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  1. #1

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    Default Fun quotes from "For Sale" adds

    I thought this would be a fun subject; have seen many "quotable" adds..

    I'll get started with this one:

    "This record is used, but in excellent condition. It has scuffs but they are from careful use."
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  2. #2

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    from a suzuki bike ad:

    "I'm selling because it was purchased without the proper consent of a loving wife, Apparently "do whatever the **** you want" doesn't mean what I thought"
    Attached Images  
    Last edited by carpenter; 09-04-2007 at 03:38 PM. Reason: found image
    "If the global crisis continues, by the end of the year Only two Banks will be operational, the Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank. Then these 2 banks will merge and it will be called 'The Bloody ****ing Bank'"

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by carpenter View Post
    from a suzuki bike ad:

    "I'm selling because it was purchased without the proper consent of a loving wife, Apparently "do whatever the **** you want" doesn't mean what I thought"
    That quote is priceless!!!!

  4. #4

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    From a local pennysaver newspaper.

    "Well endowed male with herpes seeks female with same for intimacy and friendship."

    A well endowed female w/herpes?

  5. #5

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    Must be looking for a Herme :D

  6. #6

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    Sunfire preamp ad on Ebay

    "Next best thing is to use Sunfire's Precision Inverse RIAA network to listen to CDs through its classic vacuum tube phone stage. Digital recording will sound like analog LP."
    Dodd - Battery Preamp
    Monarchy Audio SE100 Delux - mono power amps
    Sony DVP-NS999ES - SACD player
    ADS 1230 - Polk SDA 2B
    DIY Stereo Subwoofer towers w/(4) 12 drivers each
    Crown K1 - Subwoofer amp
    Outlaw ICBM - crossover
    Beringher BFD - sub eq

    Where is the remote? Where is the $%#$% remote!

    "I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us have...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad..."

  7. #7

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    The Audio Research Reference 600 monoblocks are a fling, a one-night stand or a filthily expensive, unforgettable dirty weekend. These babies don't want anything to do with, or even any trace of, a long-term relationship. They could tear your heart apart and leave you broke in the blink of an eye and you would just have to pick yourself up again get on with your life.

    If you are still lucky enough to be single and insist on having THE biggest pair of stainless steel testicles in Australia then these mammoth monsters have your name on the shipping label. Providing of course you can pay for them but at less than half the cost of their original new price are you going to complain? Well some of you will I am sure but you know what you can do about that...

    Let nobody doubt your manhood ever again with these World Heavy Weight Champions featured prominently in your Hi-Fi room on centre stage.

    Much to my disappointment, never have I sold any Reference 600's to a customer that has had a gal to answer to. Too spineless and pussy whipped I'm afraid is all too often the case. But there are a few Hardcore Tubeheadz out there that will let no man, woman or child stand in the way of their ultimate listening pleasure. To them; I salute you! We should all have the good manners to stand back and admire their pure and uncompromising dedication to an utterly extravagant and overwhelmingly hardcore indulgence in a world that is growing more mundane and impersonal each and every spirit sapping day. Come home to these perfect REF600 Mk.III monoblocks every night and you will be lifted to another dimension of reality that so few will ever experience in their lifetime it almost makes you feel an ounce of pity for their sad and sorry souls. But nay, I did said; almost.
    _________________________________________________
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    Thank God for different opinions. Imagine the world if we all wanted the same woman

  8. #8

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    that bike ad made me laugh so loud that my wife came into my office to see what was up...

    I told her,"sounds like the boat !"





    I still think it`s funny....!
    Cary SLP-98L F1 DC Pre Amp (Jag Blue)
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  9. #9

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    Default

    Here is a typical ebay ad.

    Inside the ad it states:

    "We highly recommend our buyers to purchase insurance for your items, we will be not responsible for any lost or damaged items."

    At the bottom of the ad it states:

    "Shipping insurance
    Not offered"


    Go figure.
    Michael ;)
    In the beginning, all knowledge was new!

    NORTH of 60

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by HTrookie View Post
    The Audio Research Reference 600 monoblocks are a fling, a one-night stand or a filthily expensive, unforgettable dirty weekend. These babies don't want anything to do with, or even any trace of, a long-term relationship. They could tear your heart apart and leave you broke in the blink of an eye and you would just have to pick yourself up again get on with your life.

    If you are still lucky enough to be single and insist on having THE biggest pair of stainless steel testicles in Australia then these mammoth monsters have your name on the shipping label. Providing of course you can pay for them but at less than half the cost of their original new price are you going to complain? Well some of you will I am sure but you know what you can do about that...

    Let nobody doubt your manhood ever again with these World Heavy Weight Champions featured prominently in your Hi-Fi room on centre stage.

    Much to my disappointment, never have I sold any Reference 600's to a customer that has had a gal to answer to. Too spineless and pussy whipped I'm afraid is all too often the case. But there are a few Hardcore Tubeheadz out there that will let no man, woman or child stand in the way of their ultimate listening pleasure. To them; I salute you! We should all have the good manners to stand back and admire their pure and uncompromising dedication to an utterly extravagant and overwhelmingly hardcore indulgence in a world that is growing more mundane and impersonal each and every spirit sapping day. Come home to these perfect REF600 Mk.III monoblocks every night and you will be lifted to another dimension of reality that so few will ever experience in their lifetime it almost makes you feel an ounce of pity for their sad and sorry souls. But nay, I did said; almost.
    Wow, that is awesome!!
    Quote Originally Posted by George Grand View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jstas View Post
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
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  11. #11

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    Awesome, but I would love to have them.
    Michael ;)
    In the beginning, all knowledge was new!

    NORTH of 60

  12. #12

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    "B&W 801 series 3. Enough said. I don't have the boxes so local pickup only. I do have manuals Will throw in cables. Have sound anchor stands. Moving in with girlfriend who just doesn't get it."

    Jeeeeezzzz........don't move...
    _________________________________________________
    ***\\\\\........................... My Audio Journey ............................./////***

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    Thank God for different opinions. Imagine the world if we all wanted the same woman

  13. #13

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    This is a chance to purchase an awesome surround system with the legendary Bose powered acoustimass module for a fraction of full retail pricing, you will be awestruck when you hear your favorite DVD leaping out at you with unbelievable realism!

    Do I really want my favorite DVD jumping out at me with "unbelievable realism"? It might put an eye out. And "unbelievable realism" just smacks of oxymoron.
    I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore

  14. #14

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    We have 11 tapes from the late 1980's and early 1990's. These tapes are fantastic. They just don't make XXX like this anymore. Titles include Raunch-o-rama, Kink-o-Rama, Climactic Scenes, and Colossal Combos. Most tapes are 2 to 4 hours worth of 5-minute climax scenes. Many include the legendary Ron Jeremy. The tapes are particularly good if you enjoy the more natural look of women from 15 to 20 years ago.


    I don't care who ya are, that's funny right thurrr.

  15. #15

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    http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/clt/442424522.html

    "Have a look -- and call before wife gets back from church!!! $125 or best offer for person with a fast car! "

  16. #16

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  17. #17

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    lol that can't be a serious for sale ad, that thing is junk!

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by HTrookie View Post
    The Audio Research Reference 600 monoblocks are a fling, a one-night stand or a filthily expensive, unforgettable dirty weekend. These babies don't want anything to do with, or even any trace of, a long-term relationship. They could tear your heart apart and leave you broke in the blink of an eye and you would just have to pick yourself up again get on with your life.

    If you are still lucky enough to be single and insist on having THE biggest pair of stainless steel testicles in Australia then these mammoth monsters have your name on the shipping label. Providing of course you can pay for them but at less than half the cost of their original new price are you going to complain? Well some of you will I am sure but you know what you can do about that...

    Let nobody doubt your manhood ever again with these World Heavy Weight Champions featured prominently in your Hi-Fi room on centre stage.

    Much to my disappointment, never have I sold any Reference 600's to a customer that has had a gal to answer to. Too spineless and pussy whipped I'm afraid is all too often the case. But there are a few Hardcore Tubeheadz out there that will let no man, woman or child stand in the way of their ultimate listening pleasure. To them; I salute you! We should all have the good manners to stand back and admire their pure and uncompromising dedication to an utterly extravagant and overwhelmingly hardcore indulgence in a world that is growing more mundane and impersonal each and every spirit sapping day. Come home to these perfect REF600 Mk.III monoblocks every night and you will be lifted to another dimension of reality that so few will ever experience in their lifetime it almost makes you feel an ounce of pity for their sad and sorry souls. But nay, I did said; almost.
    Classic

  19. #19

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    From an amp ad on ebay.
    Attached Images  
    Make yourself necessary to someone. Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Salk SoundScape 8's
    Krell KSL Class A Pre w/ KSL Phono
    Krell Class A KSA-250
    Harmonic Technology Pro 9+
    Squeezebox Touch / Welborne Labs PS / I2S Out Mod
    Denon 3910 w/I2S/DSD Out
    Twisted Pear Buffalo III Dual Mono ESS Sabre32 DAC
    Sennheiser HD650
    Heavy Plinth Lenco L75 Idler Drive
    AA MG-1 Linear Air Bearing Arm
    Dynavector 17D3
    Shunyata Hydra (Original)
    NHT B-12d subs
    GIK Acoustic Treatments


    CP Showcase

  20. #20

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    He killed the cat????????? That's....funny...
    _________________________________________________
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  21. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by SCompRacer View Post
    From an amp ad on ebay.
    That was hilarious:D
    2CH - Magnepan MGIIIA's, Rogue Audio Magnum 66 pre, Parasound HCA1200 MKII, Douglas Connection IC's and Cables, Oppo BDP-83SE

    Main HT - Adcom GFA7400, Rti70, Csi40, Rti28, Onkyo TX-SR705, Sony BDP-S1000ES, Signal Cable Analog 2 IC's, Mitsubishi 65" DLP, M&K 1250 THX Sub, Knu Koncepts cables

    Mini HT - Samsung 46" 3D TV + 3D Blu ray player, HK AVR 254, Rti8's, Athena 12" sub

  22. #22

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    All these cat lovers around here aren't going to like that. I'm not one of them though. :D
    Casey

  23. #23

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    Hmm the seller is Scompracer....wonder who that could be :)

  24. #24

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    That is too funny,I'm still laughing :)
    JC approves....he told me so. (F-1 nut)

  25. #25

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    How could there be enough current in a speaker cable to kill a cat? Who is he hoping will buy his amp? Rampaging cat murderers? In any case, I think that e-Bay seller might need some help from Dr. Phil ...

  26. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by BaggedLancer View Post
    Hmm the seller is Scompracer....wonder who that could be :)
    :D

    I had no buyers from CP so it ended up on ebay, where a fellow from WI purchased it. I had some fun with the ad but edited it before it was posted. No cats were killed by that RB-1090 while I owned it.

    EDIT: I also changed the word Amplifryer in the title to Amplifier.
    Last edited by SCompRacer; 10-14-2007 at 12:36 PM.
    Make yourself necessary to someone. Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Salk SoundScape 8's
    Krell KSL Class A Pre w/ KSL Phono
    Krell Class A KSA-250
    Harmonic Technology Pro 9+
    Squeezebox Touch / Welborne Labs PS / I2S Out Mod
    Denon 3910 w/I2S/DSD Out
    Twisted Pear Buffalo III Dual Mono ESS Sabre32 DAC
    Sennheiser HD650
    Heavy Plinth Lenco L75 Idler Drive
    AA MG-1 Linear Air Bearing Arm
    Dynavector 17D3
    Shunyata Hydra (Original)
    NHT B-12d subs
    GIK Acoustic Treatments


    CP Showcase

  27. #27

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    I purchased the new Transformers DVD, on HD DVD, thinking my PS3 supported all DVD formats. Come to find out, it doesn't. I need to sell this and get the regular DVD version. I paid over $30 with taxes, so I'm only asking $30 for the box. It's the special edition two disc HD DVD version. I only opened the package to insert the movie for the first time, so it's in IMMACULATE condition. Let me know if you want it. Thanks.
    Apparently to him HD DVD and Blu Ray are the same thing :D

  28. #28

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    "You are looking at a personally designed matched 5:1 "Surround Sound Speaker System" by Mathew Polk back when he owned "Polk" and their product was considered top shelf. He sold his company about 7-years ago and the speakers are now made in Tijuana, Mexico and are very poor quality.

    http://cls.audiogon.com/cgi-bin/cls....ull&1200722567
    _________________________________________________
    ***\\\\\........................... My Audio Journey ............................./////***

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    Thank God for different opinions. Imagine the world if we all wanted the same woman

  29. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricardo View Post
    "You are looking at a personally designed matched 5:1 "Surround Sound Speaker System" by Mathew Polk back when he owned "Polk" and their product was considered top shelf. He sold his company about 7-years ago and the speakers are now made in Tijuana, Mexico and are very poor quality.

    http://cls.audiogon.com/cgi-bin/cls....ull&1200722567

    LOL! You going to enlighten him?

  30. #30

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    Sent a PM to Mark (Doro) asking if Polk would contact the guy or something.
    _________________________________________________
    ***\\\\\........................... My Audio Journey ............................./////***

    2008 & 2010 Football Pool WINNER
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    Thank God for different opinions. Imagine the world if we all wanted the same woman

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