John O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters Club.
One evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest was held
to see who could deliver the best toast.
Well, John O'Riley won the contest for the best toast of the evening:
"Here's to the best years o' me life, spent between the legs o' me wife."
When John O'Riley arrived home his beautiful wife asked him how the
Toast Masters meeting went and he said, "I won the contest for the best
toast of the evening."
His wife then asked him what his toast was, and he said, "Here's to
the best years o' me life, spent in Church wi' me wife." His wife then said,
"Why John, that's so nice of you to include me in your toast."
The next morning, Mrs. O'Riley was downtown shopping and ran into the local
policeman on the beat who was also at the Toast Masters meeting with her
He said, "Hello Mrs. O'Riley, that was some great toast that your husband
John gave at the Toast Masters meeting last evening. He won first
"Yes, that's right," said Mrs. O'Riley, "but he wasn't quite honest
with the facts: he's only been there twice, the first time he fell asleep and
the second time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."