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  1. #1

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    Default More Chuck Norris

    A few of these are repeats, but most of them aren't. Some VERY good ones in here:

    http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

  2. #2

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    This one is hilarious!

    "When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."


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    I'm not saying she's a slut, but if her vagina had a password...it would be password.

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    Man, there are some good ones there! These are my favorites:

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

    If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

    Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

    Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

    The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.
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    Becareful what you say, Chuck Norris owns the internet (actually the internet bows to his wishes), so he may find out what you say about him.
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  5. #5
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    In adddition to some of the above, these produced spontaneous laughter here:
    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

    Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

    Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

    Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
    More later,
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    Those are so funny. I feel awkward giggling at work though.

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    I don't know why I love these so much but it doesn't get any better than..

    " If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down". :D
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    My alltime favorite Chuck Norris line and one of my alltime favorite movie lines ever was from Incasion USA.

    You walk thru that door and Ill hit you with so many rights youll beg for a left.
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  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Demiurge
    Totally awesome.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Demiurge
    Wow, that's great!
    You walk thru that door and Ill hit you with so many rights youll beg for a left.
    I think I'd prefer it if it said "You walk through that door and I'll hit you with so many lefts you'll beg for a right." Wouldn't that make sense? I'll hit you with so many lefts, you'll beg for a right which will knock you out, meaning you won't have to endure any more lefts...
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  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by audiobliss
    I think I'd prefer it if it said "You walk through that door and I'll hit you with so many lefts you'll beg for a right." Wouldn't that make sense? I'll hit you with so many lefts, you'll beg for a right which will knock you out, meaning you won't have to endure any more lefts...
    It doesn't matter, before you have a chance to beg, you will be silenced by a roundhouse kick to the face.

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by audiobliss
    Wow, that's great!

    I think I'd prefer it if it said "You walk through that door and I'll hit you with so many lefts you'll beg for a right." Wouldn't that make sense? I'll hit you with so many lefts, you'll beg for a right which will knock you out, meaning you won't have to endure any more lefts...
    Maybe he's left-handed?
    If you will it, dude, it is no dream.

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    They've got the same deal out for jack bauer. Actually, I think the originated with the Jack bauer stuff and then the Chuck Norris, could be wrong though...

    http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty
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    You are. It actually originated with Vin Diesel, believe it or not. Chuck Norris came after. Jack Bauer was barely popular when these first came out.
    If you will it, dude, it is no dream.

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    It started with Vin Diesel and the D & D crowd.

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    If it wasn't so damn expensive, I'd make my own shirt (via www.chucknorrisfacts.com). I made a pretty kick ass one that I want but seriously, $40 for a damn t-shirt?
    Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

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    Well there you go then, I stand corrected - I just never happened to see these until the Jack bauer ones...
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  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Toxis
    If it wasn't so damn expensive, I'd make my own shirt (via www.chucknorrisfacts.com). I made a pretty kick ass one that I want but seriously, $40 for a damn t-shirt?
    make your own here

    I can't vouch for the site but I found it on a thread at FatWallet and people seem pleased with the results. Original Thread

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