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  1. #1

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    Default Favortie George Grand-isms

    Let em rip, our resident wordsmith sure has a way of telling it like it is sometimes, no?

    Here are a couple of my favorites, to get the ball rolling.......

    A baseball hat, worn fashionably backwards, is usually a sure sign of a complete moron.

    If she sounds nice on the phone, or over the radio, she's tipping the scales at between 250 and 300.

    The more lights and buzzers, the worse the piece will sound.

    Dollar (or less) a watt. Fair price for anything usually.
    Personally, I don't hold my flatus for anyone. You can get a wicked stomach ache that way. I know that you guys don't want me to get a stomach ache.
    How about the sayings that are pure bull****? Like, "What you can't see, can't hurt you." Obviously, this ******* never saw Predator. Or, like closing your eyes before you jump in a wood chipper is gonna help.

    "Honesty is the best policy." Right. I have gotten the daylights beat out of me for telling the truth. Telling the truth is situational.

    "A bird in the hand, is worth two in the bush." ANYBODY have ANY damn idea what this is supposed to mean? Who do you sell birds TO, IF you have /catch one?

    "Better to be safe than sorry." Ever see the babes that hang out with the "safe" guys? No thanks.

    "Any landing you can walk away from....." BULL****! It's a lot better if you can USE THE AIRPLANE AGAIN after you walk away.
    So he could easily have said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Which would have not been any better, because WHO has chickens? Maybe chicken farmers. A fine piece of country advice. What good does it do the average guy trying to date Puerto Rican girls in New York? Watch.

    Puerto Rican guy - "How come you sniffing around my woman?"

    Young George - "Cause she's fine, and I didn't think you were around, and I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch."

    Puerto Rican guy - "Let's go outside and I'm gonna help you count you chickens out there."

    See.
    Cheers,
    Russ
    Last edited by RuSsMaN; 04-21-2007 at 03:58 AM.
    Check your lips at the door woman. Shake your hips like battleships. Yeah, all the white girls trip when I sing at Sunday service.

  2. #2

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    A long time ago, I actually set foot in Yankee Stadium (indian territory for ANY Brooklyn Dodger fan), and watched the jack-booted, Waffen SS, scumbag New York Yankee's play a game. It's something I'm not proud of, but hey, it happened.
    PEOPLE DO MAKE MISTAKES.....but I don't know about this Bose **** Aaron.
    Crackpot
    Man, I gotta hit the archives...George has got panache coming out the wazoo.

    BDT
    Last edited by TroyD; 04-21-2007 at 03:53 AM.
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut

  3. #3

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    Man stop bugging me! You're jamming up my concentration. I'm in the middle of teaching guys how to fish for bread.


    Rye Cooder
    More classic George (interacting with Darrin the Lunatic)

    BDT
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut

  4. #4

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    A little out of context, but it still made me laugh.

    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    .....We are very UNFORTUNATE not to have dbartol (Darrin the Lunatic) around anymore. He was a good friend, loved to help me pound on Snake,....
    I have a feeling this is going to be a GREAT thread.
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  5. #5

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    This one to Polk's Justin is cute.

    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)
    Bet when you were younger you had to ride the bus. The little one at that. Still have the helmet?

    George Grand (of the Jersey Grand's)
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  6. #6

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    Anyone else catch the irony of getting turned on looking at another mans wife (moses' no less) while watching the Ten Commandments?

    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Here in Jersey, The 10 Commandments is airing right now. Check it out and get a load of what Lily Munster looked like in her hayday. She plays Moses' wife. Man, there's heat rays coming off her.
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  7. #7

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    Then again he does know how to apologize...

    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    You "thought", and that thought was wrong. hence, your thinking was wrong, which in my world means the opposite of right, which in my world means "incorrect" or diametrecally opposed to being "right" which is as far from correct as one can be. HOWEVER, you did add a question mark at the end of the sentence, even though the sentence wasn't in the form of a question, it was in the form of a statement. A thousand pardons. No, TWO thousand pardons. I'm wrong. I'm ALWAYS wrong.
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  8. #8

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    George on being stupid....

    Please tell me you're not as stupid as you sound. If you can't say that, try not saying anything.
    Hey stupid, has it occurred to you that each and every person that has posted on this thread is sitting at home in front of their computer, laughing their asses off at how dumb you are. Did you think about that? Do you think?
    I noticed that this knuckleheads threads disappear fairly quickly. What pray tell are the chances his stupid, long-winded self got banned or eaten by a pterodactyl.
    Try to do something special for SOMEONE special, and that little loser is too stupid to realize it's not a good time to be him and stupid.
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

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    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson

  9. #9

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    Oh Please I remember rollling on the floor over some of these comments, We should publish a book of these. Now if I could Just remember who I was back then?

  10. #10

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    "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you've fed him for life."

    The intent of this is obviously noble, but not at all helpful to me. I don't eat fish. I am a true carnivore, only eating meat. Show me how to catch a steak or a cheeseburger (maybe even a nice Chicken Kiev) with a fish, and I won't bother you anymore. You could also show me how to catch any of the above mentioned with a salad, and it would also be helpful, cause I don't like too much in the way of grassy material either.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you've fed him for life."

    The intent of this is obviously noble, but not at all helpful to me. I don't eat fish. I am a true carnivore, only eating meat. Show me how to catch a steak or a cheeseburger (maybe even a nice Chicken Kiev) with a fish, and I won't bother you anymore. You could also show me how to catch any of the above mentioned with a salad, and it would also be helpful, cause I don't like too much in the way of grassy material either.
    Call "The Outback"! They catch it, cook it and bag it for you. They offer reserved parking for pickup and if you give them a credit card, they'll bring it to your car. You can go in your jammies! I think Applebee's Ruby Tuesday's and Fridays offer this service also. I've done it myself.

    Please send $50 consulting fee.
    Carl

  12. #12

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    *bump*

    Not a day goes by where I don't laugh about something El Roma has imparted....

    BDT
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut

  13. #13

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    My favorite George-ism: (hope I get it right)

    "What I'm about to say may offend some people, but you need to know up front that I don't give a damn."

    LOL!!!!

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  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    I got a boner from all this.

    Not a bad one...
    Good music, a good source, and good power can make SDA's sing. Tubes make them dance.

  15. #15

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    I'm not 100% sure what hob knobing is all about. If it has anything to do with talking about vinyl or audio, that crap's too boring. I just like to "watch" now, if you catch my dwift.
    It's recent too!
    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
    It's recent too!
    There could be a thread with some of your quotes as well, but they might hurt the weak..
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  17. #17

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    These are awesome! lol

    How about the sayings that are pure bull****? Like, "What you can't see, can't hurt you." Obviously, this ******* never saw Predator. Or, like closing your eyes before you jump in a wood chipper is gonna help.

    "Any landing you can walk away from....." BULL****! It's a lot better if you can USE THE AIRPLANE AGAIN after you walk away.
    So he could easily have said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Which would have not been any better, because WHO has chickens? Maybe chicken farmers. A fine piece of country advice. What good does it do the average guy trying to date Puerto Rican girls in New York? Watch.

    Puerto Rican guy - "How come you sniffing around my woman?"

    Young George - "Cause she's fine, and I didn't think you were around, and I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch."

    Puerto Rican guy - "Let's go outside and I'm gonna help you count you chickens out there."
    --Gary--

  18. #18

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    Glad to have been at the receiving end of one of those Grand-ism's, I feel like an idiot even though, I survived through it ( sigh ) life goes on. At least I,am not as devastated as Puerto Rican Guy. George should keep em coming even if they are at my expense. Ha Ha lots of good ones here.

  19. #19

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    Bees
    That's it. Just
    Bees

  20. #20

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    George-ism's.....heck man, every thread he posts in contains one or two.

    I can tell you this, the man owes me about 10 bucks for all the Windex I've used over the years cleaning the coffee off my 'puter screen.

  21. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by Toolfan66 View Post
    There could be a thread with some of your quotes as well, but they might hurt the weak..
    I'm failing to see the problem here.
    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
    I'm failing to see the problem here.
    Touché...
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  23. #23

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    "There's no substitute for large radiating surfaces and a man's amp."
    'Political Correctness'.........defined

    "A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

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    Military lifers tend to be very blunt. As a MSGT (or whatever) he's been able to intimidate those inferior to him for so long, so it also tends to extend to real life in a way. Not saying that's a negative...I was "in" for 8 yrs myself... and I like the guy even though I've never been sure what he thinks of me (nor do I necessarily care) ....just sayin', he's kinda like a combination of Charles In Charge , George Carlin and those two grumpy guys on the Muppet Show.
    Last edited by dragon1952; 07-23-2013 at 12:36 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dragon1952 View Post
    Military lifers tend to be very blunt.
    I thought Mr. Grand was in the Air Force. Does that count ?

    Well .... I guess successfully planning, scheduling, and attending regiment dinners, debutante balls, and cotillions and figuring out what to wear, proper etiquette etc does take precise, almost military precision.
    So, okay. It's decided. The Air Force does count as military.

    I may have shot past "Permanent Bozo List" to "Eternal Bozo List"

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by dragon1952 View Post
    Military lifers tend to be very blunt. As a MSGT (or whatever) he's been able to intimidate those inferior to him for so long, so it also tends to extend to real life in a way. Not saying that's a negative...I was "in" for 8 yrs myself... and I like the guy even though I've never been sure what he thinks of me (nor do I necessarily care) ....just sayin', he's kinda like a combination of Charles In Charge , George Carlin and those two grumpy guys on the Muppet Show.
    He's just a regular george from brooklyn; Old brooklyn that is. We're just lucky enough to have him grazing our forum.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dragon1952 View Post
    Military lifers tend to be very blunt. As a MSGT (or whatever) he's been able to intimidate those inferior to him for so long, so it also tends to extend to real life in a way. Not saying that's a negative...I was "in" for 8 yrs myself... and I like the guy even though I've never been sure what he thinks of me (nor do I necessarily care) ....just sayin', he's kinda like a combination of Charles In Charge , George Carlin and those two grumpy guys on the Muppet Show.
    Really wide of the mark man. Not a military lifer. 32 years as a federal employee with the pension to prove it. One more time... A stipulation of my contract with the feds mandated that I hold a position in the New Jersey Air Guard in order to hold the fed position. THIS is my military experience. I attended Air Force schools in order to become proficient at my job. I lived, ate, drank, and spent a great amount of leisure time with them as well after training but I was never IN the Air Force, not for five minutes. Even when activated for all the desert stuff and more, I was an activated guardsmen, not active duty Air Force. I just had a lifetime of exposure up close and personal. I never felt superior to anyone (except those who were obviously trying to fill an inferior niche in life), and was rarely if ever, in a supervisory position. I had hundreds of STUDENTS that I trained to be boom operators, but really did not perform a supervisory role.

    Master of Sergeants. Master Sergeant. I can't speak for the Army, and definitely not the Marines or the swabbies. You go to an Air Force base these days and see a master sergeant make a suggestion to a one or two-striper. Then watch as that one or two-striper flips the old sarge the bird, walks away laughing, gets into his/her Lexus or Jaguar, and drives off (laughing).

    I don't like any of my inputs, I've heard them all before.

  28. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Get as pissed off as you want, then stick it up your zorch and fly to the moon for all I care. I met a new Polk guy yesterday and he's a HUNK so I might have a new boyfriend anyway.


    Buddy's not going to like that. All these Chieftains and Willie N. are going to make great wall decos.
    Zorchin' w/George.

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    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Really wide of the mark man. Not a military lifer. 32 years as a federal employee with the pension to prove it. One more time... A stipulation of my contract with the feds mandated that I hold a position in the New Jersey Air Guard in order to hold the fed position. THIS is my military experience. I attended Air Force schools in order to become proficient at my job. I lived, ate, drank, and spent a great amount of leisure time with them as well after training but I was never IN the Air Force, not for five minutes. Even when activated for all the desert stuff and more, I was an activated guardsmen, not active duty Air Force. I just had a lifetime of exposure up close and personal. I never felt superior to anyone (except those who were obviously trying to fill an inferior niche in life), and was rarely if ever, in a supervisory position. I had hundreds of STUDENTS that I trained to be boom operators, but really did not perform a supervisory role.

    Master of Sergeants. Master Sergeant. I can't speak for the Army, and definitely not the Marines or the swabbies. You go to an Air Force base these days and see a master sergeant make a suggestion to a one or two-striper. Then watch as that one or two-striper flips the old sarge the bird, walks away laughing, gets into his/her Lexus or Jaguar, and drives off (laughing).

    I don't like any of my inputs, I've heard them all before.
    Well at least I had the grumpy Muppet guys part right. But seriously though, I guess that's the problem with picking up bits and pieces along the way and making assumptions not knowing WTF you are talking about. As a 32 yr fed /military lifer myself I sincerely apologize for my drunken and mis-informative diatribe.
    Last edited by dragon1952; 07-23-2013 at 11:46 PM.
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  30. #30
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    For some reason George always reminded me of the guy on the right.


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