Rule # 1 - The guy in the Hyundai or Kia talkin' on the cell phone rules over anyone else not talkin' on the cell phone no matter what they're driving.... Porsche, BMW, Mercedes, whatever because he obviously has a life and you don't. If you did you'd be on the freakin' cell phone yourself.
Rule # 2 - Anyone that doesn't use their turn signals rules over anyone who does. Why??? Because if you have a hand free to use your turn signals you obviously ain't talkin' on the cell phone hence you obviously ain't got a life.
Rule # 3 - If you take the commuter bus or train to work you gotta talk on the cell phone the whole way or you're a nobody. Why??? Cause the fact you're seen in public without a car is bad enough so you at least have to prove that you've got a life. If you're riding public transportation and not talkin' on the cell phone you obviously don't have a car OR a life.
Rule # 4 - If you're walkin' down the street by yourself you best be on the cell phone because not only do you obviously not have a friend to walk with you've obviously not got a car either so you at least have to prove that you've got some kind of life.
Rule # 5 - Never mute your cell phone. If you mute it other people won't hear it ring hence they might not know you even have one. Leave the ringer on and as an extra precaution turn it up all the way. If it rings make sure to let it ring as long as possible so more people will be able to identify that it's you. Then make sure to speak up loud and clear so they'll be doubly sure to know who the hotshot is.
Follow these simple rules if you ever visit So. Cal. and you'll be sure not to be taken as a loser.
O yeah....I forgot one.
RULE # 6 - If you're driving and there's no one to talk to make sure to just hold the cell phone up to your ear and mouth some words occassionally so people will think you're cool.