I want to be my kids!

[shack]

So here I am, slugging away at the same profession that I’ve been doing for the last 30 years…(granted, IMO I’m good at it and am compensated well for doing so)….But the fact that I just received text messages from my two kids got me thinking that I want their lives.

My youngest just quit her part-time job at the corporate offices of Regal Cinemas (the largest theater chain in the world) a couple of weeks ago. It was a boring job that she had for the past 3 years…but it was real flexible, paid ok and she got lots of free movie passes as perks. Ideal for a HS and college student. Her NEW summer job is as a photographer for a whitewater rafting company. Several of her friends are the raft guides and she takes the pictures to sell to the customers at the end of trip. The company provides all the gear and she makes a good hourly wage plus a percentage of the sales at the end of the summer. She only works Tues., Wed., Thurs., and Sat. They basically camp on the river during the week. Of course she was able to take off a couple of days to go to Bonaroo (which is where she is now and texted me to tell me how good the bands were). She lives in a condo near campus that I own and I pay for her tuition and some of her living expenses while she is in school.

My oldest daughter just graduated in May with a degree in interior design/architecture, Cum Laude. We took her on a cruise as a graduation present to Mexico, Costa Rica and Panama. It was a great trip. While we on the trip she informed us of her “summer plans”. She has sent resumes all over the US and several foreign countries. Most of the firms she would like to work for have told her that they really don’t hire for entry level positions until the fall because most of them use college interns to do that sort of work during the summer. Rather than take a job to just mark time or keep her job she has had for a year with the universities catering service she decided to go to Africa. With the money she had saved and the graduation gifts she received, she and a friend put together a trip. They are spending 2 weeks in Egypt starting in Cairo. So far she has been to the pyramids, ridden a camel in the Sahara, swam in the Nile and is now on a two day trip traveling up the Nile on a faluca. A faluca is the traditional sailboat that you see on the Nile and she was able to send me a text telling me what a blast it was. Later she will go to Alexandria, Aswan and several other stops. Next they will travel to Nairobi, Kenya and are volunteering in a rural orphanage for 6 weeks. From that base they will be able to take weekend trips to various sites in Kenya. After that they will be traveling by train for two weeks in Tanzania to see several of the national game parks and then on for a few days in Madagascar for some snorkeling and partying. Then back to Nairobi for flights back to the states. She was able to put all of this together for around $4,000 and is paying for it herself. This is the same kid who did and exchange study program last year at the University of Krakow, Poland and then went backpacking to Italy, France, England and Norway. The only thing I paid for on that trip was the tuition. She works hard, doesn’t blow her money and loves to travel. At 23 she has been to 20+ countries and 4 continents.

Here I am, helping rich people get richer, day in day out. It’s not a bad life…but damn…I think I need to kick back and do what my girls are doing. Once I get the youngest graduated…I may just retire and see the world…spend all my money…then come back and let the girls take care of me…:D

[jdhdiggs]

Sounds rough on them, you done good Shack...

[steveinaz]

Good family stuff Shack; sounds like they are movin and shakin. My children have already been briefed that there will be NO inheritance, and to prepare accordingly.

[nadams]

I want to be your kid, too...

Can I?

[engtaz]

You have done a great job raising your kids. Not once did you speak about them in trouble. As parents, all we want is for our kids to be happy. You have succeeded in that.

engtaz

[cfrizz]

+100 on what Engtaz said!!

You done good Shack! By all means, once the last one is out, start concentrating on you & the Missus & get out there & have fun.

[shack]

I want to be your kid, too...

Can I?

NO! You already have a house and a truck. What more do you need?

[shack]

You have done a great job raising your kids. Not once did you speak about them in trouble. As parents, all we want is for our kids to be happy. You have succeeded in that.

engtaz

They have never given me one bit of trouble. Great kids, made great grades in HS and college (the one that just graduated carried a 4.0 through HS), played sports, volunteered and have never been in jail. They "pretty much" did what they told me they were doing and were straight with me. The youngest did slip up once and get plastered on and it ended up on myspace...but she HATED it...and decided that drinking wasn't much fun. I'm pretty sure she has avoided it since then. I've been very lucky with my kids.

[nadams]

This is true... if I was your son, I wouldn't be able to marry one of your daughters :o

:p

[shack]

I'm OK with footing the bill for their college education....you know...giving them the skills necessary to earn a good living so they can take care of me in my old age.

I mentioned to my wife that there should be an either/or situation here. I would either pay for a college education so they could take care of themselves or pay for a wedding so they could let someone else do that...and if they were smart enough... collect alimony for the rest of their lives. It would of course be their choice...pick one or the other. Seems like my idea has been shot down and I will probably have to foot the bill for both.

I'm pretty sure there will be a cash bonus for either one (or both) if they decide to elope and spare me the expense of paying for the ceremony for them to marry some ******* who isn't good enough for them. One can only hope.

[nadams]

Ouch... if that reply hadn't come one minute after mine... I'd feel mildly offended :p

[steveinaz]

Sounds like you got some great girls Steve. It's exciting watching them make their way to success. Congratulations.

[shack]

Sounds like you got some great girls Steve. It's exciting watching them make their way to success. Congratulations.

Thanks Steve. I AM proud of them!

[shack]

Ouch... if that reply hadn't come one minute after mine... I'd feel mildly offended :p

No Noah...I wasn't "specifically" targeting you...just guys in general...;)

[janmike]

Nice going Steve – job well done. Being proud of your children - well, it probably doesn't get any better. Those final years are a little ahead of me right now (I started late in life) and my only hope is that my son is happy, healthy, does well and is motivated to enjoy and succeed in life. Oh, and that he continues to love us as we love him.

[Jstas]

No Noah...I wasn't "specifically" targeting you...just guys in general...;)

Yeah, he was referring more to guys like me. ;)




And good for you shack, it's obvious you did something right. Lets hope that their good fortune holds out and they can find a deserving guy.

But it's not so bad to give a choice that makes the kids look to the future to see the benefit. Shows that good things come to those who wait. But I don't think I would have chosen between school and a wedding for a girl.

[Ron-P]

Fantastic story Shack.

[PolkWannabie]

I mentioned to my wife that there should be an either/or situation here. I would either pay for a college education so they could take care of themselves or pay for a wedding so they could let someone else do that...and if they were smart enough... collect alimony for the rest of their lives. It would of course be their choice...pick one or the other. Seems like my idea has been shot down and I will probably have to foot the bill for both.

Nice try with that ... I tried the same thing a few years ago before numero uno got married ... You can guess who lost ...

In terms of expense the ceremony is cake ( no pun intended ) ... it's the cake and everything that goes with it that isn't ... When the time comes you'll no doubt be wondering why for a few hour bash you are handing out enough cash that would have allowed you and your wife to take a several month long around the world cruise with a whole lot less control then you think you should have ... From my experience the only way to limit anything is in terms of number of guests ... If you let them have 500+ you're in deep do do ... For all this you get to do the walk down the aisle, a kiss goodbye, a dance and your choice of photos to remember it all ... LOL ... But as I recall it was still worth it ...

You get to have a lot more fun with a lot less responsibility when you have grand children ...

[TroyD]

I AM shack's kid. He's been ducking the blood test for years.

Screw him.

BDT

[RuSsMaN]

Shoot man, they can get student loans, you CAN'T get a retirement loan.

Let them go out into the world buried in debt like the rest of us.

[Serendipity]

Shoot man, they can get student loans, you CAN'T get a retirement loan.

Let them go out into the world buried in debt like the rest of us.

Haha, I'm glad that I have a scholarship otherwise I would be buried in debt too!

[madmax]

Don't worry Shack, in a few years they will pay dearly to have you shipped far far away to a home where you can't escape from.
madmax

[shack]

Shoot man, they can get student loans, you CAN'T get a retirement loan.

Let them go out into the world buried in debt like the rest of us.

Retirement is pretty much taken care of. The final two years of college for the younger one is in the bank. I only have R/E debt. S I'm ding just fine.

I made a decision many years ago that my kids would go to college if they chose to do so and I would pay for it if at all possible. I made that happen. They will start their careers with a clean slate...AND...the background to understand that you don't base a lifestyle on credit, but you spend less than what you make and if that isn’t enough you figure out how to make more…or spend less. I don't envy them starting out in times of $4+ a gallon for gas and $5 a gallon for milk and all that that signifies. I hope my kids lives will be as fruitful as mine has been. I have done everything I can to help them in their endeavors. I think they will do just fine.

[RuSsMaN]

Good for you Shack, and even better for the kiddos.

[shack]

I AM shack's kid. He's been ducking the blood test for years.

Screw him.

BDT

Not true....I have proof. There has NEVER EVER been a Pats fan in my family. It is genetically impossible for us to have that recessive gene.

GO COLTS!

(or go Manning...whichever works for you...;))

[shack]

Don't worry Shack, in a few years they will pay dearly to have you shipped far far away to a home where you can't escape from.
madmax

I've got this figured out. See...I'm going to TELL them there is this huge trust fund available to the kid that treats her old man the best in his twilight years. Of course there isn't...but they won't know that and can't take the chance that they might lose out. I'll just leave them a message to read once I'm gone that I just forgot...and accidently spent it all...whoops! ;).

[madmax]

In any case, please forward my name to provide a quick solution if they should decide not to humor their looney dad... Just kidding, I'm sure they will find a "retirement community" for your final year.

[Serendipity]

I made a decision many years ago that my kids would go to college if they chose to do so and I would pay for it if at all possible. I made that happen.

From what it sounds like, your daughter is very smart...has she considered applying for a scholarship? That way you won't have to pay for some (or all) of her college expenses...

I basically have everything except food, dorm, and transportation fees covered...it's a great way to save money and in today's age of $4/gal. gas, every penny counts ;)

[exalted512]

I want to be your kid!
-Cody

[shack]

From what it sounds like, your daughter is very smart...has she considered applying for a scholarship? That way you won't have to pay for some (or all) of her college expenses...

I basically have everything except food, dorm, and transportation fees covered...it's a great way to save money and in today's age of $4/gal. gas, every penny counts ;)

I make too much money for 95% of the scholarships available which are mostly "need" based. When we were looking for schools, one of the financial advisors told me if I would emancipate (basically kick her out on her own) she could have gotten a full ride...tutition, room, food, books and even spending money. But based on my income, there were not many alternatives unless you were a truly "gifted" student with extremely high ACT or SAT scores. Hers were good but just not exceptional and high school grades didn't really matter much. There is the Hope Scholarship which is available to Tennessee Residents which is $4,000 per year. That amount covers part of one semesters tutition. It was created after she started and she was grandfathered in for 3 years and that helped some. Anyway, she graduated. The younger daughter makes good grades but again not exceptional enough for pure "academic" scholarships. Both had the option of athletic scholarships at smaller D2 or D3 schools, but decided that they would rather be college students at a large university rather that college "athletes", which would mean 50-60% of their time would be devoted to the sport. I was ok with their decisions not to pursue athletic scholarships.