimpared]

Who's to be your "vice" president?;):D

[F1nut]

Joe, I honor my promises. You are the VP or should I say the President of Vice.

[Jstas]

Yeah, it was suppose to end on 6/4/08. Looks like I'm the new President. :D
F1nut

More lies. Sources close to dorokusai urge the voting public not believe such heinous attempts at rigging the votes. Not all districts have reported yet and there is no mention anywhere of any ending date.

[F1nut]

John, if you had paid attention, the poll was set to close on the 4th as Mrbigbluelight will confirm. I suspect that "someone" else removed the end time.

[disneyjoe7]

John, if you had paid attention, the poll was set to close on the 4th as Mrbigbluelight will confirm. I suspect that "someone" else removed the end time.


Excuse me sir, well should I say Mr. President. You didn't end that with a.... well sir Mr. President sir.

[F1nut]

No worries, I'm not a formal kinda guy.

[mrbigbluelight]

Well, it is official:

F1Nut = PRESIDENT :eek:

HEARINGIMPARED = VICE-PRESIDENT:eek::eek:


Although I didn't vote for F1 (I didn't think I'd be able to finagle any schwag from him for my vote), I would like to mention that I did cast a vote for Joe, aka the Best Looking Guy on Club Polk (or "Your Royal Vice-Majesty" as I like to call him).

I also cast votes for Cfrizz and Wingnut, and extended the voting period after carefully reviewing the election rules (the "Michigan/Florida Rule"), in order to give them time to submit some vote-changing materials, but ......
....... noooooo, not a single wrestling picture in the bunch !!!

Our esteemed gentlemen are sure to rule with dignity and grace (:D) and are sure to bring nothing but peace and harmony (:D:D). They'll be listing their selections for cabinet positions, but I would like to suggest that Jstas be considered for the Honorary Role of Club Polk Poet Laureate; excellent coverage of the election !

In fact, there were a lot of interesting, well written pieces, and everyone should be proud of their contributions.


BTW, as a side note: I actually emailed the DNC and RNC a week or so ago, and (long story short) sent them a link to this thread. I suggested that they view how a real campaign is cleanly run, that deals strictly with the issues of the day.
So maybe they'll follow that advice. If so, the upcoming election should prove interesting !

..... or it could be the end of the world as we know it.


.....well, it'll be one or the other. At least it'll be interesting.


..... and maybe even have some female wrestling pictures ! :)


So, in closing, I'd like to present this orchestal offering of "Pomp and Circumstances":

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FF2KRwePwco&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FF2KRwePwco&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>








Okay, so it's by the Chan Wa Band (2006). Hey, the Boston Pops wanted too much, and I didn't have that much money left in the election campaign fund (I told Matthew Polk $10,000 wouldn't go too far), so .... don't blame me.

[hearingimpared]

That was a very heart warming rendition. Jess did that bring a tear to you eye?

[hearingimpared]

Mark you soundly kicked my butt for second.

[F1nut]

I'm all choked up here.....sniff, sniff

[mrbigbluelight]

That was a very heart warming rendition. Jess did that bring a tear to you eye?


Yes, the Chen Wa Band is well known for their French horn section that really brings out the ...... wait .... okay, they didn't have French horns, but could you hear the magic that poured forth from their muted trombones !!
And don't tell me that you couldn't hear the sweet tones that floated from the violins ! And I'll have you know, every one of the violinists is a certified graduate of the Suzuki School of Music !!! :eek:

I think it shows.


BTW, I was thinking .... might this not be a good time to reconsider the concept of "Prima Nocturna" ?

[reeltrouble1]

so he's BAD
he's Nationwide
he's friggen International

and now he is Mr. President

who woulda thunk a poor boy from south of the tracks would come so far. Wait until the parade with the Van out in front.

smart move getting HI as VP, that will keep the papparazii very busy digging skeletons and off his back so he can do important work.

RT1

[hearingimpared]

so he's BAD
he's Nationwide
he's friggen International

and now he is Mr. President

who woulda thunk a poor boy from south of the tracks would come so far. Wait until the parade with the Van out in front.

smart move getting HI as VP, that will keep the papparazii very busy digging skeletons and off his back so he can do important work.

RT1

All my skeletons are out of the closet and in the open!!! It's the shit deep in the basement I'm afraid will get exposed.;):D

[Demiurge]

It this election over?

Nope. Those were the primaries. Time for the general election. WTF kind of vote ends when Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are still in the race?

[F1nut]

Geez, sour grapes there Demi!?! RT1 will be paying you a visit.

[TroyD]

Have we suspended haebeus (sp) corpus already??

BDT

[cfrizz]

Something ain't smelling right, I'm moving to Canada!

[reeltrouble1]

you cant Cat, all those watts will melt your igloo.................

RT1

[mrbigbluelight]

This just in on CNN:

Apparently, Troy released news of of F1's come-from-behind (:rolleyes:) victory in South Korea, news that seemingly has upset our South Korean allies:


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It's seems that the Russians are also stunned by the news:

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[mrbigbluelight]

This also just in: undercover video of RT1's new Secret Service training camp, as recruits ramp up for their new assignment:


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[mrbigbluelight]

This also just in: undercover video of Doro's Private Security Team (notice the pigs' bladders filled with chicken guts):


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:eek:

[hearingimpared]

This was a fun thread. We need more like this.

[disneyjoe7]

you cant Cat, all those watts will melt your igloo.................

RT1


ROTFLMAO Funny shit there dud.