When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways. Yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of stuff like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But since I'm still not over the ripe old age of 40, I can't help but look around and notice the elders of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you lived in Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you old farts today, you don't know how good you had it!
1) When I was a kid we had the Internet. If we want to find something, we just Google it. I mean, its a useful tool and all when you aren't buried under pop-up ads and hidden trojans and spyware. Hell, sometimes I even ended up on some adult website I never intended to go to...
2) There was no email!! You didn't have to worry about your mail going directly into a spam folder never to see the light of day. At least with the good ole mail, your meaningful letters had a chance before they got discarded with all the ***** enlargement spam mail.
3) Child Protective Services didn't care if your parents beat you. Instead of wishing your peers would have some sense beat into them, they actually DID!! Now, if you spit in the wind and it hits someone on the shoe, you get charged with assault.
4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to hear music the way it was intended, you could. Instead, we get the torn down results of compression and have to worry for the rest of our lives about the integrity of recorded music. Think you could deal with that?!?!?
5) We don't have the choice to tape anything anymore. It's a dead format. Instead, we have to go through the hassle of finding people who already have the music and rip it off their copies.
6) You didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! When people called, they were ignored. You could leave the phone off the hook and never have to talk to anyone all day! Nowadays, we have to ignore them and they go directly to voice mail. What a way to piss off everyone you know, eventually leaving you alone with no need for Call Waiting.
7) Everyone and their dog has a cell phone now. No sneaking out or being somewhere you weren't allowed to be. Now phones come with GPS built-in so that our parents can track us at any time. No more trips to the "library" for us.
8) How...in the world... did you ever live without Caller ID? Its a Godsend. I pity you old farts.
9) You guys didn't have all these fancy consoles and computers. Instead, you had a joystick and a button. It was so easy your fourth cousin (whose parents were your first and third cousins) could pick it up and play. Hell, he'd even beat your high score!!! Then you'd have a whole month of fun trying to knock "ASS" off the high score leaderboards.
10) You had a TV Guide that held everything you could possibly watch for a month listed in it. One stop shop for all your TV needs. Instead, we have to scroll through menus as we watch our favorite programs, further distancing ourselves from television nirvana. You also didn't have to worry about remotes. Lose this sucker and you're screwed for the next 20 minutes, until you finally find it. No walking up and changing the channel. Noooo, everything is buried under menus. You even had scrollers to adjust the picture. That's buried under even MORE menus. Life must have been so much easier.
11) There was no Cartoon Network either! Instead of getting cartoons every day, you had one day to cram it all in. It wasn't a Saturday full of Ed, Edd, n Eddy. Noooo, you got quality cartoons. A little bit of Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Pink Panther. You should pity us for having to put up with such crap as Ren and Stimpy!!
12) We all know you would have had no use for microwaves. Momma cooked everything and had it on the table at 6:00 PM sharp. Now, we have to pull something out of the freezer and heat it up ourselves. Where has the world gone?
13) Yeah, I'm kind of done. CHEERS
The Under 40 Crowd