Interesting events for me on Monday:
Gave some guy the Heimlich a couple of days ago. We had stopped for pizza at Papa Johns (since they wouldn't deliver with all the snow) and some lady comes running up to me screaming about her husband choking. He staggered out of his tow truck, drool running down his bluish face. She screamed "Help, what do I do?" so I screamed back "the heimlich." She screams back at me "I don't know how!" My ultra-classic answer "Just do it like they do on TV!" She screams back "I'm not big enough, I don't know how, what do I do?" So I scream back "call the f@cking cops then!" Some delivery guy was there, but he stood there like a statue, so I grabbed dude, made a fist like ...well, like on tv, and started basically trying to pull his guts up and through his back.
After a couple of good tugs he coughs up some huge piece of food he apparently tried to inhale and that was that.
Morals of the story: 1.) When poo hits the fan, do not panic. Panic turned the whole crowd into frozen statues. I think they'd have just watched the guy die in disbelief if someone hadn't taken charge. Create calm, assess the situation, act accordingly. And if you're too panicked to create calm, at least start barking orders to get everyone moving :)
2....) When in doubt, "do it like they do on tv!" (I still can't believe I said that...)
I had crazy shaky hands on the drive home, and a little different perspective on Christmas this year. At one point I wondered if I was doing it right/would break his ribs, but then I figured he'd rather have a broken rib than be dead...And my last resort was going to be punching him in the solar plexus as hard as I could, b/c I am skinny, and this guy was taller and heavier than me. I'll never know how I got him off the ground that forcefully 4-5 times before he coughed up his inhaled dinner..............
I got the hell out of there before the cops or ambulance showed up. I wanted pizza, not an hour discussion about some dude choking at Papa Johns.
So there's my excitement for the year. Carry on :)