I have decided that I should win the free PSW350 that is being given away. Um.. who do I need to inform about that so the arrangements can be made?
Farmer working in the field gets kicked in the head by his donkey and dies. At the funeral, all the couple's friends are lined up to pay respects to the widow. The preacher notices that each each man leans in and whispers to the widow and she slowly shakes her head yes. Each woman leans in and says something and the farmer's wife slowly shakes her head no. The preacher can't take it any longer so he asks the widow what all the people are saying. She replies.. all the men say "he sure was a good man." All the women say "is the donkey for sale?"
A guy is missing one leg from the knee down. He meets a beautiful woman and they start dating. He wants to tell her about his leg, but doesn't want her to freak out or reject him, so he remains quiet. They fall in love.. he wants to tell her, but can't. They get engaged.. wants to tell her but can't... they get married and are on their honeymoon and he STILL hasn't told her (obviously this was a very upright couple..) FINALLY, lying in bed on their first night married he realizes he can't wait any longer. But he STILL can't bring himself to say the words. So, he says "honey, I've wanted to tell you something for so long, but I've been afraid.. and now I've let it go and we're married and I'm still so afraid." She says "I love you, you can tell me anything.. we're married and we can handle anything..." He STILL can't voice the words so he reaches over and takes her hand and puts it on his stump. Her eyes get wide.. and she says "Oh, my, this is a surprise... but, give me the vaseline and I'll see what I can do."
Hey.. it's Friday...