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Thread: THE joke thread

  1. #241

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    At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

    After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Morris, her 85 year old groom ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

    After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Morris. Again he is ready for more "action". Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

    She is set to go to sleep again, but aha you guessed it - Morris is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25 year old, ready for more "action". And once again they enjoy each other. But as Morris set to leave again, his young bride says to him: "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, "Morris".

    Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says: "You mean I was here earlier?"
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  2. #242

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    Faithful

    A husband and wife are out for their 30th wedding anniversary.

    She says, "Have you ever been unfaithful?"

    He says, "No!" And thinking about the question he asks her the same question.

    She says , "Only three times."

    He says, "Three times!" When?

    She says, The first time was when you were in grad school and needed to get an "A" in your last course. I slept with your teacher and you got that "A".

    He says, "Since you were doing it for me, I guess I can forgive you." "What about the second time."

    She says, "remember when you wanted to become a vice-president in the corporation? I slept with the CEO and you got the job."

    He says, "Well, I guess I can forgive you, you did it for me. What about the third time."

    She says, "Remember when you wanted to be president of the country club and you were 40 votes short?"
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

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  3. #243

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    Three generations, a young man (20's), father (40's) and grandfather (60's) are ready to tee off for their weekly golf game. The starter sends a beautiful young lady to join them. They are a little miffed to think their Sunday outing will be slowed by a woman..but at least she is good to look at. Quickly, however, they see this young lady is quite a golfer. Her first drive was straight down the middle. Her second shot was within 3 feet of the pin followed by a birdie putt. This young lady is not only beautiful but she can really play golf. As the afternoon progresses, their consternation turns to amazement.

    18 is a long par 5. She hits the tee shot of the day... a fairway wood finds the front of the green. As they reach the green, she says... "Gentlemen. I have just played the round of my life! If I make this eagle putt... I will set the course record. If one of you helps me make this eagle putt, I will take him to the closest hotel and make mad love to him for the rest of the afternoon!"

    The son looks over the green. Walks back and forth eyeing the putt... and the young lady. Nervously he says, "I believe the putt will break about 2" to the right."

    The father squats, eyeing the putt from above and below the hole. Disagrees with son. "Ma'am. I can guarantee you this putt will break just slightly to the left."

    The grandfather takes one look and says, "Pick it up, lady. Looks like a gimme to me!"
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson

  4. #244

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    A man and his wife are awakened, at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.

    The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it's 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.

    "Who was that?" asked his wife.

    "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

    "Did you help him?" she asks.

    "No, I didn't, it's 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"

    "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

    The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.

    He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

    "Yes" comes back the answer.

    "Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband."Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

    "Where are you?" asks the husband.

    "Over here on the swing!", replies the drunk.
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson

  5. #245

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    Quote Originally Posted by shack
    "Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband."Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

    "Where are you?" asks the husband.

    "Over here on the swing!", replies the drunk.
    ROFL!! :p
    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
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  6. #246

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    My wife left me...

    I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, I had to give up drinking beer.
    I was not a big drinker maybe a 12 pack on weekends. Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day she came home from grocery shopping and when I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup.
    I said, "Wait a minute I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything!"

    She said, "I buy that makeup for you, so I can look pretty for you." I
    told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"

    I don't think she'll be back
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  7. #247

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    A guy is 81 years old and loves to fish.
    He was sitting in his boat the other
    day when he heard a voice say,
    "Pick me up."

    He looked around and couldn't see
    any one. He thought he was
    dreaming when he heard
    the voice say again,
    "Pick me up."

    He looked in the water and there,
    floating on the top, was a frog.

    The man said, "Are you
    talking to me?"

    The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking
    to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss
    me and I'll turn into the most
    beautiful woman you
    have ever seen.

    I'll then give you more sexual
    pleasure that you ever could
    have dreamed of."

    The man looked at the frog
    for a short time, reached over,
    picked it up carefully, and
    placed it in his front
    breast pocket.

    Then the frog said, "What,
    are you nuts? Didn't you
    hear what I said? I said
    kiss me and I will give
    you sexual pleasures
    like you have never
    had."

    He opened his pocket, looked
    at the frog and said, "Nah, at
    my age I'd rather have
    a talking frog."
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  8. #248

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    Two guys from Prince George would go moose hunting every year without success. Year after year, they hunted and hunted, but always came home without a moose.



    Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They rented a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose. The plan was to hide inside the costume, lure in a bull moose, then come out of the costume, surprising the moose before shooting it.

    So, they set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, (in their costume), and gave the moose love call. Before long their call was answered by a large bull moose roaming around the edge of the forest. They called again, and the moose answered closer to them. They called again, and the moose answered, then came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. As the moose's pounding hoof beats got closer the guy in front said, "OK, let's get out and get him".

    After a moment the guy in the back shouts: "THE ZIPPER IS STUCK, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"

    The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you better brace yourself!"
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  9. #249

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    Bill Clinton was having a conversatiion with Dick Chaney. Bill said, you got off easy Dick. The last time I shot someone in the face I almost got impeached

  10. #250

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    An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor.

    The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."

    O'Malley was shocked, but managed to compose himself and walk into the waiting room, where his son had been waiting.

    "Well, son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer.

    Let's head to the pub and have a few pints."

    After 3 or 4 pints, the two were feeling a little less somber.

    There were some laughs and more beers.

    They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

    O'Malley told his friends they were drinking to his impending end.

    "I have been diagnosed with AIDS."

    The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple of more beers.

    After the friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered, "Dad, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS."


    O'Malley said,


    "I don't want any of them sleeping with your Mother after I'm gone."
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  11. #251

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    John was topping the bill at the local senior center. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As John went to the front of the meeting room, he announced,

    "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put
    into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

    The excitement was almost electric as John withdrew a beautiful
    antique pocket watch from his coat.

    "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very
    special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.

    He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,

    "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

    The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, ----- it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

    ****!" said the Hypnotist...

    It took three weeks to clean up the senior center.
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  12. #252

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    Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear.

    The black bear said, "That was my cousin and you've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex."

    After considering briefly, Frank decided to accede to the latter alternative. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.

    He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.

    The grizzly said, "That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex." Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate.

    Although he survived, it took several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.

    Frank traveled to Alaska. He felt sweet revenge, but, then, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

    The polar bear looked at him very sadly and said, "Admit it Frank, you didn't come here for the hunting, did you?"
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  13. #253
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    That ain't funny!
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
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  14. #254

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    Frank!!
    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
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  15. #255

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    The truth comes out... "No pun intended..." hehehehe
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  16. #256

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    A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott, AZ. He sits at the counter
    and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.

    After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy
    bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

    The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his
    best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."

    Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place
    and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and
    notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he
    immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.

    The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."
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  17. #257

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    That's just wrong... :D
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  18. #258

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    Amy, a blond girl, marries an Iowa farmer.

    One morning, on his way out to check on the cows,
    the rancher says to Amy, "The artificial insemination
    man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today.
    I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow's
    stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when
    he gets here, okay?"

    The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while
    the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks
    on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn.

    They walk along a long row of cows and when she sees
    the nail, she tells him, "This is the one, right here."

    Terribly impressed by what he assumed was just
    another ditty blond, the man asks, "How did you know
    this is the cow to be bred?"

    "That's simple-- by the nail over its stall," Amy explains.

    Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

    She tells him as she walks away,

    "I guess it's to hang your pants on."
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  19. #259
    Polk-a-dweeb
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    Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."

    You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

    And furthermore ....

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


    1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

    2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

    3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

    4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

    5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

    6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

    7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

    8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

    9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

    10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

    11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

    12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

    2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

    3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

    4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

    5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

    6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

    7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

    8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

    9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

    10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

    11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
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  20. #260
    Polk-a-dweeb
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    A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U. S. Forest Service
    were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for
    controlling the coyote population.

    It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and
    true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator, the
    tree-huggers had found a "more humane" solution.

    What they proposed was for the animals to be captured
    alive, the males castrated and let loose again, and the
    population would be controlled. Yes, the Sierra Club and
    USFS actually proposed this to the Wyoming Wool and Sheep
    Grower's Association.

    All of the ranchers thought about this "amazing" idea for a
    couple of minutes. (Either that, or they were simply
    speechless.) In any event, finally an old boy in the back
    stood up, tipped his hat back and said,

    "Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those
    coyotes ain't ****in' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em."
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
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  21. #261

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    "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

    The priest ask, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi? "

    "Yes, Father it is. "

    "And who was the woman you were with? "

    "I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

    "Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you
    may

    as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti? "

    "I cannot say."

    "Was it Teresa Volpe? "

    "I'll never tell."

    "Was it Nina Capeli?"

    "I'm sorry but I cannot name her. "

    "Was it Cathy Piriano? "

    "My lips are sealed."

    "Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"

    "Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

    "The priest sighs in frustration. You're very tight lipped, Johnny
    Parisi and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You
    cannot attend church services for 4 months. Now you go and behave
    yourself."

    "Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and
    whispers, What'd you get?"

    "Four months vacation and five good leads."
    Skynut
    SOPA® Founder
    The system Almost there
    DVD Onkyo DV-SP802
    Sunfire Theater Grand II
    Sherbourn 7/2100
    Panamax 5510 power conditioner (for electronics)
    2 PSAudio UPC-200 power conditioners (for amps)
    Front L/R RT3000p (Bi-Wired)
    Center CS1000p (Bi-Wired) (under the television)
    Center RT2000p's (Bi-Wired) (on each side of the television)
    Sur FX1000
    SVS ultra plus 2

    www.ShadetreesMachineShop.com
    Thanks for looking

  22. #262

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    This is a true story --

    I was in Subway today and the guy in front of me asked, "How long is the six inch sub?"
    HT/2-channel Rig: Sony 50” LCD TV; Toshiba HD-A2 DVD player; Emotiva LMC-1 pre/pro; Rogue Audio M-120 monoblocks (modded); Placette RVC; Emotiva LPA-1 amp; Bada HD-22 tube CDP (modded); VMPS Tower II SE (fronts); DIY Clearwave Dynamic 4CC (center); Wharfedale Opus Tri-Surrounds (rear); and VMPS 215 sub

    "God grooves with tubes."

  23. #263

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    LOL! That's good...especially to hear in person!
    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
    My Saga
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    Rotel RCD-02
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    [In Storage]
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  24. #264

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    The clerks response could have been better, what did she say?

    "It's twice as big as what's in your pants."

  25. #265

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    To My Dearest Wife,


    During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:

    We will wake the kids - 54 times

    It's too late - 15 times

    I'm too tired - 42 times

    It's too early - 12 times

    It's too hot - 18 times

    Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

    The neighbors will hear - 9 times

    Headache or backache - 26 times

    Sunburn - 10 times

    Your mother will hear us - 9 times

    Not in the mood - 21 times

    Watching the late show - 17 times

    Too sore - 26 times

    New hairdo - 6 times

    Wrong time of the month - 14 times

    You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times

    Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??


    Love, Your Hubby




    **********************




    To My Dearest Husband,


    I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:

    Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times

    Did not come home at all - 36 times

    Did not come - 21 times

    Came too soon - 38 times

    Went soft before you got it in - 19 times

    Cramps in your leg - 16 times

    Working too late - 33 times

    You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times

    Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times

    You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times

    You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times

    You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times

    You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times

    Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times

    The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"


    Love, Your Wife
    Matthew
    Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason


    HT

    Yamaha RX-V2500
    CS400-Center
    SDA 1A-Mains
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  26. #266

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    According to a news report, a certain school in Garden City, MI was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old
    girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom.
    That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

    Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
    Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

    He called all the girls to the washroom and met them there with the maintenance man. He explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

    To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, he asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

    He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it
    in the TOILET BOWL, and cleaned the mirror with it.

    Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. ~~~~~~~~

    THE MORAL OF THIS STORY..~~~~~~~~~~~

    There are teachers, and then there are Educators.
    Skynut
    SOPA® Founder
    The system Almost there
    DVD Onkyo DV-SP802
    Sunfire Theater Grand II
    Sherbourn 7/2100
    Panamax 5510 power conditioner (for electronics)
    2 PSAudio UPC-200 power conditioners (for amps)
    Front L/R RT3000p (Bi-Wired)
    Center CS1000p (Bi-Wired) (under the television)
    Center RT2000p's (Bi-Wired) (on each side of the television)
    Sur FX1000
    SVS ultra plus 2

    www.ShadetreesMachineShop.com
    Thanks for looking

  27. #267

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    Beware of this scam!


    I don't how many of you shop at Costco, but this may be useful to know; I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.

    Here's how the scam works:

    Two seriously good-looking 25-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible to not look.

    When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Costco. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

    I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, once yesterday and most likely tomorrow.
    Skynut
    SOPA® Founder
    The system Almost there
    DVD Onkyo DV-SP802
    Sunfire Theater Grand II
    Sherbourn 7/2100
    Panamax 5510 power conditioner (for electronics)
    2 PSAudio UPC-200 power conditioners (for amps)
    Front L/R RT3000p (Bi-Wired)
    Center CS1000p (Bi-Wired) (under the television)
    Center RT2000p's (Bi-Wired) (on each side of the television)
    Sur FX1000
    SVS ultra plus 2

    www.ShadetreesMachineShop.com
    Thanks for looking

  28. #268
    Polk Woodpecker
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    Sounds a lot like the movie "Dutch".

  29. #269

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    A photographer from National Geographic magazine was
    assigned to cover Southern California's wildfires. The magazine wanted
    pictures of the heroic work the fire fighters were doing as they battled
    the blazes.

    When the photographer arrived on the scene he realized that the smoke was
    so thick that it would seriously impede, or even make impossible, his
    obtaining good photographs from ground-level.

    He requested permission from his boss to rent a plane and take photos from
    the air. His request was approved, and via a cell phone call to the local
    county airport, necessary arrangements were made. He was told a
    single-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

    He arrived at the airfield and spotted a plane warming up outside a
    hangar. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted,
    "Let's go!"

    The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind, and roared down the
    runway. Within just a minute or two of his arrival they were in the air.

    The photographer requested the pilot to, "Fly over the valley and make two
    or three low passes so I can take some pictures of the fires on the
    hillsides."

    "Why?" asked the pilot.

    "Because I'm a photographer for National Geographic," he responded, "and I
    need to get some close-up shots."

    The pilot was strangely silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "So,
    you're telling me you're not the flight instructor?"
    Skynut
    SOPA® Founder
    The system Almost there
    DVD Onkyo DV-SP802
    Sunfire Theater Grand II
    Sherbourn 7/2100
    Panamax 5510 power conditioner (for electronics)
    2 PSAudio UPC-200 power conditioners (for amps)
    Front L/R RT3000p (Bi-Wired)
    Center CS1000p (Bi-Wired) (under the television)
    Center RT2000p's (Bi-Wired) (on each side of the television)
    Sur FX1000
    SVS ultra plus 2

    www.ShadetreesMachineShop.com
    Thanks for looking

  30. #270

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    ROFL!!!! I think that's the best one yet!!

    :D:D:D:D :p
    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
    My Saga
    Equipment Pictures

    [2CH]
    Rotel RCD-02
    Yamaha KX-W900U
    Sony ST-S500ES
    Denon DP-7F
    Parasound P/HP-850
    Parasound HCA-1000A
    Klipsch RF-35


    [In Storage]
    Yamaha CDR-HD1300
    ASL Wave 20 monoblocks
    Pro-Ject Phono Box MKII


    [Car System]
    Pioneer Premier DEH-P860MP
    Memphis 16-MCA3004
    Boston Acoustic RC520

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