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Thread: THE joke thread

  1. #601

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    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up.

    "Watson," he says, "Look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

    Watson replies, "I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

    Holmes says: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"
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  2. #602

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    A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks
    over at him and asks the question.

    WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
    HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

    WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
    HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

    WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
    HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

    WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
    HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

    WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
    HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

    WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
    HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

    WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
    HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

    WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
    HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

    WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
    HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

    WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?
    HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

    WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?
    HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

    WIFE: -- silence --
    HUSBAND: "sh**."
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  3. #603

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    A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
    shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little MARK.

    He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

    The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

    Then little MARK says, "I have a question for YOU.

    There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

    One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
    The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

    The third is biting off the top of the ice cream!
    Which one is married?"

    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
    that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

    To which Little MARK replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
    wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."
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  4. #604

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    A man staggered home late after another evening with his drinking buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step in the darkened entryway.

    As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing to suppress a yelp, the man sprung up, pulled down his pants, and examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks in the mirror of a nearby darkened hallway, then managed to find a large full box of Band-Aids before proceeding to place a patch as best he could on each place he saw blood. After hiding the now almost empty box, he managed to shuffle and stumble his way to bed.

    In the morning, the man awoke with searing pain in head and butt and his wife staring at him from across the room. She said, "You were drunk again last night." Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at her and replied,"Now, hon, why would you say such a mean thing?"

    "Well," she said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but, mostly....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the downstairs mirror!"
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  5. #605

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    One afternoon Andy the lawyer was riding in his large, expensive BMW
    when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he
    got off his cell phone to stop and investigate.

    Andy asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

    "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.. "We have
    to eat grass."

    Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" Andy said.

    "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

    "Bring them along" Andy replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come
    with us also."

    The second man, then said in a pitiful voice,

    "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

    "Bring them all, as well!!!" Andy answered. They all entered the luxurious lawyer's car,
    which was no easy task, even for a car as large as an expensive BMW.

    Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to Andy and said, "Sir, you are too kind.
    Thank you for taking all of us with you."

    Andy replied simply,

    "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
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  6. #606
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  7. #607

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    ROFLMREO!!!!! That's great!!! I don't think I've ever laughed out loud like that at an internet joke!
    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
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  8. #608

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    A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
    He asks, "What was that for?"
    She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."
    He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
    He asks, "What was that for?"
    She answers, "Your horse called."
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  9. #609
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    My mailbox is being flooded with mail concerning gas prices and
    illegal immigrants. To boycott oil companies or not; to provide amnesty to illegal immigrants or not, etc.
    Since I have become jaded to the various solutions proposed by the Republicans, Democrats, Sierra Club, ACLU, etc. I have elected to solve the problems as they affect me. It solves both my gas and illegal immigrant problems. I have hired illegal immigrants to push my car. They're plentiful and cheaper than buying gas. Then I pay them in pesos so they have to go home to spend it.
    I love it when a plan comes together.
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
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  10. #610

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    Hahahaha! Man, I wish that would work! :p
    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
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  11. #611

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    Q. What's the ultimate rejection?
    A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
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  12. #612

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    Some sex jokes???

    Q. What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar?
    A. A love call.

    Q. How do you give a blind queer a thrill?
    A. Leave the plunger in the toilet.

    Q. How do lesbians handle their liquor?
    A. By the ears. (Lick her)

    Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common?
    A. No ball room

    Q. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
    A. Doughnuts.

    Q. What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room
    together?
    A. 100 people who don't do dick.

    Q. What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the
    factory?
    A. Two test tickles

    Q. Why did God create alcohol?
    A. So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.

    Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
    A. 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
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  13. #613

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    Quote Originally Posted by MrNightly

    Q. What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the
    factory?
    A. Two test tickles
    Ha ha:D
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  14. #614
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frank Z
    My mailbox is being flooded with mail concerning gas prices and
    illegal immigrants. To boycott oil companies or not; to provide amnesty to illegal immigrants or not, etc.
    Since I have become jaded to the various solutions proposed by the Republicans, Democrats, Sierra Club, ACLU, etc. I have elected to solve the problems as they affect me. It solves both my gas and illegal immigrant problems. I have hired illegal immigrants to push my car. They're plentiful and cheaper than buying gas. Then I pay them in pesos so they have to go home to spend it.
    I love it when a plan comes together.
    ROTFLMREO (first coined by AudioBliss)

  15. #615
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    Default World's Best Divorce Letter

    World's Best Divorce Letter

    Dear Connie,

    I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says "There's no one like you, Connie." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close.

    Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'm never really thought of that before.

    I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I've tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

    Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."

    Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

    And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you. It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

    If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.

    Otherwise, can you let me know where the f@#K!%& remote is.

    Love, Chris

  16. #616

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    That's pretty good...
    I smell ass, burning ass, glowing cherry red spanked ass.

    RT1

  17. #617

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    I like it :)

    Might have to keep this one handy... hmmm
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  18. #618

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    Yo mamma is so fat that she jumped up in the air.....and got stuck!

    Yo mamma is so ugly that she went thru a haunted house and came out with a paycheck!
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  19. #619

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    CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."

    Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"

    "You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

    Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.

    "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

    "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."

    The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"

    Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, Peter, Peter, something or other..."
    ___________________________________________


    PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

    A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

    Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
    _____________________________________________
    ____________________________________________

    SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to
    me! Lie to me!"
    ___________________________________________

    Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
    ____________________________________________
    One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged in sex.

    "What's that?" he asked.

    She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."

    Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."

    Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"

    "Just checking for bees," said Tarzan
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    Tarzan is swinging through the trees when he spies a woman looking lost in the jungle.

    Tarzan swings down and lands in front of the woman which startles her.

    He gets in her face and growls, "What Name?" The woman baffled replies I don't understand could you repeat the questions? He growls again, "What Name?" She now understands and very sheepishly replies, "Jane." Tarzan looking as though he his loosing patience replies loudly, "WHAT WHOLE NAME?" Jane now more startled and very freightend replies, "C#NT."

  21. #621
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    Default Gotta love the NY Italians!

    An Italian is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell
    phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of
    drinks for everybody in the bar announcing his wife had produced a
    typical Italian baby boy weighing 25 pounds.


    Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but
    the Italian guy just shrugs, "That's about average back home,
    folks......like I said, my boy's a typical Italian bambino."


    Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of
    "WOW"....one woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say you're the father of that typical Italian baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
    The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a little suspicious.
    "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"
    The Italian father takes a long swig of Sambuca, wipes his lips on his
    shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says.....

    "We had him circumcised."

  22. #622

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    For hearingimpared...





    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
    My Saga
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  23. #623

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    Job Opening for Texas Highway Patrol

    Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

    The blondes nodded.

    The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a police officer, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth."

    So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

    The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

    The detective shook his head. "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

    The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde,stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

    "Yes! He only has one ear!"

    The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"

    The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

    The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but......" He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything
    distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

    The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

    The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

    The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."
    Honoured to be, an original SOPA founding member
    Stuff...

    RTi12's - front
    CSi5 - center
    FXi3's - surrounds
    RTi4's - surrounds
    SVS PB12-NSD/2 - sub :D :D :D
    Denon 3805
    Rotel RB-985 5-Channel Amplifier
    Samsung 3600 BluRay Player


    Life is Good!

  24. #624

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    One Smart doggie

    A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking
    her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

    One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles
    discovers that he's lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard
    heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

    The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing
    some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew
    on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard
    is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one
    delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

    Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look
    of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!",
    says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

    Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a
    nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade
    it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle
    sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
    something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard,
    spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

    The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

    Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his
    back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running,
    the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't
    seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old
    poodle says.

    "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
    another leopard!
    Honoured to be, an original SOPA founding member
    Stuff...

    RTi12's - front
    CSi5 - center
    FXi3's - surrounds
    RTi4's - surrounds
    SVS PB12-NSD/2 - sub :D :D :D
    Denon 3805
    Rotel RB-985 5-Channel Amplifier
    Samsung 3600 BluRay Player


    Life is Good!

  25. #625

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    ROFLMREO @ both of them. Those are great! :D
    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
    My Saga
    Equipment Pictures

    [2CH]
    Rotel RCD-02
    Yamaha KX-W900U
    Sony ST-S500ES
    Denon DP-7F
    Parasound P/HP-850
    Parasound HCA-1000A
    Klipsch RF-35


    [In Storage]
    Yamaha CDR-HD1300
    ASL Wave 20 monoblocks
    Pro-Ject Phono Box MKII


    [Car System]
    Pioneer Premier DEH-P860MP
    Memphis 16-MCA3004
    Boston Acoustic RC520

  26. #626

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    Bill Clinton is out for his morning jog around the white house with the secret
    service agents. Around one corner is a prostitute who yells, "Hey Bill, $100
    and Bill says no $20. This goes on for weeks as each morning the same scenario
    plays out. One night Hillary tells Bill that tomorrow she is gong to join him
    on his morning jog. He's a bit nervous because he knows the prostitute will be
    out there. He informs the secret service to go across the street and then turn
    instead of the usual way. The next morning Bill and Hillary and the Secret
    Service are out for the jog and they approach the corner and go across to the
    park. The prostitute sees them and keeps pacing back and forth. She finally
    yells out, "Hey Bill, see what $20 gets you!"
    Skynut
    SOPAŽ Founder
    The system Almost there
    DVD Onkyo DV-SP802
    Sunfire Theater Grand II
    Sherbourn 7/2100
    Panamax 5510 power conditioner (for electronics)
    2 PSAudio UPC-200 power conditioners (for amps)
    Front L/R RT3000p (Bi-Wired)
    Center CS1000p (Bi-Wired) (under the television)
    Center RT2000p's (Bi-Wired) (on each side of the television)
    Sur FX1000
    SVS ultra plus 2

    www.ShadetreesMachineShop.com
    Thanks for looking

  27. #627

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    I just saw this bumper sticker today:

    Clinton
    The president who did it between the Bushes.
    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
    My Saga
    Equipment Pictures

    [2CH]
    Rotel RCD-02
    Yamaha KX-W900U
    Sony ST-S500ES
    Denon DP-7F
    Parasound P/HP-850
    Parasound HCA-1000A
    Klipsch RF-35


    [In Storage]
    Yamaha CDR-HD1300
    ASL Wave 20 monoblocks
    Pro-Ject Phono Box MKII


    [Car System]
    Pioneer Premier DEH-P860MP
    Memphis 16-MCA3004
    Boston Acoustic RC520

  28. #628

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    Apple Computer reported today that it has developed a computer chip
    that can store music in women's breast implants.

    It is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always
    complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
    Skynut
    SOPAŽ Founder
    The system Almost there
    DVD Onkyo DV-SP802
    Sunfire Theater Grand II
    Sherbourn 7/2100
    Panamax 5510 power conditioner (for electronics)
    2 PSAudio UPC-200 power conditioners (for amps)
    Front L/R RT3000p (Bi-Wired)
    Center CS1000p (Bi-Wired) (under the television)
    Center RT2000p's (Bi-Wired) (on each side of the television)
    Sur FX1000
    SVS ultra plus 2

    www.ShadetreesMachineShop.com
    Thanks for looking

  29. #629

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    Here's the plan:



    Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.



    Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.



    Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.



    In three generations, there will be no Democrats!!!



    Damn, I love it when a plan comes together!
    Skynut
    SOPAŽ Founder
    The system Almost there
    DVD Onkyo DV-SP802
    Sunfire Theater Grand II
    Sherbourn 7/2100
    Panamax 5510 power conditioner (for electronics)
    2 PSAudio UPC-200 power conditioners (for amps)
    Front L/R RT3000p (Bi-Wired)
    Center CS1000p (Bi-Wired) (under the television)
    Center RT2000p's (Bi-Wired) (on each side of the television)
    Sur FX1000
    SVS ultra plus 2

    www.ShadetreesMachineShop.com
    Thanks for looking

  30. #630

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    God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me."

    Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?
    God said, "Go down into that valley."

    Adam said, "What's a valley?"

    God explained it to him.

    Then God said, "Cross the river."

    Adam said, "What's a river?"

    God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill......"

    Adam said, "What is a hill?"

    So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.

    He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave"

    Adam said, "What's a cave?"

    After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will find a Woman."

    Adam said, "What's a woman?"

    So God explained that to him, too.

    Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce."

    Adam said, "How do I do that?"

    God first said (under his breath), "Geez....."

    And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

    So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

    Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

    God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"

    And Adam said

    *

    *

    *

    *

    *

    *

    *
    *

    *

    *

    *

    "What's a headache?
    Skynut
    SOPAŽ Founder
    The system Almost there
    DVD Onkyo DV-SP802
    Sunfire Theater Grand II
    Sherbourn 7/2100
    Panamax 5510 power conditioner (for electronics)
    2 PSAudio UPC-200 power conditioners (for amps)
    Front L/R RT3000p (Bi-Wired)
    Center CS1000p (Bi-Wired) (under the television)
    Center RT2000p's (Bi-Wired) (on each side of the television)
    Sur FX1000
    SVS ultra plus 2

    www.ShadetreesMachineShop.com
    Thanks for looking

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